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My story is a bit complicated so this post may get a bit long. I will try to be sincere so please refrain from judging my past behaviour, I am aware about the bad things I did.

 

I never questioned my sexuality until two, three months ago. I always considered myself straight, did that automatically; I am a feminine looking girl who likes dressing herself up, using makeup, talking about guys etc. The problem is this girl, who by the way looks much more like a lesbian than I do (if there is something as a lesbian look), dark short hair, no makeup, I will call her E. Do you know this feeling at the first lesson in a new class and you look at your classmates and you immediately know who you could become friends which? It says click, you feel some strange connection with that person. Well for me I felt this with this girl. No she isn’t my best friend, not even a friend at all, I always thought I hated her (sounds strange doesn’t it?).

 

E and I have always been in the same class since we were little kids; we always ended up in the same even later as we accidentally at all times picked exactly the same subjects. We got in bad terms right from the beginning. I tried to befriend her but she said that she didn’t want any friends which I took as a personal found insult (this was when I six, maybe seven years old). Her carefree nonchalant way made me hate her. I got other friends and we used to tease, bully her for being weird, for not having any friend, for being the pet of the teacher, for being too tall. I just wanted some reaction from her but no; she never showed any emotions about our teasing.

 

I really loathed her. With the years I made my teasing more subtle, in form of friendly pieces of advice and innocent questions. I don’t know why I disliked her so much; it was just something about her. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I couldn’t stop myself.

 

For about three months ago I had this dream that E and I were alone in the classroom, I said something mean about her appearance, she looked down on me and then she leaned in and kissed me. At first I was shocked and then I accused her for being a Lesbian. She said: “Isn’t this was what you always wanted.” At that point I woke up, I immediately told myself I never had a nightmare like that and I tried to not think about it again. But as you surely have experienced, things you try not to think about are the things that pops up in your head the most.

 

I had set my eyes on a guy who I will call B. B is very good looking; all the girls in class were talking about him. When I first saw E and B together I felt a pang. He seemed interested in E; I thought it unfair and felt jealous. Why would B who could get anybody he wanted choose somebody as E? I couldn’t see what he saw in her. Why couldn’t he choose someone else? It then hit me that it wasn’t her I was jealous on, I wouldn’t have minded if he was with somebody else. When I realised what my thinking really meant I felt like throwing up and I couldn’t eat a thing during the lunch. I become conscious of that ever since I first saw her I had always wanted to become her friend (but she pushed everybody who came near her away), that all my teasing had been to get her attention, to get her to see me.

 

I had earlier that morning (and some days before too) been harassing E with questions about what B and her had been doing, implying that she had been leading him on. During the break somebody suddenly grabbed my arm, when I saw that it was her I blushed (and I never blush). She dragged me to the next classroom that was empty. My heart was beating very fast, we were alone and she stood so close to me. She said something like: “I am tired of your insinuations about B and me. I and B have done nothing, I don’t like B and I don’t care if you take him. It isn’t my fault if he doesn’t fall in love with you.” I couldn’t make myself look at her while she talked, I stuttered some short response. Shaken as I was about how her presense affected me I returned as fast as I could without running to the classroom.

 

That happened two months ago and I haven’t said a word to her since, she is probably wondering why I am not bothering her like I use to. I really can’t continue trying to make her school time a hell, my bad conscious is catching up now when I know my real motives for having treated her so bad. I had hoped that my weird feelings concerning her would disappear quite fast, in a couple of days but they haven’t yet. I am kind of scared of them. Remember the “nightmare” I mentioned? At this stage I have daydreamed about sceneries that go far beyond that and many of them with me inciting everything. I am disturbed, disgusted by myself for being able to change feelings about a person so rapidly and for using her in my not so innocent fantasies. If she knew of the later she would be very angry, she is a bit of a prude, the only times she reacted was when I insinuated that she had impure thoughts about somebody. She always said that she wasn’t into guys; I think she is like asexual or something close to that.

 

So you will not think that I am totally out in the blue I can tell that I and E have had some rare friendly moments before. I remember some occasions we played with each other as kids when my other friends were sick (afterwards when my friends returned to school we pretended as nothing). A couple of years ago we were ordered to work together in an assignment. It worked out pretty well, she turned out to be much more sympathetic than I thought she could be, I almost thought about making friends with her but after the work was over she returned to her old reserved self and I returned to my old patterns. Last year when I had quite a mess at home I was sitting by my own during the break so nobody would see me crying. She happened to se me there under the tree, at first she looked insecure on what to do but eventually she seated herself beside me and asked me why I was crying. I told her everything and she listened. The next day we acted like that never took place. A couple months later I saw that she was upset, I gave her a handkerchief and asked her what had happened, somebody she knew had died.

