The right thing?

[Twistedwhispers]

I dont know if this is going to be long, but i will try and make it quite short! I have just broken up with my boyfriend of ten months, he was my bestfriend for about 3 years, and i never once saw him in that way but my feelings just changed coz i loved him for the person i THOUGHT he was. at first things were great, we both said we were the happiest we had ever been and i just felt truly happy, i would stay over his house and just lay in his arms, and we would laugh all the time we were together, then things started to go wrong. I cant remember the first time it started to go wrong but it quickly kept getting worse and worse. the first little thing i remember is that he kept talking about his exe's but then when i mentioned one of my ex's he used to go in a sulk....i use to hate the fact he use to talk about them but he did stop doing that when i confronted him about it.

 

There was one night that sticks in my mind, where i was making him a meal and he was staying over mine after work, and then he texted me saying he was just going to his works after party for an hour and he wouldnt be long, so i said oh thats ok just dont be long! but two hours passed.... then two and a half, and i was texting him and asking him where he was but he didnt reply then he just sent me a text saying "your not texting me back so i take it your in a mood with me" even though i wasnt! i was just abit upset, anyway i texted him and then he turned his fone off on me allnight i was distraught! the next day, after constantly foning him he picks up after i withold my number, and he was horrible to me like I had done something wrong! you know where he was the whole time i was sat on my bed sobbing allnight? he was over the road from me! he had slept over this guy thats works with him....right accross the road from me. i couldnt believe it, but still i took the blame and kept saying sorry....god knows why?

 

everytime we had argued and hes done something wrong, i always ended up saying sorry and begging him not to leave me, i cant believe how weak i was. its not asif hes the most gorgeous amazing guy in the world and has everything going for him, its stupid to think i fell for him coz of his personality.....when he was my bestfriend he was such an amazing guy (although i guess i had never known him)

 

The latest reason we have broken up is coz he told me had work on friday night, but i just had a feeling he was lying because he kept changing his story, he said he was going to the pub with the boys from work coz one of them is leaving and then he was going straight to his night job, but i cant explain it i just knew he was lying! the next morning, he went to his day job and i noticed he hadnt took his work shoes that he wears for the night, and i found it really strange. so later on he texts me saying work dont need him after all and thats he up the pub. well i foned him and i said "do u want to meet up for an hour then? coz i wasnt going to see u til monday coz u had work all weekend!" and he was like "oh well id prefer not to, i want an early night, im staying here til 9 then going home." and i said to him that i thought he was only staying an hour and surely he could spend and hour with me seeing i wouldnt see him all weekend? and he just kept saying he just wanted to get home. i didnt think this was nice of him coz i had hardly seen him all that week and he could have spent an hour with me, and also knew the reason he didnt want to meet me was coz he wanted to stay and get drunk with his mates allnight! anyway i told him straight, and he ended up hanging up on me and turning his phone off! so i texted him and said we were over because he just cant ignore me when he wants to and talk to me badly.....Then i texted him again later and i said something like "if you want to finish it u can, but im warning u, if ur going out clubbing and to pubs all the time then i will do the same because im not having it all ur way all the time, so if u want it to be over then u can just say" he just texted me back later saying "u finished it blah blah, hope u made the right choice etc"

Im 5 months pregnant right now but he still treats me this way, he even texted me lastnight saying i am gonna stop him from seeing the baby and thats if it even is his baby! i tell u what though, him saying that was like a knife through my heart. how he can think i would ever cheat on him or anyone else is beyond me, and saying that my baby im carrying isnt even his. i texted him anyway and i just said never once did i say you couldnt see the baby, its your choice not to have anything to with me and the baby, but i hope you can live with yourself. and he hasnt texted back so i guess he really doesnt want anything to do with me and the baby. it hurts that he doesnt want me anymore, but i cant believe he doesnt want the baby either.

It just seems like he was waiting for an excuse for it to be over, he hasnt texted me since and i havent texted him so this is my first proper day of no contact! its been hard but im getting there.....One minute i feel strong and the next i wanna cry. im trying to take my mind off it all by doing things to keep me busy and it does work.

 

Im scared about raising this baby alone but i know i have my mum and dad and in the long run im better off without him, especially now im pregnant i dont need sum1 constantly upsetting me and making me feel worthless. but i do wonder if i have done the right thing? I would be grateful if anyone had any words of comfort or encouragement though!

 

Thanks for reading such a long essay! lol.

 

Hailz

xx

[Lava Rocks]

I've found that some people can be the greatest, most caring person as a friend and be completely detestable as a lover. He's wasn't being a good friend or boyfriend. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now! You're doing the right thing, though, especially as he's acting like a five year old. It doesn't sound like he's made you his highest priority or treated you well of late. Don't let the fact that you're pregnant with his baby allow you to excuse his behavior. You are better off without him and finding someone who will treat you 100% better, both as a friend and a lover.

[bar35]

Wow. That guy is unbelievable. Look don't blame yourself for how he is acting. None of his behavior is your fault. I expect that he got into something that he had no idea about. He sounds like he drinks a considerable amount and that he is running from his responsibilities as a man. You don't need a boy around, you need a man. Boys are fun, boys play fun games and they are seductive, but when the going gets tough it's the men who see it through. This guy, this boy is showing himself to be a coward and a fool. I am so sorry that you are enduring this agony. I am glad to hear that you have family who cares for you. That is so important. Soon you will have a wonderful baby and you will be responsible for her. If you pay attention, dedicate yourself to her you will be a great mommy. From what you have written it sounds as if you have a huge heart so I think that you will be great with your new born. Time will pass and you will grow. This boy of yours is either going to have to put up or get gone because the stakes are quite high right now and he is evidentally not able to play at these stakes. Stay strong for you and your child. We are here for you.

[Hope75]

It sounds like more than anything you actually need to sit and talk face to face with this guy rather than texting each other on the phone.

 

Trust me, I know how easy it is to send email and text these days, but it really devalues a face to face conversation where he can't just shut off his phone- you can see one another's facial expressions, body language, and are compelled to complete a conversation vs. just turning off your phone.

 

He sounds like a jerk- but there are better ways to communicate for both of you.

[ninjabear]

I think

 

you should talk this over with him face to face.I think it's best for you communicate with him personally.

 

Raise your child and teach the child not to become his dad.If you do have the time there are plenty guys out there that don't mind and will treat you as number one.

 

I don't mind if my girlfriend had a baby.I would treat it as it was my children

 

Be happy and smile