kirika Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 this gets a little confusing but i will do my best because i need help so i dated this guy, JT, and he was a great boyfriend.. but i took him for granted.. because one day he acted distance, and i was kind of afraid it was my fault but he assured me i made him feel better. but his emotion effected the way i felt and i thought "well if he's guna be moody then i'm just not going to talk to him until he firgures out what his problem is" later that day my said "hey how are you and JT?" and i said "i'm bored with him, he's being really moody today and i'm over it..." so she goes off and tells JT what i said and that day we broke up... then it hit me i wanted him and i didnt want to play games , and i reacted stupidly... but i guess we dont know what we got till it's gone right? so later on he got a new girlfriend but he still flirted with me.. i avoided it though.. but all the emotions hit me agian ](*,) when one day he kissed me on the forehead.. and he said "i can't kiss you on the lips, so i'll kiss you on the forehead".. then one day someone was really gettin on my nerves and he wouldnt shut up and i kept yelling at him.. then JT stands up and says "mess with her agian and you'll have a problem with me ok?" and so the guy left me alone.. and another day a guy yelled at me because of something my friend did and JT stood up to him and told him to stop over-reacting to something i never did to him.. and i was really happy but then i realized he has a girlfriend so i suppressed all my feels for him so then his best friend, Bryan, and me had class together and we talked alot and joked around.. and i'm very ticklish so it's a big joke for everyone to tickle me.. so Bryan starts to tickle me in class i was trying to stop him so i grabbed his hand and he just sat there... and then i pulled my hand away.. and we sat there kind of weird.. then one day i was extremely tired so i leaned on him to sleep and he slept too.. then one day we were walking and we had to go to different classes so when we were walking away from eachother he kissed me.. and i was shocked.. because the first person i thought about was JT then i thought "well if i can be happy with Bryan then why not?" but appearently im wrong.. Everytime me and Bryan are together JT is there.. and everytime we kiss JT says something to make us laugh or stop... you know just something to ruin the mood. Then one day after we saw a movie my friend Jessica was with all of us.. and she had never met JT so he asked her what she thought of him from my describing him, and she said "immature" and i was shocked .. and then JT says "well 3 months ago i was the best boyfriend, so thats kind of odd for her to say im immature" then Jessica said "she didnt say you're immature, i said you're immature because of the things we talked about". she was meaning the way he ended the relationship and the way he still acted after we were broken up.. Then when it was just me JT and Bryan all JT kept mentioning was times when me and him dated and Bryan was kinda of mad... the sad thing is now Bryan is telling me now "you are the most beautiful girl i've ever dated. im falling for you like a ton of bricks and i dont want to get up. everytime we arent together i think of, and i always think of the next time im going to see you and i cant wait. i wont ever hurt you or make you cry, unless i make you so happy that you couldnt stop yourself from crying tears of joy. i cant say i truly love you right now but i deffinitally like you alot. your beautiful inside and out and i hope we last." now your asking whats wrong with that? well we have only been dating for 2 and 1/2 weeks... and that scares me that he's always thinking of me.. and evrytime i say something about JT he changes the subject, even if im only talking about something retarted we ALL did together. Plus i see when im around JT and Bryan there's tention in the air, and not matter what i want them to be friends sense they are so close. like one day we all just took the bus to the beach and we were all sittin in separete seats, then the person sitting by JT got up and a bunch of people where getting on so i asked JT if he wanted me to sit with him and he was like "yesss i dont want some random person sitting with me ." so i sat with him and we were talking about stuff like how my dad really likes JT and how JT wanted to hang with my dad.. then i felt something and i was thinking no no no you cant do this to yourself.. then i looked back at Bryan and he was looking at me and i was smiling at him to keep my mind off JT.. then i met JT's girlfriend and i was happy to see JT smile like that, but i couldnt help but think "what does she have that i dont?" but i know shes beautiful and smart.. then i started picking myself appart thats when i realized that is a problem... soooo i love my boyfriend's bestfriend...and it hurts...because most likely if me and Bryan break up i think we all wont be as close of friends.. and i'm pretty sure JT will stay with his girlfriend which is fine, because i want him happy and if he's happy with her then all i can hope is she is just as happy because he's the reason for my pain. im not sure what hurts more.. loving someone i know cant/wont love me (at least i think) or hurting a close friend... so what should i do???? 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