Being Single?

[guineapig1607306442]

I need some opinions!

Firstly, I'll attempt to make my long story short. My girlfriend has just broken up with me after over a year together. When we first got together, she had come off a 5 year relationship, but had been out of it for about 6 months. Now, we currently live in the same city and things were going brilliantly until I mentioned that eventually (3 or 4 years time) that I intended to move home. I reassured her that I would like her to come with me, and that if she desperately wanted to stay then I would not leave her.

This is where things started to go wrong - we began arguing over insignificant issues and the relationship generally deteriorated. After 2 months of this, we broke up. I sincerely believe that this was a result of my declaration of my desire to move home.

 

At the time I must admit that I was in agreement with the break-up, as things hadn't been the best between us. Now though, after a month, I have come to realise that this could be the biggest mistake of our lives. I have spoken to my ex about this and promised that I would live wherever she wanted us to, but now she says that she "Needs to be single". She doesn't want me to wait for her, and she is not actively looking for another relaationship, but she just wants some time on her own.

 

She has displayed some natural insecure behaviour (ie regularly asking if I have met someone new etc.), but hasn't expressed any desire to reconcile with me.

 

My question is this - Is it possible to want to be single even if you are with "The One"? Or is it just a polite way of letting someone go?

 

I'm sure in my life I have been single because I wanted to, but I don't ever remember having that need if I was going out with someone I loved.

 

Any opinions would be appreciated!

[simulacra]

I can only answer your question on a personal level. You can extrapolate any points you find relevant to your situation.

 

For me, I would not choose to be alone if I was in love with someone that I felt was the one. If I was in a serious relationship with someone that I saw myself growing old with, I would only gravitate closer towards that person if problems arose in the relationship or if I encountered personal hardships. If that person is supposed to be my partner, I would want to experience everything with him, whether it's good or bad moments. It's just a natural reaction to being close to someone. (For me anyway.)

 

Don't you have days when everything's gone wrong and the one thing you want to do most is to come home to your partner/lover and just be able to have them hold you? Sometimes it's not even about them being able to do anything better about the actual situation or understanding exactly why your day was so crappy. Sometimes it's just the fact that you want them (and only them) to be there for you. They are the only person you need and want at that moment. They are the only person who can make things better for you when everything else is going wrong.

 

There is no such thing as taking a break away from my partner. If I do get the feeling that I need some time to myself, it is often because I feel that he is not paying enough attention to me anyway and that I could comfort myself just as well as he could comfort me. So maybe you're not giving your partner enough attention and they are sensing some sort of abandonment? Sometimes it's ironic that the person you want to be there for you most has no clue. But for me, as soon as he gives me a call or lets me know that he senses something wrong and wants to be there for me, I gravitate towards him again immediately.