How should I take it when people won't stop staring at me?

[Rachelle]

This is something that's been bothering me for a while now, I've never mentioned it to anyone before. I catch a lot of people looking at me when I'm out, and if I catch them at it they look away quickly. It happens farily often. Sometimes it's kids, sometimes it's guys sometimes old people. And after they look away it seems to me that they wish I didn't see them look. Cuz after that if our eyes meet a second time they appear to be really uncomfortable. I'm not paranoid, that's for sure. I'd like to know if you think it's just a buch of coincidental glances, or could it be something else?

 

(I get these looks when I'm with my older boyfriend, and also when I'm with friends or even by myself)

[melrich]

Most people get a bit uncomfortable when they make incidental eye contact with strangers.

 

I'd try not to worry about it too much. I guess there is not much you can really do about other people looking at you in public. People like to look at people.

[Rachelle]

People like to look at people. I guess so

[Rachelle]

But what if they look at you several times? that happens to me

[EvaGina]

EVERYONE gets this... dont worry about it

I always get freaked that there is something on my face

 

In a way its vanity, not being insulting, but when you are still 16, you still think that people care about you (random public people, that is).. but the reality is that NO ONE remembers you 3 seconds after looking at you...

 

It gets easier and easier as you get older, in that respect. Its completely normal a hang-over from childhood

[melrich]

EVERYONE gets this... dont worry about it

 

Yes exactly. If you go to Europe you will find "people watching" is a continental sport. It's just natural thing.

[EvaGina]

Yes exactly. If you go to Europe you will find "people watching" is a continental sport. It's just natural thing.

 

I do it here... just sit in town and watch people...

[Rachelle]

People watching as a sport? Sounds like something I'll take up. I feel better about it. Thanks y'all.

By the way. For the record, I'm not vain. I've been told I'm hot, but I've also been called a dog before.

[jengh]

you're a pretty girl. People look at pretty people.

 

Also,if older people are looking at you.. how do you dress? A lot of older people are put off by the way young people dress "these days"...

[EvaGina]

People watching as a sport? Sounds like something I'll take up. I feel better about it. Thanks y'all.

By the way. For the record, I'm not vain. I've been told I'm hot, but I've also been called a dog before.

 

Im not calling you vain as in conceited... its a perfectly acceptable psychological stage that you just havnt grown out of yet. some people never grow out of it.

 

You know how little kids expect you to understand what they are talking about, even if you werent there to see it? its a similar kind of thing.

In fact, from memory (which you shouldnt take as gospel) you ARE at the right age for this kind of thing... figuring out where you are in the world, where you want to go... all that kinda stuff

[EvaGina]

you're a pretty girl. People look at pretty people.

 

(Im going to bring up a kinda off-topic point)

I dont think its "pretty" that people look at. Its additude... you know what I mean. You can pass hundreds of good looking people and not even notice, but pass someone with a bit of spunk and you cant tear your eyes away even if they are ugly

[Rachelle]

I dress pretty normal I think. I shop at underground women if you've ever heard of it. I like casual clothes but i dress up a lot. almost business like I guess. i don't wear what a lot of peeps my age wear. (ones who dress like avril lavigne) I think i wear nice stuff

[Rachelle]

Im not calling you vain as in conceited... its a perfectly acceptable psychological stage that you just havnt grown out of yet. some people never grow out of it.

 

You know how little kids expect you to understand what they are talking about, even if you werent there to see it? its a similar kind of thing.

In fact, from memory (which you shouldnt take as gospel) you ARE at the right age for this kind of thing... figuring out where you are in the world, where you want to go... all that kinda stuff

 

Oh ok. ya, what you say makes sense.

[renaissancewoman101]

I get looked/stared at a lot, probably because I am REALLY small for my age. I just learn to ignore it and deal with it. I think people are just curious about my height.

[Lily04]

It's because you're pretty. Take it as a compliment.

[Rachelle]

I'd like to take it as a compliment, but it makes me uncomfortable. Mostly when guys at school look though. I hate that-you can tell what they are thinking-dirty thoughts.

 

I will take what you said as a compliment though.

[Brooke657]

When people look at me I take it as a compliment especially if it's a guy. If it's some random old dude who seems stalkerish I get freaked out though especially if he looks more then once. Not all guys are thinking dirty thoghts just because they look at you and if they are who cares. I'd rather have people look at me alot then never look atme.

[Leonhart]

There's two ways you can look at it: One, there's something grossly wrong with you. Like the elephant man. When I'm down, I assume this for myself. Or you're extremely good looking. It's up to you; how you see it.

 

Chances are, if that's you in your avatar, I'm willing to bet it's the latter.

 

Are you just fishing for compliments from us? lol

[Rachelle]

LOL hahaha.......hell no. I'm like anyone else-I don't mind mind being told I'm pretty. But I'm not fishing for compliments. I don't mean this to sound offensive, but once and for all yes that's me in my avatar!

 

I know all guys at school aren't thinking dirty thoughts about me. I'm talking about the ones who stare at my boobs or my butt. LOL

[Leonhart]

I only asked once, you know.

[Rachelle]

Sorry, I meant other people. Others have wondered if it's me. I don't know what the big deal is. I can't figure it out.

[poke]

It is not uncommon for girls your age to struggle with body related issues. What you are feeling I think is probably related to that. Having people look at you because you are attractive is something that girls learn to deal with as they become more confident in life. I have friends that are still struggling with similar issues at age 25... and yet others seem to get a handle on it by 18.

 

I would suggest finding an attractive older woman who you trust, and talk to her about how to deal with it. Someone who has had to learn the coping strategies already should be able to stear you in the right direction.

 

Talking about it on here is good too... I only suggest talking to someone in person because this sort of thing sometimes requires changes in body language depending on the situation your in, and that is alot easier to discuss in person.

 

Please dont think I'm saying your doing anything to cause this to happen, or that your wrong in any way. It is just helpful to understand what causes it to happen, and how to both tone it down intentionally... and ramp it up depending on what result you would like to achieve. For instance, if your walking in an unfamiliar area, you might want to draw less attention to yourself than normal. Changing your demeanor or adjusting your body language can help in achieving that. Learning about this stuff can be lots of fun, and very helpful in life. I hope that you can find a way to feel comfortable.

[Lily04]

i think you're overanalyzing all of this. people stare sometimes if they think you're good-looking, othertimes for no reason, just because they're bored or whatnot. don't worry.

[Lily04]

Ok, if people are looking at your butt or boobs, isnt that obvious? Because they find you good looking. I dont know what is there to overanalyze, let alone analyze. By looking at your pose in the picture, I dont think you are shy or anything about sexuality like some people have implied. I think you are just fishing for compliments pretending to be bothered by it all...how do i know that? Because i've been there when I was your age.

 

yeah I totally agree.....just didn't want to come out and say it lol....I was like that too at one time, and mostly due to my own insecurities though.

[Brooke657]

Ok, if people are looking at your butt or boobs, isnt that obvious? Because they find you good looking. I dont know what is there to overanalyze, let alone analyze. By looking at your pose in the picture, I dont think you are shy or anything about sexuality like some people have implied. I think you are just fishing for compliments pretending to be bothered by it all...how do i know that? Because i've been there when I was your age.

So I'm not the only person who was thinking that.