From_Now_On

Hey From_Now_On_and_Always

I was googling what circumstances might be behind the "i don't want to hurt you" response from a girl who I confessed to liking.

I believe your response was to be there for her and not rush things

I was in a 6 year relationship with my first love from the age of 18, then I broke up with her because I wanted to live as a celibate monk of sorts. I was young and ***ed up in the head.

I didn't date for 8 years . Yes trying to be a monk and all that jazz.

I got out of that bs last year and so I've been dating again on and off for a year and I recognise I'm ***ing clueless. 

Recently I started liking a 28 yo girl i met on tinder. She's quite shy. She had also been in a 6 year relationship that started straight out of highschool. That ended 4 years ago for her. I think she's been hurt badly but I can't say for sure how.  

I like her a lot but it's only been three weeks and we've had three "dates" so far.

OK so a few days ago she was driving me and one of her friends (a work colleague) home. The friend in the car asked me: "Do you have a girlfriend?" and obviously the answer should have been "not at the moment but i like someone [add inside joke clue to girl of interest]" but I said "kind of" or "half half" or something to that effect. I know.. .***.... And i realised the girl that i liked may have interpreted my answer as me confesing to playing the field or seeking to commit to some other girl. 

She didn't pull me up on it but I told her the next day that I liked her a lot and that I said "kind of" because I wanted her to be my girlfriend in the future. 

She said she prefers that we be good friends. She enjoys single life and is not ready for a relationship. I said I also want to be friends before getting into a relationship but that I thought I should be upfront about my feelings for her. I said if you want to see me again while knowing I like you then that's enough for me. She then said she doesn't mind seeing me again but that she is afraid of hurting me.

I interpreted this as 75% chance of a being a gentle let down. 

I was looking for that other 25% chance of being something else, since my sister said that she put up walls to test her now husband. 

I'm wondering if you could tell me your story. What happened when you said "i'm afraid of hurting you"

Thanks again. 

I couldn't send a private message to you for some reason. You can PM if you'd like.