Work Collegue Relationships

[ashorreal]

Hi guys,

Generally how do you feel about relationships with work colleagues? I wanna hear some stories.

 

I ask this because I am seeing someone I work with (seeing for 4-5 months).

 

We work very close, like pretty much one desk accross the room...

 

We chat all day, and see each other frequently outside of work. At first it was meant to be kept secret, but now I am fairly certain our whole floor knows, word spreads quickly, which is OK with both of us! I think he is fabulous and we get on great.

 

I've just noticed that, sometimes, there is a little tension at work between us, and also it's hard to remain professional and keep my mind on the job at hand without fantacising about walking over there and ripping his clothes off...

 

[Lily04]

well work relationships realllllllly differ between people generally. I don't find it's easy to generalize as office environments are different everywhere, for each company different dynamic. But it seems like there's major tension here.....why not be open about your couple relationship? if there's no rule against it, and pretty much everyone knows you're seeing each other anyway, then it would seem to be better.....keeping it secret seems kinda silly at this stage i'd think.

[caro33]

I had a relationship with someone in an industry I was in, while my company was consulting to his company. Now I didn't work directly with him, but we ran into each other often and had to pretend we weren't together.

 

When it went pear-shaped I really regretted having that relationship. He tried to get a job at my company, and when that didn't work out he worked in a new business even more directly related to what I did (I shifted industry back to my original area).

 

Now I work in a different organisation again, but we share a small industry and I continue to see him at conferences, see his name on emails etc. Not a serious problem anymore, but uncomfortable.

 

That's not going to help you in your current situation, but it's a key reason why people don't like office relationships. They are seen to (a) detract from work if the couple are too lovey-dovey, or (b) detract from work if it all goes wrong.

 

Having said that, if you conduct yourselves professionally and there is no company policy banning relationships, why not. Just keep an eye out, because some people might want to use it against you one day. You need to make sure your behaviour is beyond reproach - it's a matter of self-protection...

[Lily04]

Right. Just make sure you're acting professionally, and maintaining your work efficiency/productivity and not making anyone feel uncomfortable by making lovey-dovey eyes at each other all day and kissing during recess lol. I worked at an office job before where the two CEOs were ex-husband and wife, it was a relatively small business and it still worked out well... they maintained a friendship and continued managing the company. Their son & son's fiancee also worked there... they tended to give first preference to friends of family. But... at the same time they acted professionally...there would be some jokes exchanged at times but I mean it was a really low-key place so not such a big deal. In more professional office environments I would be more discrete. Check company policy on office relationships, but I would be open about your relationship if possible, just make sure that you act 'friendly' and maintain your work posture. It can be done... I've been in similar situations except where I was dating a professor/TA....and still made sure I acted professionally.