invisibleheart

As I lay here thoughts are flowing in my head of the things I wanna say to you. And as always some tears cannot go unshed to how much we have lost. There's so many things I wanna tell you that I know will be left unsaid coz you closed the door. I still speak to you in ways as though you still love me.. As how I still love you and that is always... I silently cry to where no one can hear but my own coz no one really knows what how empty it feels like. Not even you, no never you... You don't know what it feels like.... I was so foolish and naive to have believed in you, to hang to every word, to hold to whatever hope. And you turn around like cowards do, with no respect to me or what we have, I guess you forgotten all about that.

I miss you tremendously *sigh*

Why? ...why? 3

I know stupidity and foolishness needs to stop... have to accept its really over, no matter what I do.. no matter what I say there's no reaching out to you. I have no more pride, self-worth and respect left. My heart and soul is all empty now, drained to every battle... I fought so hard... but you have beaten me every step of the way.

That she, who ever she was, made you forget everything. It hurts that what we had... its long gone now, that she have your heart now. To where me.. I don't know if I'll ever love again, its sad, its lonely... and I miss you tremendously.

I love you.

I am so weak...

I miss you terribly. Though staying away from everything kept me sane enough... Coz I know you no longer love or have a need of me. Your very much happy now... And I myself no longer have a life in me.

Its so lonely and painful living a life without you.

Hey, how's your day... I miss you terribly today yet I know how you do not. I don't think you even care nor give a damn about it... It hurts to realize how much I trusted and believe in you. And when I needed you or just someone there for me... You were not or will ever be... Maybe if I'll just say goodbye over and over finally a part of me will accept just how much it is over. Though you know me... I am lousy at goodbyes... Yet I won't fail on this one.

Goodbye. Goodbye. Goodbye.

How much you hurt me... I pray deeply that someday a good rightful man shall come to hold me strong and keep me close as his.

That all this pain, shame and failure will be long gone... But for now, I'll be on my own... courageously taking each day to forgive myself for ever loving a man like you.

How much you hurt me...

I just got home. Attend the mass in the city, prayed about strength and acceptance to go through this breakup been doing so for almost 3 months now. From there walked back home... with the new playlist I have, as it was refreshing... being fit reminds me of you, I know how you are into it which something I always admire you of. I am scared and fighting off this feeling that no one can ever be like you in my life... that you have raised the standard and experience so much thag I'll be forever trap in the love I have for you. I miss you and I hope someday, someday I still get to see you again. It keeps me moving the idea of seeing you again.

I wanna disappear... I just wanna disappear as weak that sound. Its just too much the way you left me... this loneliness and failure is too much to bear. I can't survive, there's no life in me.

You seem very happy now, you are. While I cry still from losing you... while I beg my heart out to have you back... why life be this cruel?

I know your far beyond me now... I've been crying for days now just the loneliness of how I miss you so much. I miss you so much. I miss you so much...

I am so dead and empty inside. I still can't believe its over... that you never coming back... I am so dead... I miss you so much.

I wish we could go back to how once it was... I miss you.

I can't believe its really over. That I don't get to see you anymore, that I don't get to hear from you anymore. I am so dead inside.

I miss you... its been 2 months and I still feel lost and just empty of a future without you.

I died inside when you left me. I live but there's no more life inside of me.

I almost almost email you today, glad I did not manage to send it! I regret even sending you those emails. Ugh. Its over. Its over.

Please come back.. be with me again.. please.. I am ready now, I'll give everything for you and show you we are so meant to be together. Please.. I miss you so much..

Am so suffocating... I miss you so much... and I know you never do... its so hopeless and painful to realize how much I lost you... memories of you, us... just just in my head... I wanna be back to where we once was and wanna do it much better much great... then then you would have not left me... why... am so broken. I miss you so much.