Totally Speechless

[chris_nos_2007]

So me and my g/f of 2.5 years just broke up on Thursday. It hurts so incredibly bad. She broke up with me saying she just wants her freedom right now and to be single and just concentrate on other things. I was doing ok because I thought we would get back together because it felt like we werent broken up but like we just hit a bad patch in the road. However last night (we work together at a restaurant) we were working and she kept flirting with the guys there and I basically got all emotioanl and depressed and talked to her. She said that she is single now and that she doesnt regret that decision. She said the relationship was not good, we never hung out because she never made time, and that we just started to fight everyday. The reason we satrted fighting so much was because I think she started to lose interest and started pulling away so I started chasing her more and I guess nagging at her that we never see each other. The breakup still seemed to come out of nowhere tho. Even just that week we still talked about serious stuff and all. I have my senior prom in 2 weeks and I gues were still going together. Im just extremely hurt by this whole situation and cant seem to get her off my mind.

[robowarrior]

Awww *robothug* , i think that you should never go into a relationship expecting it to work out, reality is that a woman can pack her bags and leave anyday. It hurts like hell, but you need to respect her decision and free wil, you see you can love someone but you cannot hold them captive like a prisoner, you don't own someone you can only love them.

[jengh]

Chris, I'm really sorry. As much as you care for her, the feelings weren't reciprocated and, though you may not want to hear this, you're better off without her. You'll find someone who will put just as much effort into the relationship and realize what you'd been missing out on.

I'd seriously reconsider going to prom with her. That's just going to majorly complicate things... but that's my opinion.

[Goldfish6888]

Chris

 

Sorry to hear that you have broken up - especially at senior prom time. Its an absolute killer and every waking minute she is probably be in your head.

I would avoid going to the prom with her, if I could - but if you have to - as it is so close now, treat her as a friend but at a distance and certainly I wouldn't try any romantic moves!

 

What she needs now is space. Nagging and laying guilt trips on your ex won't win her back. Often we drive people we love away, because we want to be close when all they want is want freedom and space - its a tightrope and balancing act- sometimes.

 

She probably isn't ready for the relationship you want now - so why not find someone who is? You are young and have your whole life ahead of you!!

 

Now is the time to replace her with other interests - other things you neglected while you were dating her.....

 

go find your dreams and the woman of your dreams.

 

Your ex may not have been ready for you....but she will probably come knocking back on your door, when she sees you've pulled away and are happy without her, living a full life!

 

In the meantime, be friendly and nonchalant with her - she is the one who has lost out!!

 

Hope you enjoy your prom...and post when you need to....

[midnightrambler]

i broke up with a girl before going to a friends wedding. I found a different date and had a great time as well as ticcking the old gf off

[Orlander]

So sorry to hear Chris. It stinks that you work with her too. Can you get a different job? No use in putting up with her constant flaunting of her freedom to flirt while around you.

 

Be the bigger person right now and give her space. Also, begin to consider how instituting No Contact might work for you.

 

 

Orlander

[chris_nos_2007]

Thanx for all the support guys it means so much. Ya im def. going to prom wit her still. It to soon to go wit someone else and i dont wanna go alone. I wont let her ruin my last prom...plus we werent just a couple we were best friends and so i still want to be there wit her for this. Well i see her at school and everything and its hard but i just try to keep busy. A couple times yesterday she like bumped into me on purpose at my locker and smiled and then she like was trying to make eye contack with me wen i was leaving to say bye. I dunno im just going to continute to stay busy and just see wat happens its hard but ill be ok

[chris_nos_2007]

So ya havent technically really talked to the ex bout anything until yesterday at school. She came up to me in the hall and said that we needed to go get the flowers for prom. I said I could just go order both of them and she could just pick mine up that way i didnt see her. She said ok and walked away a few minutes later she had to pass me to go to her class and someone said hey to me sao i said it back and she turns around and says what? and i was like o i wasnt talking to u and i was like wait do u have a pencil i can borrow so i borroed that and a calculatoe cause i was in a hurry and couldnt find mine. After that class she found me in the hall and I gave her her calculator but she said keep the pencil. Then she asked if i was looking forward to prom and i said ya...r u? She said she was nervous because she doesnt really like to dance and she doesnt wanna see me dance with other ppl??!! Wat lol she broke up with ME. I just gave her a o please look and walked away. That nite she passed me in her car and then i got a call from her. I picked up tho but didnt mean to wen i saw it was her hung up. She called again and i didnt answer. Later that nite her mom called and said that she knew i hung up on her and she was just going to tell me that they wanted to go help get the flowers to make sure they like them. Ok so today we were supposed to and i called and the mom picked up and said how busy she was and it was arranged to just let the mom and daughter go pick them out wen there is time. The ex was in the background and one of her friends told her that i went to one of our games last nite with a girl from our school..which is true by the way but were just friends. The ex said she didnt care or anything but her mom said if she didnt care she wouldnt have said anything. We then got off the fone. Here i am now haha wondering y this all has happened. Im still the top guy on her myspace. i was told from her mom shes been getting a lot of attention from guys but she hasnt pursued any of it. Lots os text and stuff but she wont respond and stuff. Tonite one of her friends asked her to come meet some guy thatw as texting her adn she said she didnt really want to. So I have no idea wat she is wanting but it seems like not me or anybody else. her mom also said that my ex was showing her pics of the vacation we just went on cause she hadnt seen them yet so. Also one of our mutual friends asked her if we were getting back together and she said maybe i just dont know when. Sorry long post but lots of little things that are on my mind

