My gf wants a physical relationship with another girl

[eshen]

I have been dating my girlfriend for almost 3 years (I'm a straight guy). My gf has expressed her bi-curiosity to me about a year and a half ago. I thought that it might be just a phase, and I didn't want to prevent her from doing something she really wanted to do, so she experimented. And she liked it. She said that it is totally different with women than with men. She says that she still loves me, and wants to be with me, but she also wants to have that physical intimacy with women.

I want to marry my gf, but I don't know if I can deal with the fact that she will continue to have physical relationships with other women. She says that she wants to continue having them, even after we get married. I don't know exactly how to feel about this. Is this normal? Can a relationship like this be successful? Or should I move on?

 

 

[sabena]

Ok, If your gf said to you that she loved you and loved being with you but that she wanted to have sex with another man, would you stay with her? No, of course you wouldn't, so what's the difference now?

 

She wants to have her cake and eat it and it is not fair on you at all. I think you have been more than lenient with her already allowing her to have intimacy with someone else whilst still with you, just because its with another woman doesn't make it any less. She is still cheating on you and you have given her the green light to do so.

 

If you want her then you have to decide whether or not you want to share her with another human being. But if like most people when you go into a relationship with the idea of marriage you tend to think its just going to be you and her then walk away now.

 

Discuss this with her and tell her your needs and wants, and don't let talk of it being with another woman make the seriousness of this matter any less, its still cheating.

[Gilgamesh]

Sabena hit it right on the head,

 

I have noticed that people that are Bi, automatically means its ok to be with both at the same time, that for some reason, commitment doesnt apply to them, why is that? Bi only means you are attracted to both men and women, doesnt mean that your free from commitment once you chose one.

 

Lets see, I am attracted to Brunettes and Blonds, so that must mean that I should not be requiered to stay faithful to my Brunette girlfriend, because, I like being with blonds too.

 

So your girl sleeping with another woman is no different than you sleeping with another woman or man! you have a commitment to each other , to love each other, if you both have an open swinging relationship then fine, at least you know what your in for, but if you think your girlfriend is not cheating just because she uses her Bi-sexuality as an excuse, well you are only fooling yourself.

[Mar]

Couldn't have said it better myself. Cheating is cheating, whether by a woman with a woman or a man with a man or whatever. She's not in YOUR arms, she's in someone else's, thereby effectively saying that you're not all she wants. Why would you settle for that? It's NOT acceptable, and if you have to question it, then you need to take a loooong look at your relationship and all its facets. Is this what you want in your life? I'd hope not!

 

I'd talk to her-find out if you're truly the person she wants to be with, or if she needs to go out there and find out what it is she wants without you, since it's not fair to you or her to be in a relationship where someone has these feelings (especially not knowing what sex they ultimately want to be with!) and can't honestly explore them and end up where they want to be. This is about you just as much as her......your self-respect and need to be loved and love in return. And you're only getting part of that back. Doesn't sound quite right, does it......

 

Good luck, and I hope you can come to a resolution in this that makes both of you happy!

[Turboz]

Well I agree and I disagree.

 

I don't think it's right for her to go with other people but...

 

I hate to go against the grain here but at least she HAS been honest with you about it. She's told you that she wants you but also wants to go with another woman and she's done what she honestly told you.

 

If I was in your situation I would be disturbed but I could see the positive site:

You marry her. She sleeps with you and gives you sex on a regular basis (well you've told us she has a high sex drive). Then she brings a woman home to go with. Your a man, you have needs - If another woman has her tongue in your wifes hole, then where are you going to go? - Either in your wifes mouth or the other woman's hole. She must respect that if she needs sexual satisfaction, that she must allow you to have it too.

 

If I'm totally honest about it I wouldn't call it cheating. Cheating I define as going with 2 people whilst not telling at least one of them about the other. She has told you so I would say thats honourable. At the end of the day though you must confess you have the opportunity to have 2 women which could be great sex!

 

If you can, hammer both their holes!