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i dont know why he did this to me hes ruined my life


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hi my name marianne i recently 2 months broke up with my ex boyfriend of 6yrs cause he kept on hitting me and didnt like me having male friends anyways i managed to get over him it was just the mermories haunting me that made me miss him recently i over heard that he had a new gf first of of all i was shocked that he got over me quickly and half thinking that it was just a rebound but then i also found out that he had been seeing this girl for the last 6 months and also she is one of his ex gfs sister which made me sick she is 19 im 22 and hes 27 i thought i was doing okay till i get find out this shit why did i get cheated on and at the same time i was getting called a slut by him and getting hit all the time by him and why did he ruin my life by lying to me i feel like crying of the shit ive beeen thur recently we were the best couple b4 this shit happens ive tried going night clubbing meeting other guys but somehow it always gets messy or i just mess up. i dont know if i will find the right guy ive had other guys just muck me around and they dont know what shit ive been thur or how it feels

someone help me plz

Marianne

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hi marianne, i think you need to calm down a little, take a deep breath and relax honey.

 

finding this stuff out has dragged back a hell of a lot of hurt for you. you probably have a lot of unanswered questions at the moment and i can understand that.

 

i dont think any of us get a real answer of why we where the ones to be dumped or hurt or why they did it to us.

 

take a step back, how have u been coping in the last 2 months?

 

its go to hear that u have been clubbing and trying to live a little.

but most ppl in a night club dont want to know about ur problems they there for a good time.

 

no one really know how you feel, you will find someone out there who u can open up to and that person will listen, understand and support you.

 

its gonna take time.

 

i know myself that its going to take time to try and get myself sorted out too.

my gf and i split cuz she was being led by other ppl who were jealous of us.

she blamed me for it all and really hurt me. but now she realises that it was them that caused it, but she need time to straighten her head out.

i dont know if we will get back, i pray we do but she needs time.

 

i need love, pathetic i know, all my mates moved away and its difficult.

 

sorry off track there, keep talking to us here at enotalone.

 

the right person is out there for you, stay strong go beat up a tree(i did it helps) and keep posting when u feel down.

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Okay, RELAX, girl, you're gonna hyperventilate.....lol First off, you're not doing yourself ANY good by constantly dwelling on what was, and what he did, and what he's doing now. He's in "ex" status, which means he doesn't have the power to hurt you anymore unless you let him. Yes, you've had a rough time, I can understand that completely, and you said you started to get over him. Why not keep going with it? I know it hurts like hell to find out you've been cheated on, but your relationship is already over with him, and he'll most likely do the same thing to his current g/f as he did to you, so feel for HER. She most likely doesn't even know you exist, since he's not exactly Prince Charming and I highly doubt he told her he was already involved.

 

As for you....get on with your life. Your life is by no means "ruined"....it only is if you decide it is, and throw in the towel. You gonna let that happen to you over this piece of crap guy? I hope not. Bad relationships in the past? Then be alone for awhile, and be a little more cautious and choosy the next time you like someone. Not too choosy, but just don't rush into anything you're not sure of. And be CONFIDENT. You know you're worth more than being abused, so let that show. Don't be a SNOB, but don't cower either....lol There are a LOT of wonderful guys out there, you've just had the misfortune of catching the losers. There's nothing that says you can't enjoy your life alone, and, from the sound of it, it might benefit you, instead of hurrying on to the next guy you meet. Just take your time, enjoy your friends and family, and let things take their course. Don't settle just because you don't want to be alone, the wait is usually worth it!

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I definitely agree with Mar and Dino-prime on this issue. Why??? Because I was just there not too long ago.. try 3 weeks ago! Yeah, I didn't know why my fiance dumped me... all he said was that he always thought I was checking up on him but I had true reason... I found out (by instinct and then by proof) that he was cheating on me with one of our friends! Yeah, so once I was let go, I was totally devastated.. sleepless nites, couldn't eat or do anything that was in my normal routine. But then at some moment I woke up and realized that I was so much better off. Like you, I went out to try to meet people but for a while that just didn't work for me because all I could think about was him... and how I still loved him. But I had to kick myself to come back to reality and one day I went to chill at a pool hall by myself... only to meet some guys that came up to me and asked me if I was alright because I was there alone. (This was a military base hall). It was then to my surprise that I had met the guy that I am still seeing right now... and he cares for me for who I am and not how much money I had in the bank (my ex thought I was his personal ATM).

 

Basically what I'm getting at is that love, if it's meant to be, will find you... you don't need to go out looking for it. If you do that, you may be fooling yourself and messing with your emotions to think that you have found love but what you have relly found is just a temp solution. But what I did find is that this site helped me out a great deal, just being able to talk to people and hearing their comments... and then helping myself to utilize what people say and now I couldn't be happier. I have realized that I should have dumped my ex a long time ago... I was hurting myself by staying with someone who used me. In your case, you definitely need to get out of that relationship and stay out... no woman deserves to have a hand hit upon them.

 

Keep an upper lip, be strong, and do what you like... do what you wouldn't have done if you were still with him. Find yourself and then find what you want in that special guy you seek. And I promise you... at the oddest moment when you're not expecting it, he'll be standing right there in front of you. Good luck, sweetie.

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