heartbroken32377 Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 I am having some major marriage issues and last night everything came into full swing and I don't know what to do. My wife and I have been married for 3 years. I knew from the moment I met her that she would be someone special to me and she is by far my best friend. My problem is that I was a jerk for many years as I never thought I was good enough and thought she was going to cheat on me. I never realized I was like this until last year when I made a big scene in public and we almost broke up than. In the course of this, I found that she had been talking to another man to the tune of over $2,000 in cell phone charges. Obviously I freaked as she was freaking about my flipping on her in public. I know the other guy and I had my wife's story checked out (that they were only friends). I guess it would have been easier had they been more, but the guy is very happily married and I guess he just offered her an ear when she needed it. In any event we decided we needed counseling so we started, however the counselor did not want to see us together, she wanted to see us each separately. I think everything went well and some major things got worked out and I was told I needed to make some serious changes and she was told she needed to make some changes. We both felt OK so we stopped going, never progressing to the point where we would see the counselor together. After about 3 months I kind of fell back into being a jerk here and there because I was not getting the support from my wife and I felt like I was working hard and she was not. Well we went along for about 6-7 months OK. Getting along sometimes, but other times not. We also very rarely make love. In paying my most recent cell phone bill I see she had been talking to this guy a little more again. Now they have spoken throughout, but not a ton. Now there were instances that she would call him before me and text him before me. So I blew up on her. Again, I checked it out and she never did anything sexual with this guy, and in fact I don't think he would. But, I told her it was wrong and she agreed and again she has been OK with it and was very sorry. But we had a big fight last night and she said that she did not know if she wanted to try and make our marriage work because she does not feel the same way about me anymore, alot of which has to do with how I was years ago. But don't marriages have hills and valleys? I don't think every married person has the same feelings throughout every year of a marriage as they did when they first got together. I cannot even write words on this page enough to say how much I love her and how she is by far my best friend. If anyone out there has any suggestions please let me know. I told her that we really never fixed our original problems because we gave up on couseling before we even did it (I think we went 3 or 4 times each), and even doing what we did garned us many months of happiness. I cannot see how anyone can know something is not going to work if they have never really given it a shot. Link to comment
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