autummleaf Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 hello you all !!....i talked to my husband and he said that he doesn't want to have sex very often because he's probably gonna get bored of this,i suggested going to a sex shop and buy new things and he said ,what's wrong with you? are you crazy? am i wrong? he also says that since his family (parents and bros) who live abroad don't really care about him ( calls or letters) he's depressed and that is affecting him very much and he can't stop thinking about that, is that possible ?? that much?? besides he also says that he's got many responsibilities and he can't relaxed .do you all men feel like that about sex when you've got bills to pay? and i even help him with the bills but when i touch him or give oral to him which i really love while he's watching tv in order to have a great night!!! you know what i mean??.... he says ..0hhhhh..that feels so nice baby! but don't you dare to have sex with me right now because I'm relaxed now!! and if i use a sexy outfit he says " you look pretty"....and that's it!! i even did all the things he asked me for in bed!! and i don't really mind 'cause is my husband and i do love him... and when we make love he doesn't even touch my * * * * or my butt if I'm on top. what would you do guys do if the woman you love kiss you or touch you won't you kiss her or touch her back? we suffered so much to be together, he made so many romantic things for me and was so crazy about sex before getting married.we've been married for two years and he just asked for sex like 4 times!!! ....what can i do to help him ? what do you guys do to feel relaxed? he's abroad now and i wanna have something special when he comes back..what do you suggest?? Link to comment
musicguy Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 geez! i couldn't get bored with sex Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 I think I would look at all the possible causes first: Is he depressed? Is he stressed? Illness? Over-tiredness Children who wake in the night or want to sleep in your bed This is from the Relate website (counselling in England) for couples whose sex life has gone downhill: Is sex the real problem? Counsellors often find that lack of sexual desire stems from a basic dissatisfaction within a couple's relationship. Common problems include: drifting apart and losing touch feeling taken for granted or neglected frequent arguments, nagging problems such as money worries, family conflict, work-related stress affairs Problems like these need working through, since only when you feel better about your relationship is there a chance of your sex life improving. Try talking with your partner about how to make things better. Counselling can be very helpful if your problems seem too daunting to tackle alone. Seems like a not bad place to start to me - there has to be something going on with him, because his reasoning sounds odd to me. Hmmm. Good luck! Link to comment
askauntamy Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 I don't think he's afraid of getting bored. I think he either doesn't want to have sex at all or there is something going on. Perhaps he is depressed or stressed. I think it might be best to see a counselor together and work through this. Link to comment
Dr.Amore Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Well it could be alot of different things. To be honest though he is probably just of it. Thats the same way i felt with my ex for years. She was taking the depo shot and im sure part of the lack of sexual desire came from that. She was basically the type of girl that liked to get . After time i got bored of it and didn't want to have sex that often. People get bored of one another after time and the sex is never as good as it was when you first date. You doing all those little things for him, the outfits, oral, try new things, and he is still kinda avoiding you. That is a bad sign coming from a man and you should have a talk with him. Plus being a man after getting married things change a mans brain thinks differently. When my ex asked why i didnt really sleep with her much i would lie and say im not in the mood. Thats what most guys do when they dont want to admit there bored of the sex. I did open up to her about the sex thing and was honest saying things need to change. Well make a long story short sex in the beginning of most relationships is usually the best, after time 1,2,3 years you basically done every position, toys, outfits and it just becomes like eating the same cereal everyday. Just sit down and tell him how you feel cause men do love sex and so do women. To me and don't quote me on this sounds like he is just flat out bored. I don't in anyway mean to hurt you by saying that but it pretty clear. Link to comment
rocklovinggirl Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 I agree.... mostly what needed to be said was stated above and yes, his reasoning is odd! It is hard to get tired of sex when you do not have it that often. You def. need to let him know it bothers you. If he cares about the relationship he will try to work something out. Sex is not everything but when your partner does not want it, it can make you feel unattractive, etc. Voice this to him. You need to find out why he does not want sex and what can put him in the mood. If he really insists that he still feels the same about you and is just not into sex...he could be being honest and then you have to decide just how important sex is to you and possibly resort to a lot of masturbation. Good luck!! Link to comment
autummleaf Posted April 9, 2007 Author Share Posted April 9, 2007 i had been so concerned about my husband's sexual drive but yesterday he came back from visiting his ill dad (ill 2 months ago, sexual problems since 2005) and he asked me desperately for having sex and it was so so good because i felt so desired again , he did all the wonderful things he used to when we were just boyfriend and girlfriend we had such a great time, we made love twice which is very unusual for us in a day,i put on a sexy outfit and it really worked and i had the best orgasm ever !!!!! I'm so happy having him around again but I've just realized that i usually get too horny even when he kisses me or just touch me!! o when i feel his perfume, it even does not matter if he hasn't had a shower.is that common? we're always kissing or hugging to each other or saying "i love you" but as all you know i was worried about the "never in the mood thing" and MAINLY FOR his weird reasons for not having sex! I've talked to him from the bottom of my heart and explained my reasons for being concerned he understand and says that he thinks that is unfair to judge a man who is not so crazy about sex , despite the fact this men is responsible, cleans up, cooks,no drinking(just socially) no smoking, never says no to my requirements, pays the bills, doesn't go out with friends,do the dishes....and since we're Latin Americans that's very unusual for the "MACHO THING CULTURE" . he says that is unfair to judge a man who's got an "A" in everything but sex!! like if it was a fairly tale where the prince is: * handsome * rich * skilled lover * muscular * cleans up * cooks ETC ETC....... NO DEFECTS!!! HE SAYS ; do still women believe that life is a fairy tale?? __________________ Link to comment
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