 

Somehow I wish I could just dislike her like before, it was much easier. Our hostility felt somehow like a tradition, safe, like a comfortable grudge, it is hard to explain.

 

Damn, damn, damn, damn, I don’t want have these feelings. I feel so stupid, so stupid, I have literally spoiled, ruined every chance to come near her. ](*,) I am sure that many of you will think that this serves me right for all the things I did to her. Every time she happens to look at me I turn red, every time she stands nearby I feel extremely self-conscious. Why have it to bee that my first real fantasies have to involve another girl? And why has it be of all girls her? I haven’t had feelings like this toward anybody else. Sure I have had my share part of boyfriends, who I always dumped just when they started to want something physical. My classmates think that I very experienced, done everything (which I let them believe) but in reality I haven’t done anything. I am not even sure if I had real crushes on the boys, I had boyfriends because that was what one was supposed to have.

 

As you can understand (I would be quite stupid to think otherwise) there is no chance that she would like to have something to do with me considering all the years I have troubled her. It is kind of funny that something like this had to happen for me to realise what I really have done to her. Even if I would be so bold to try to befriend her I don’t know how I could approach her, the only times I have approached her before had been to in some way be mean to her. She doesn’t live very far away from me but I can’t picture myself visit her just like that. I have seen her roughly everyday during almost thirteen years except vacations but the term is soon over and we are both seniors. When it’s over and I don’t think I ever will see her again. What should I do? I am quite messed up. Do I have a crush on her or is it a weird unhealthy obsession? Is the right thing to do to leave her alone? Thank you for reading.

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I know nothing about being female, a lesbiuan or otherwise, but as far as the sexual aspects of your story, I think you have some figuring out to do. It seems as if B was the guy you wanted, so you must have been attracted to guys. Now, you seem to have fantasies about E. Until you have figured out what it is you want, i would be very careful about proceeding in any direction sexually with anyone, even as far as kissing. If you are a lesbian, you risk, right or wrong, social stigma and family issues and who know what else by coming out. If you are straight and try something with another woman, that may not simply go away. If you are a lesbian and go out with a guy, well, it's not fun to find out your woman has gone gay on you. It is pretty devastating to find out your relationship invovled someone who did not ever really want you. So, something has you confused, etc. take your time acting on it. You may just have an obsession with this fantasy. The thought of it may do soemthing for you, while the reality won't.

 

Second, apologize to E. Just do it. Let her know that you are aware that you have at times treated her in a manner that was just not right and that you are sorry and regret doing that. You can be vague.

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Your doing too much effort to be with her,

 

Just because someone is different is NOT a justification to maltreat them. Because she looks like a guy, talks like a guy, and has a lot of male traits, she has a male affection on her that is attractive to girls. Its often so that people search something that seems to be on the line of boy/girl that they find attractive, so its not at all strange that she sparks sexual fantasies in your mind, afteral this is only normal for a lesbian to attract other girls.

 

Its clearly she managed to have some sort of this effect on you, anyway you have been ignored because of your teasing, it was exactly due to the fact that you searched attention, that she refused to give you that attention.

 

You could have been friends with her a long time ago, if you simply asked it in a normal decent manner. Instead you decided not to confront her like that, and backstab her at any oppertunity that was convienant for you.

 

So even tho it was old times sake, almost just a habit for you to tease her, it was not the way to go. You have no idea how you have hurted her.

 

So if anything i would go up to her and apologize for your actions. You'd owe her at least that. And maby if you two just started talking on a normal level again with eachother you two could become normal friends who accept eachother instead of making eachothers lives hell.

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I think the best way to open up the lines of communication is to go to her home some day and very sincerely apologize to her for the way you treated her as a kid. Just tell her that it started because she wouldn't be your friend and you felt hurt and rejected, and that you know you shouldn't have been mean to her, but you were just a little kid and that was the only way you knew how to deal with your feelings. In a backward way, you were only mean to her because you wanted to be her friend.

 

You're older now - you're more mature and you realize that the way you treated her was wrong, and want to apologize, and hopefully that will allow you two to start to be friends.

