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See my problem is, getting married and having fights all day long, getting told what to do, changing my life. etc..


I hate changing for anyone cos I see it as if you take me one way then you have to keep me that way.


I do want to get married but with a man that i would really love and will love me as much back. Im 23 and not really in anything serious. i am with this guy but we live 2hours away from each other, we chat over the phone every night. Been with him for 7months but seen him only 4times which is f**ked. but we really like each other, we both same age religion. But do i really know him to marry him????????????cos chatting to him a few hours in the day to actually being with a guy and getting to know him is well different.

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thank you so much for your comment and ya it has helped me a bit.


going away with hims will be hard as i work and he is at uni.


but we did go away for the weekend which went really well, but we did end up making love most of the time. and did chat a bit too.


but can that be enought time to get to know what a person is relly like?


i dont know if we do get married it will not be for the next two years yet but we are both 23 and i left uni last year. and he does not finish till another2 years yet, but my mum is on my case about geting married. i cant and dont wanna tell my mum about him yet in case it does not work out. so what do i do there as well?????

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Well, you're in a tough position....a weekend with him isn't going to show either of you whether you're "right" for each other or not, since you said you've only seen him 4 times.....that doesn't give one a clear-cut picture of whether they're even long-term dating material, much less marriage! I agree that you would definitely need to pursue getting together more, as in the two-week vacation, if at all possible.....something where you get to spend a lot of time together. Right now you're still basically at the "fuzzy bunny" stage of things when you see him, since it's so far between visits.


As far as your mother goes, why's she feel the need to rush you? You're 23, you're hardly an old maid yet! It's your life and you're the one who's going to have to live with whomever you finally DO marry, presumably for the rest of your life. I'd tell her that you want to be sure of your partner and that you're in no rush to hurry into something your heart isn't 100% into. After all, she's not the one marrying, you are! Just take it easy and see if you and your b/f can work out some sort of compromise to see each other more often....you're not really in the position of being able to truly say if this is someone you're going to spend your life with or not yet.....

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your rite in what you are saying, I CAN WAIT I AM ONLY 23..


its just hard cos i really wanna see my guy more, but cant its been 1month and 2weeks now and that just takes the piss. i think to myslf can i do this, and no i cant but i just feel for him so so so much and he so great to me. but what he is like in person long time wish i can not find out in any ways.

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