missmebaby Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 i am currently in a very confusing relationship. i dont really know what this guy wants from me, i dont know if hes with me for all the wrong reasons, and i dont know whether i should even want to stay with him. let me explain: we've been together now for 4 months. in the beginning he was the most amazing guy ive ever dated. he paid alot of attention to me, called and text messaged me alot, took me out to dinner alot, was always tellling me how much he liked me, and was always treating me good and making me feel like i was the only girl in the world. after 2 months he was telling me he loved me and wanted to marry me someday. he was always talking about the future with me and he seemed so crazy about me it seemed like he was obsessed with me and he started to get a little annoying. but i stuck around because he was such a great guy and he had had 2 very long relationships, never cheated on a girl, has a great job, etc and i thought he was someone i should be with. and i did really end up falling for him. well after about 3 months he started to act differently. he still called me often, but not as much. didnt ask to see me as often, stopped giving me lots of compliments and telling me how much he loved me, and basically paid less attention to me. but it was nothing big or even that noticeable so i figured he was just getting used to me. after about a week of him acting like that i woke up next to him one night at 4:30 in the morning to see him sitting up in bed wide awake. i asked him what he was doing and he said he was thinking about some things. so i asked him what he was thinking and he told me that he was thinking about how hes not ready to get married anytime soon or move in with me anytime soon. he said he wants to wait awhile. it really took me by surprise but i just told him i understood and that was fine. then a few days later he surprises me again by saying he thinks he wants to break up with me. he said that he had a dream about his ex girlfriend and he realizes he misses her and he feels guilty to me for feeling that way. he said he also sometimes feels like he just wants to be single. then later that night he calls me and says that he thinks its just a phase hes going through and the dream just really freaked him out and he does want to be with me. so everything is pretty good after that, a little awkward because i dont really know how to act around him. but i leave for vacation a few days later and im gone for a week. while i was away he called me every few hours, only went out one time with his friends, was always telling me he missed me and was worried about me, and text messaged me "i love you and miss you baby! have fun and come home soon." the night i came home he insisted on coming over when i got home at 2:00 in the morning because he wanted to see me and wanted to just "touch me and hold me." i told him that it was very late and i was exhausted and just wanted to go to bed but he got really mad and said ive been away for so long and i still didnt want to see him, and it must mean that i dont care about him, and he begged and begged to come over even if it was for 5 minutes just to see me. (he lives a half hour away). but i didnt give in and i said i was going to bed and i would talk to him tomorrow. that was 4 days ago and ever since then things have been kind of hot/cold with him. he took me out to dinner everyday since ive gotten home, and once for breakfast. saturday he had planned on seeing me but then called and asked if it would be ok to go away with his friend for the day/night. i said yea whatever i thought we had plans, but go ahead i wont be mad. so he changed his mind and said no i dont really wanna go, i want to see you and its supposed to rain anyways. sunday morning we wake up and hes very touchy and cuddly and apologizes for falling asleep so early last night. then he takes me to breakfast but it acting distant and different and keeps giving me these looks but wont tell me why. then we get home and he wants to go to sleep again so we take a nap for about 2 hours. this time when he wakes up hes very affectionate and just wants to cuddle and kiss me, and somehow we get on the subject of how he always dates younger girls. and he says "yea younger girls arent ready to get married yet, they just want to have fun and thats what im looking for. if i date a girl my own age she'll be begging me to get married after 6 months." i couldnt believe he was saying this because of how in the beginning of our relationship he had talked about marriage and our future all the time. so i said something to him about it and he said "yea guys always get caught up with a new girl in the beginning. but i finally realized it and thought whoa what did i do? and i knew i needed to slow things down. im just looking for someone who wants to have fun and have sex right now." i was stunned that he was saying all this especially because he was always saying i would be his future wife but i just told him thats fine, im not looking to get married soon either. so then takes me out to lunch. when we get back i tell him im going to go home but he begs me to stay so i do and we hang out the whole day and he keeps calling me baby and saying i love you so much, and kissing my forehead and everything is going great. he keeps staring into my eyes and smiling at me and keeps saying thank you for spending the whole day with me, it was kinda nice. then he offers to take my car and use his own money and fill my tank up with gas. when i leave that night he calls me and tells me to look in the glove compartment and in there he left another $20. he said he knows im low on money right now and he wants to help me out and take care of me. really i just dont understand this guy at all, or his intentions with me. one minute hes all about me and the next he seems freaked out and distant. hes almost 25 years old, i thought dating an older guy would be slightly easier but he doesnt seem to know what he wants. another thing that really bothers me about this guy is that there are times when he wants to have sex with me and i dont. we always have sex at least twice a night which i am fine with, but around the third or fourth time it starts to really hurt and i tell him no i dont want to. i dont know if he doesnt take me seriously or what but he usually ends up forcing my legs apart and forcing it in. hes not like really rough with me or anything and ive never been like NO SERIOUSLY STOP, so i dont feel like hes raping me or anything. its possible that he doesnt think im serious when i say no, but i usually say no i dont want to, seriously it kind of hurts and sometimes i try to get away but we always end up doing it anyways because he wont quit. then there have been a couple times when we have had unprotected sex and ive told him "do not cum inside me, seriously make sure you pull out" but he cums inside me anyways and gives me this big smile when hes done like he doesnt expect me to be mad. basically i need some advice as to whether or not to stay in this relationship and what this guy actually wants from me and whether or not we have a future! 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