 

I wouldn't approach her at school if you can make it to her house - she'd probably be much more willing to listen if she's NOT in the place where you've always tortured her.

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Hi, Wayfara.

 

I agree with D_K, go to her house and apologize AND open up why you felt that way. If you think you'll get the nerves, sputter and not get the right things said, why not leave a letter and a gift-- something you think she's into so that it's personal and she'll appreciate the effort. Add something to the effect of, "I have always seen you as a friend, though it may not have seemed that way. I know school's almost over, but I'd like us to be better friends now and even after the year's done." Just be honest, but don't mention anything romantic! What's more important now is that you apologize and lay the grounds for a nice friendship. And when you do see her in school after, don't act like nothing happened (like what usually happens, as you mentioned ). Be the first to take the extra step to be friendly, but don't smother. Inivte her to lunch with your friends, walk home together (if you do), little things to share your company. The few moments of closeness you mentioned, I'm very sure she remembers that.

 

Good luck!

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Thank you for all the replies.

 

Well I went to visit her… but her mother told me that she didn’t live at home anymore. Anyway she gave me the directions to her apartment; it wasn’t a long way to go. I knocked on the door... She didn’t just look a little surprised when she opened and saw me there. I asked if I could come in. There was silence, it really felt like ages until she finally said okay and let me in. I seated myself on her sofa and she asked me why I had come. I said “to apologise.” She didn’t say anything so I continued: “I want to apologise for not having been so nice to you.” And she still didn’t say anything; I have no idea what she was thinking. She has kind of intimidating eyes (green I think but at times they look almost yellow). I was getting pretty nervous (I was nervous before too but now I was really nervous) and I didn’t want her to see that so I quite bluntly requested to know if she forgive me. “I don’t know, I have to think about it”, she said.

 

Now I think I probably should have written a letter instead because I really made a fool of myself…, especially as I started to cry, I couldn’t help myself. She got a bit distressed seeing me like that and tried to bribe me with some cookies she had made. She told me she didn’t hate me but she probably only told me that to get me stop soaking her sofa. I felt really embarrassed for having her see me cry like that and as she sat beside me I was getting very self conscious too so I said that I had to go as my parents probably were waiting for me to come home (which was a lame excuse I invented).

 

So it didn’t go so well… She seemed quite cold and reserved, at least until my crying incident, and I hardly said any of the things I had planned.

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What you did sounds very good to me. You got out the important words, you said what needed to be said, and you probably seemed very sincere as you were emotional.

 

Now when you see her, say hello or hi and try to be nice. It will take time for anything to be happen between you as far as friendship, and it may not. But you did what you could have done.

 

Nice job.

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Thanks for the encouragement, it really helped.

 

Yesterday at school I said hi to her and she said it back and the rest of the day we giving each other quick looks. I didn’t say anything more to her that day as I didn’t want to seem clingy. Today at school I talked to her a bit longer. I jokingly asked her if I had scared her when I come to visit her. “I wasn’t exactly expecting you to come and see me,” she said. I said: “Did you think that I had come to murder you?” “Well I couldn’t find any logical reasons to why you would visit me so I thought that maybe you wanted to criticise my apartment,” she said.

 

She seemed a bit guarded toward me. I looked down and told her that I in reality always wanted to be her friend, that I began teasing her to punish her because I felt like she had rejected me and it later became as a habit to me. I felt very vulnerable by exposing myself like that so I kept looking during the whole time. When I looked up at her again she seemed uncomfortable, I guess she didn’t know what to say so there was an awkward silence for a while. She then explained that back then when we were kids she just wanted to be by herself during the school breaks because she never could be alone when she was at home (they are eight children in her family).

 

Now I am feeling very happy, unnatural happy and yet alarmed. These three latest days I haven’t be able to concentrate on anything because I end up thinking about her. In my stupidity I thought that my weird feelings would go away if I just apologized to her but it is almost like if they have gotten worse instead. The only thing I am able to think about is how it will be the next I see her, time doesn’t seem to go fast enough. It’s not normal; it must be something seriously wrong with me. Maybe I should just avoid her so I don’t give fuel to my twisted obsession with her.

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“Well I couldn’t find any logical reasons to why you would visit me so I thought that maybe you wanted to criticise my apartment,” she said.

 

I think underestimated how mean you have been to this girl, LOL.

