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Hi, I'm new...but I hope someone can help me with this.


I've been in an LDR and broke up with my beau a month ago. I actually boke up with him over jealousy and was angry when I did it. Now, I regret it. There really was no real reason, I just got frustrated with him. But a few things did take place during our 9-month relationship: he got shipped to war. during that time his brother got killed in another state, and he was granted a 2-week leave for the funeral; I couldn't go on such short notice, so my little sister who lives there went; I flew to his state to see him before he went back to war and was there for him; months later, he returns from war and I'm missing him, but I felt his feelings changed and I nagged him. The more I pushed the less he opened up. He used to call DAILY, even though it was an LDR. His calls dwindled, but he still insisted nothing was wrong, he's not seeing anyone and was just too busy opening his new business. I was fine w/all this until I came accross an email from my little sis to him (I got access from her). Her emails were flirtatious and I confronted him about them. He says they are really just friends and he enjoys her company. Well, he ends up in her state and they hung out. I blew my top and got angry with both of them.


Long story short, they really were just friends and she had my interest at heart. Now I feel terrible for breaking up with him and asked him if he'd entertain the thought of reuniting. Of course, I didn't expect him to say "Gee! sure!" but he was cautious and said "we'll talk." That's been a few weeks now. I caved in and called him a few times. Once I couldn't reach him and he returned my call. But he's not initiating the calls to me. Am I torturing myself or do I really have a shot? I feel I should give him time.. It's been a month. But how long is reasonable to wait? He's an avid football fan, so he's zipping all over the country going to away-games, yet he can't find time to come to see me at my state. (Before the breakup, he did plan to do that).


When we talk, there's some ackward moments but he says he misses me. How do I get him back?

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Swing Fox,


Your advice sounds so astoundingly simple! I thank you for the response. I feel as if my jealousy and perception of things may have done some damage or have turned him off. A soother is this: My town was in Isabel's wrath yesterday and he did call to see how I was faring in the storm. But I'm trying not to "perceive" that as an effort to get back together and more his being concerned.


I think I'll send him a card, or something I took the time to write, in a few days or a week. I don't want to be in a position where I seem desparate or pushy. But the "wait" is killing me.


Great idea on giving myself a "deadline" to wait. I didn't think to do that!

As I'll need 3 months to sort things out and work on handling my jealousy, I'll give him that...meaning, he'll have until the end of November. I'm in no position to start a new relationship, nor do I care to, but I will remain open for any opportunities.



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