Passive Agressive

[Brooke657]

Today this girl I know told me that I'm really passive aggressive. I was about to get mad at her and then I realized I didn't really know what passive aggressive meant. I've heard of it alot and never thought of myself as passive aggressive. So naturally my first reacation was to google it because that's just what you do when you don't know something (or at least i do...wikipedia

[EvaGina]

from wiki, a few charachteristics

 

Ambiguity

Avoiding responsibility by claiming forgetfulness

Blaming others

Chronic lateness and forgetfulness

Complaining

Does not express hostility or anger openly

Fear of authority

Fear of competition

Fear of dependency

Fear of intimacy

Fosters chaos

Intentional inefficiency

Making excuses and lying

Obstructionism

Procrastination

Resentment

Resists suggestions from others

Sarcasm

Sullenness

 

 

so I bolded the ones I think apply to me... I think anyone can have passiv-aggressive traits

 

I would have been called passive aggressive as a teen, Im sure

[melrich]

Passive aggressive is a sort of catch all phrase that refers to people whose aggression manifests itself in behaviour that is not overtly aggressive.

 

Soo for example, pulling out of a date at the last minute is something that COULD be labelled passive aggressive, hinting to someone that their clothes don't suit them is another potential example.

 

The problem is so much CAN be labelled passive aggressive. But really it is an accumulation of negative activity and behaviour that really determines whether you are a passive aggressive personality or not. No one thing.

 

So if you are a person who is continually negative, continually putting people out, continually creating scenes to get yourself attention etc etc it is possible you could be displaying passive aggression.

 

From you posts I doubt very much that you are.

[DN]

It's about making your problem someone else's problem in a way that makes it seem like it's all their fault.

[Brooke657]

yeah no she definatly got her words mixed up.

[Leonhart]

You know what's neat about passive-aggressive people... (Or the term, rather)? It used to be classified as a personality disorder, but was removed a couple years ago by the APA. So, I guess it's okay to be passive-aggressive now... or something. lol

[Brooke657]

lol I guess so. I still wouldn't want to be something that was once considered a personality disorder.

[Dara]

I think passive aggressive is when you avoid confronting the person you are angry with and just do little things that will bother them. Like not holding the elevator, or "forgetting" to give an important message to them. Or even just being really quiet and angry for a while.

[Leonhart]

Ahh, they have a personality disorder for everything, pretty much. If you look hard enough, you can find ANYTHING in people.

[Brooke657]

I think passive aggressive is when you avoid confronting the person you are angry with and just do little things that will bother them. Like not holding the elevator, or "forgetting" to give an important message to them. Or even just being really quiet and angry for a while.

 

Ok yeah I definatly do that. I never just freak out on someone. I'll do little things like that.

[Karhu]

or give someone the guilt trip, controllling people through their feelings of guilt. and then they think that they have wronged you, and will be constantly trying to make up for it, but they can never keep up with the guilt trip. and on the odd occasion they do something wrong you can say "it doesn't mattre" seeming like a forgiving person, but the tone of voice somehow lets in that it really does mattre, and hit the guilt button so they'll bend over backwards to try to change plans to make it up to you.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

Everyone has given a good definition of what passive aggressive or "Negativistic" is. I think everyone at one time or another is guilty of being passive aggressive. It is true, it is one of the many personality disorders but I would not worry too much about it.

 

I found this definition of what passive aggressive is...

 

"Passive-Aggressive (Negativistic) Personality: People with a passive-aggressive personality behave in ways that appear inept or passive. However, these behaviors are actually ways to avoid responsibility or to control or punish others. People with a passive-aggressive personality often procrastinate, perform tasks inefficiently, or claim an implausible disability. Frequently, they agree to perform tasks they do not want to perform and then subtly undermine completion of the tasks. Such behavior usually enables them to deny or conceal hostility or disagreements."

 

I worked with clients whom have this personality disorder and it is one of the rare ones. I think you are okay.