 

Nice going. Props to you for daring to wear your heart on your sleeve. I can imagine how overwhelming it must have been for you. I don't think it's weird to feel a certain high about it. Not only are you on better terms with her, you also found out it wasn't personal why she didn't want to be your friend, after all these years. I think that's a huge (insecurity) load off your back. Indulge in the fuzzies.

 

Well, now that you got that out of the way, give it some time and a little space to let this new development sink in, for both of you. Maybe it's a crush, maybe it's just an emotional challenge for you, give yourself time to adjust so you can weigh it properly before doing anything you might regret. For her part, her lifelong tormentor's now a friend, give her time to digest this.

 

In the meantime, keep it up, the friendly rapport. Don't lose the momentum. If you think you won't be able to control yourself from acting weird around her, keep your meetings brief, but warm. I think the more you get used to being around her, the easier it will get. Hopefully, LOL.

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I think underestimated how mean you have been to this girl, LOL.

 

LOL. I’m lucky that she hadn’t decided to hate me for the rest of her life for all the mean things I did.

 

Yesterday I talked to E for a while, just having a normal conversation. I thought about inviting her home but I didn’t, maybe I’ll do that next week instead. I am a little worried about this guy B who I mentioned in my first post. He’s trying to smooth talk E all the time; I hope she won’t fall for it. She seems totally oblivious of his flirting (or maybe she is just playing oblivious). He’s a real playboy, he has already slept with two girls in the class and he is flirting with everyone, me too.

 

Now I am trying to figure my sexual orientation, I’m 19 and feel like I should already have figured that out long time ago but I never gave it much thought before. I brought up homosexuality as a subject to my mother. She said she knew people who had children that had a gay phase, that is was generally something passing. That they think that they are in love with somebody of the same gender but it’s really fake love and when they fall in love with somebody of the opposite gender they fall in love for real and feel the difference. She consider homosexuality as a learnt behaviour, that people makes themselves gay by bad influence. She thinks that lesbians are intimidated by men and that they date other women to feel more secure but that their relationships can never last as they get tired on each other because people of same gender are to alike to maintain any sexual chemistry for a long time. I know that I shouldn’t listen too much on what she says… I think my mother is getting worried about me now.

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Nice to hear you're getting along so well now.

 

I think my mother is getting worried about me now.

 

LOL! If yours is anywhere like mine, give it a couple more years for their specualtion to snowball and, eventually, it can become amusing how you can push their buttons, LOL. Don't worry about being 19 and not have figured it out yet; I'm ten years older than you and not any more certain. What I just tell myself, don't go after the labels too much (altho it helps, I guess) -- it doesn't really matter-- what would say the kind of person we fall for will be the person we fall for, so until then, it's open season, heh.

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Well my my mother has a tendency to get too worried. I should have guessed that all went to fine to stay that way. I invited E to my house to see a movie (E has no TV so we couldn’t see it at her place). When we stepped in through the door my mother asked me if the person with me was E, I said yes. My mother gave E a hostile look and ordered me to come to the kitchen with her. I said to E that she could wait in the living room as long. In the kitchen my mother showed me a silly poem I had written about E that I didn’t have in mind to show anybody ever. She said she found it by accident when she was looking for a book she had forgotten in my room. I know she lies as I had hidden it in the bureau between other papers, she wouldn’t look for her book there. I said it was a poem about friendship but she didn’t believe and said she didn’t want me to see E again.

 

Me: “She hasn’t done anything.”

Mother: “You call it nothing striving to convert a nice girl like you?”

Me: “She hasn’t tried to convert me to anything.”

Mother: “She has bad influence on you. If you relate with gay people you can turn gay too.”

Me: “How can you be sure that she’s gay?”

Mother: “Well isn’t she?”

Me: “She never said she was.”

Mother: “But she sure looks like one. Has she touched you in inappropriate places for you to begin to question yourself?”

Me: “NO!”

 

My mother didn’t listen to me and she went out to the living room where E was and said: “Out! I don’t want you in my house. If you ever return here I’ll send the dog after you.”

E just said okay and went out through the door. My mother didn’t want me going after her but I did it anyway and E asked me what I had told my mother about her and I said nothing.

E: “Hate at first sight right? Come on tell me. You said I had louses or something?”

Me: “No, I never said anything about you.”

E: “She knew my name so you must have at least mentioned me, apparently with something shocking enough to freak her out.”

I don’t think I ever seen her as crossed before, she didn’t bother to hide it as she usually does.

Me: “I promise that I have not.”