[chris_nos_2007]

Ok so no one is commenting on this but im updating as i go anyways. So I still have heard nothing from the ex but last nite i got on myspace (myspace is satan) and one of my ex's friends posted a blog and just put random things about a bunch of ppl and said guess who. One of them said "I hate how you let ppl treat u. But u made the right decision and im proud of u" my ex commented on this blog saying that one was her. That really hurt. This is also the girl that my ex has become close frineds with since we broke up a week and a half ago. I sent the friend an email just being nice seeing y shes so happy we broke up and she basically resonded that shes not jumping for joy or anything but she thinks the ex just really needed this right now. Then i saw on the friends page a comment from the ex saying she needs to come over soon because my ex has so much to catch her up on. Immediately im thinking other guys. This hurts so bad. I saw the ex at church today and she walked by and said hey and i smiled and said it back and kept walking. Her dad saw me and greeted me to. I dunno i dont kno wat to think right now. I still think she'll wanna get back together i just ahve no idea wen. We have prom on saturday wish me luck with that

[Krisnakay]

Good luck

[Orlander]

Go to prom and have a good time. I would stay off her myspace page if I were you. It isnt going to do you any good.

 

She needs space right now. Give it to her.

 

Orlander

[chris_nos_2007]

Ya i kno i need to and im going to start....it hurt yesterday tho because she sent a happy easter message to all her friends...even the new guy i think shes talking to but she claims she doesnt like....but not me

[chris_nos_2007]

I ended up sending her a happy easter message instead be the bigger person here....cause i kno she didnt just forget she has me as the top guy friend on her myspace still

[Krisnakay]

How do you know she sent that message to all of her friends?

[chris_nos_2007]

I officially am at the lowest point of the breakup. I found out the guy i suspected she was talking to was at her house on saturday. I of course called her tonite and said i knew and she sounded like uhhhh about it and she basically said were single now and my fone disconnected. I tried calling back and she rejected call, tried one more time and no answer. This is sooo sad. She has doen this once before. We break up, she claims she doesnt like guy, gets with guy, doesnt work out, comes back to me. Last time anyways. I read a message that was sent to a mutual friend of ours and it said that she still misses talking to me soemtimes. That she knows this is just wat she needs right now and there were some issues in the relationship..As for the new guy they are just talking and thats it...and the guy knows she is healing right now. Y would she try and heal and be talking with someone already? Rebound?

[Jess...]

Y would she try and heal and be talking with someone already? Rebound?

 

Not neccessarily. Here's my experience: I talked to one of my guy friends for months after my breakup. There were no romantic feelings, I wasn't trying to get with him or anything, he wasn't either, we just talked. A lot. I just needed a guys perspective sometimes, and felt I could trust him. I couldn't talk to my ex, so I talked to my friend, and I talked to him every time I wanted to talk to my ex, so that I didn't break down and make a fool of myself and pour my heart out to my ex. And he really helped me through it. There has never been and will never be any romantic inclination, he's just a friend that helped me through a very tough time.

 

Maybe she just needs a guys perspective. Even though she broke up with you. Maybe she just wants/needs a friend. You never know what's going on inside someone else's head.

[Krisnakay]

She has done it once before and she is doing it again...Chances are this new guy won't work out...and where will she go?Back to you?You deserve better than to be her fall back guy right?

[chris_nos_2007]

Ya ive thought all the way accross the board on this one. He could just be a friend because I kno there are some things she doesnt like about him and i kno she doesnt want to get involved with Anyone right now. It just makes me sad because im the one she completely ignores except for a hi in the hallway. She didnt even write me a happy easter message so i did. Then I kno who this guy is and i kno he isnt known to stay with girls very long. I dont think theyd work out if they gave it a shot. I just hate knowing the fact shes already having guys over. Liek i just picture him over there and think thats where i was just 2 weeks ago. Hes prolly doing the same things, sitting in the same spots, bla bla. I still miss her so much. I have so many ppl telling me everyday that they have been talking to her about it. I dunno if this is going to do anything but i just have a lot of friends and they want to see us back together. I just hope it doesnt push her away more...i dont tell them to talk to her so. O well i just wish so much i could just go back in time and work this out

[chris_nos_2007]

So i found out today my ex is going to this new guys prom with him as well.....this is the most heartbreaking news thus far. I also kno she is going to visit another guy she used to talk to out of town. I had a talk with her today at school for 30 min. and she basically said that she just wants to be friends right now, she does want to go to prom with me, she encourages me to see other girls, and wen asked if she thought wed ever be back together she just said that she doesnt kno. Not right now and not anytime soon. She still says im her best friend and shes not going to deny she doesnt love me or act like i never existed. She said who knows sometime down the line she might run into me and all those feelings may come flooding back and we may get back together. She just said that we just foguht to much and it wasnt working out. I finished with im not ready to say goodbye....she said its not goodbye its just see ya later. Im still so sad from this. I almost am certain to that if this new guy doesnt work out she will come back....i dunno wats going to happen tho and this is one of the worst pains ive ever experienced

[chris_nos_2007]

Today i am deciding i can do better. I am fed up with feeling this way and for the way she is treating me. Even after the breakup she is still lying to me. This shows a huge character flaw. Her words have cut through me so deep and i just cant take thinking about them anymore. I kno theres someone out there that wont want to hurt me and lie to me. She wont treat me like this anymore. Wen her and the new guy dont work out im not gonna be waiting with open arms like last time.