Stuck in a rut in Breaking Up Advice Posted November 21, 2020 Hello all Im sure this isn't a new unique situation to some people, and I'm sure everyone will be screaming the same answer at me. I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for nearly 4 years now and things have been getting progressively worse under the surface while remaining happy in the outside. I'm in a total rut right now and honestly, the prospect of what I have to do terrifies me. Arguments are a regular accurence now, and honest communication between us is impossible now because I have to be so careful about what I say as she gets very verbally aggresive towards me if I say anything she either doesn't like or doesn't agree with. Couple that to her lack of commitment to the relationship, her low priority towards me and her control over everything we do. Its resulted in me feeling very insecure and constantly stressed while around her. I don't have many people who I can talk about the problems we've been having but the people I have asked instantly say, "your not happy, you shouldn't be treated like this, leave her." This is very easily said but at this point, I've invested so much into the relationship to keep it going, most of my friends are through the relationship and I'm also heavily involved with her family. As I said earlier the thought of leaving her is terrifying because I do love this person but it's getting so difficult to keep up a brave face. Thankfully, apart from a dog, we aren't financially dependant on each other and there are no children to consider. The change would be a fine thing as the sexual side of the relationship is (and has always been) zero. She is also totally unwilling to move in with me and will only consider us getting a mortgage together which is something I'm massively uncomfortable with, but as she said, "that's our only option." I could spend all day talking about all the things that frustrate me about her but it gets to a stage where there's no point anymore and Im just totally worn out by it all. I know I need to end it with her but at this stage I don't know how I can do it. I hope I have managed to get my concerns across and any advice on the matter would be very much appreciated.