E: “You make up things about me and afterwards you won’t even admit it.”

After she said that she just turned and walked away.

 

For the one time I am innocent this happens, she won’t believe me. I have humiliated myself in front of her for no good at all because now she hates even more than before. I don’t know if to get angry or just cry. I’m getting this urge to do something really nasty to her, but I’ll control myself. I guess I will just ignore E for the rest of the term. It would have been better that I never had bothered myself trying to befriend her. My mother has realised now that she went overboard and apologized but that doesn’t help me much.

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Wayfara take the poem and show it to E. Explain that your Mother found it and jumped to conclusions (put 2 + 2 together and came up with 5), and that she wouldn't believe you when you told her the truth. Also tell E you're having problems trying to work out who you are.

 

I'm sure E is a lesbian. She told you when she took you into the classroom tha she wasn't interested in guys. She never said she was just not interested in B. Think about that day again and I'm sure you'll see she's a lesbian too.

 

By swallowing your pride and admitting to E about your confused feelings I'm sure she'll understand and forgive you. She's already been in that situation herself.

 

Please take this chance to sort everything out. She'll know you care or you wouldn't be so persistent.

 

Good luck

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You weren't exaggerating when you said your mom can get too worried. What a piece of work when she wants to, to toss a guest out of her house. Sigh. Sorry that happened, and just when things were starting to go well.

 

At least your mom admits that she overreacted, that means she's amenable to make up for it when E comes over again. Actually, if I were your mom, I'd send a basket of something over to E's house as a way of apology, asap. Or invite her for a special lunch. Do you think she'll do this? Make her. The way she treated E was pretty appalling.

 

Are you close to your mom? If you are, I'd suggest you tell her your story (uh, the friendship part only ), how you've been mean to her all these years and that you two just cleared up this recently and now you're trying to set things right-- so that she'll understand the sudden hanging out with E and why you go out of your way to be nice to her. And that would make her be extra considerate as well.

 

Now, about E, I agree--show her the poem (it is platonic in tone, right?). Go to her place, don't do this in school. Be honest, but choose your words carefully. Tell her your about your mom's paranoia and how she apologized after. I don't suggest you talk about anything about yourself (about your orientation crisis), I don't think this is the time for it. Just say your mom has this homphobic paranoia, but stress that she apologizes for the way she bahaved. Tread carefully around the issue that she might be gay; if she's not, she'll either laugh it off or get extremely pissed off (as you said, she's very prudish).

 

Don't give up. I know you've already put so much of yourself out there, but understand how E must be feeling now. She's not sure whether she was right trusting you. In the end, if she doesn't forgive you, at least this thing closes cleanly, knowing you didn't talk bad about her. If she forgives, then great.

 

Go fix this! You've already done so much, stick it out.

 

BTW, for what it's worth, though she might be, I'm not fully convinced she's gay. She can be asexual as you said or just tomboyish, esp. if her numerous siblings are boys. Not that this should matter for now.

 

Good luck!

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Thank you for the pieces of advice. As you may have notice I’m quite bad at realising what’s the best thing to do. LOL

 

I talked to my mother. She was quite shocked by the things I told her that I had done to E. She was like: “You’re such a nice girl, why would you do that?” Now she has bad conscious for her own behaviour but is still worried about me hanging out with E as she thinks it’s possible that E may be a lesbian in the closet just waiting for a moment to attack me (like she would do that except in my wishful thinking). Anyway she says that E can come and visit us and that she even can bake a cake when she does.

 

I went to see E, I knocked on the door but she wasn’t at home. I was just going to leave and when I turned around she was there right in front of me, just coming home. She was the first one to talk. She said she was sorry about getting angry at me. She still thought I had made up some horrible stories about her to my mother but that I have right to do that if I wanted. She said in a reserved manner something like: “What you say to your parents is none of my business.” Then she took a note pad she had bought out of her bag and gave me it as a present.

 

She invited me in and I explained things for her. (Not about my own confused feeling, I think it would be too much, nor did I show her the poem, even if it was platonic she might have got the wrong impression and anyway I had already burnt it up). On the whole I said that my mother is homophobic and that she thought she was gay.

E: “What!”

Me: “But she has apologized now, she knows that she overreacted.”

I told her what my mother had said and I let her melt it down before I continued.

Me: “Well are you…?”

E: “Gay?”

At first she looked a bit annoyed but then she told me that I wasn’t the first one to ask.

E: “I wonder why they would think that. I’ve never talked about girls nor had a girlfriend.”

Me: “So you’re straight.”

She smiled.

E: “I guess I am.”

 

She proceeded to tell what she thought about love and stuff like that. She thinks love is something dangerous, something you better avoid because it makes you do crazy things, that her mother always goes crazy every time she falls in love. (Apparently her mother is looking for a new guy all the time and has a different father to each of her eight children.) That all love eventually end, fade away and for that reason not worth the price. She then looked at me and said that I shouldn’t take her seriously as she has a bad perception of love and just didn’t want it for herself. That she was ignorant as she never had been in love and that love maybe could be wonderful (but it didn’t look like she really thought that possible).

 

E: “But you know what it’s like, you have a crush...”

When she said that I turned red, I almost thought she had figured me out (I must have looked like a tomato).

E: “On B right?”

Me: “… I’m… I’m over him.”

E: “You still look angry whenever he talks to me.”

She said it is B who starts all conversations and that she can’t be rude to him or he would tell on her to her brother as they were best friends.

 

So she isn’t gay… I kind of assumed this earlier. There were rumours and some of the classmates confronted her about it and she denied it. They first didn’t want to believe her because of her lack of interest in boys and she basically said that she lacked interest in girls too, that she just never got crushes.

 

I’m sorry for this long post, I need to practice to use less words.

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The post was very easy to read so don't apologise for it being so long.

 

Well my gaydar definitely wasn't working. Since she's got a very bad role model in her Mother she maybe hasn't even considered what sexuality she is because all she sees is trouble? I expect one day you'll find out if you remain friends.

 

Let us know how the meeting with your Mother goes this time.

 

Good luck

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a lesbian in the closet just waiting for a moment to attack me (like she would do that except in my wishful thinking)

Oh my. If your mother only knew who might do the converting, lol!

 

E: “You still look angry whenever he talks to me.”

Hahahaha! BUSTED! You might want to do something about your transparency, lol.

 

Nice, all's well that ends well So I guess you two can hang out again. Hope the next visit to your house proves to be a success.

 

Y'know, after knowing more about her and how she reacted, now I'm leaning towards "hm, she might be gay after all" but I'm just reading your words so... lol, gaydar!

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Thank you for all the replies.

 

Oh my. If your mother only knew who might do the converting, lol!

 

Lol, luckily she isn’t any good at telepathy.

 

You might want to do something about your transparency, lol.

 

Yeah, need to practice on the poker face, lol.

 

Y'know, after knowing more about her and how she reacted, now I'm leaning towards "hm, she might be gay after all"

 

You think?

 

When I saw E at school she was wearing a skirt, first time. When she saw my surprised look she said: “Don’t tease me; these were the only clean clothes I had left.” She seemed embarrassed even though she didn’t show any skin. We talked for awhile, I asked her if she wanted to come over to my house but she didn't seem very keen on meeting my mother again.

 

B is annoying as usual. He started talking to me after school about E. He asked if I had seen something strange about her, I said no. Then he started talking about that he had heard that E never had a boyfriend etc and was curious if I knew anything about it. I said that it probably was true.

B: “That explains why she won’t go out with me.”

Me: “Why is that?”

Then he told me about his equation: female + not girly + no boyfriends = lesbian, but that he would turn her to the “light side” (his words). I’m beginning to dislike him more and more.

 

He followed me until I reached my house. I was hoping that he would get lost but my mother saw him through the window and invited him in and fed him with biscuits and milk. He charmed her quite well and it turned out that my mother knows his mother. After he left my mother has made a load of comments like “Such a nice young man”, “Don’t you think he’s handsome?”, “I think you two would suit each other.” I think she was hoping that he would turn out to be my new boyfriend. I said he was a player and a smooth talker but she just laughed it off. I told her that he was all over E all the time in school but she said “Oh you are just inventing.”

 

She has been preaching to me about my “obligation” to marry and have children, especially to have children, I’m not so fond of kids (maybe I’ll think differently in a couple of years). She thinks it’s my duty to pass the family genes to the next generation, not that she’s saying that I should get pregnant right away but that I should at least get children during my twenties. I was thinking “No way I do that” but she is trying to make me feel guilty as I am the only child. And now she is talking about calling B’s mother!

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If it was you he was saying these things about would you want her to tell you?

 

I hope he's just being mouthy by saying he's going to change her mind and not force her to do anything?

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