_Tiki_ Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I've been noticing a lot of articles lately that say if you have sex too soon with a guy, a relationship doesn't last long. Guys, what is your honest opinion about sex early in a relationship? Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArchToronto Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 ya i think if its too soon, the guy will think you're easy, even if he is a nice and doesn't think that at first. I would say wait at least 8-12 months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
musicguy Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 It really depends on how soon is too soon. There are some relationships that have purely just been sexual and have lasted long to become long term relationships and there have been relationships that have just been short. I guess it all depends on the couple and if they are ready to have sex early in their relationship Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I'm a woman but I think in general there is a bigger risk in having sex too soon - unrealistic expectations, out of proportion emotional attachment (for either gender), the complications of potential pregnancy/STD, the feeling of moving too fast, etc. On the other hand I know couples married for years who had sex the first night they met. I would never but that's because I have no desire to have sex outside of a committed relationship where the man and I know each other well, care deeply for each other and see a future together. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siriana Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I'm not a guy, but I had sex with my bf after 4 dates and we're still together after 8 months. I guess I was giving that vibe of being a virgin lol or something else that might misled him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Locke2121 Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I think there needs to be a bit of a bond there before sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
astaro Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 my last 3 relashionships (2 years, 3 years and 1.8 years) all started with sex at a VERY early stage. i do think that it would have probably been wise of me to wait a little while longer before doing it but i have no regrets and as you can see they all lasted quite a bit of time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shes2smart Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 It depends entirely on the people involved. I chatted with this guy online & on the phone for a couple weeks. Met for a date and had sex on the first date. In other words, I did everything people will tell you is "wrong." That was, oh, nearly 5 1/2 years ago. Our 5th wedding anniversary is coming up in July. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayar Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I always wait... I like being pursued and chased, and sex is one of those things that once you give it over you can't just take back all of a sudden and play all virtuous-like again. I've found the sex to be a ton better when he's worked for it anyway... And without a doubt he's generally agreed. You just don't give him the same completely satisfied conquered feeling (hahaha) if you give it over too quickly, and it's not fair to deny a guy that. In general I like to wait at least 5 or 6 months, but really whenever the guy gets to that point that he just figures whatever, I'm worth the wait (however long it may be) is when I start to think about sex with him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsallgrand Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 Hehe. I don't think it matters, and it really depends on the people involved. In general though, take a check around to make sure the guy actually sees what is going on as a relationship. You know, even if you have been seeing each for 6 months - if he's still not showing that he's into you as much as you are into him, it's pretty safe to say it wouldn't be a good idea to have sex. Making assumptions is what'll kill ya. It's not so much the time that has elapsed as whether the two people are on the same page or not, me thinks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DropToZero Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 ya i think if its too soon, the guy will think you're easy, even if he is a nice and doesn't think that at first. I would say wait at least 8-12 months. See yeah, I used to think that way, but you need to realize, sex isn't a girl giving it up and a guy getting it, it's SEX. It's a 2 person(or more in some circumstances) thing, there is NO giving or getting, there is no EASY or HARD girl/guy, you make that choice to have sex and you go with it. I'm trying to show that, basically...sex is the responsibility of BOTH people, so if you both choose to go at it soon...that's your choice, she's not easy, because if think she is... you as the guy, are too. But that's not how I see it, just showing it in the sense that you look at it. To the original poster, there is no right or wrong answer, I think as long as two people care it's going to mean more though, sex without caring is just kind of like masturbating with another person of the opposite sex(of course some can make it better than that lol), but what I'm saying is...I've had it both ways, and the random hookups don't mean anything. It's hard to kiss some random hookup girl I've been with and make it feel like I care about her, it just won't be passionate, and there needs to be passion to make the relationship strong. Just make sure your relationship doesn't revolve around sex...that should be a key. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 i think if you have sex too soon and it isn't great, any awkwardness (or serious drunkenness) involved and doesn't go well for whatever reason, then the person may be put off by it and think that it is not worth investing a lot of time in... i think the deepest passions are both physical and psychological attraction, so waiting a while can make sex really really hot when it does happen. but some people do have a deep attraction that sparks sex early on, then discover they are attracted for other reasons too... so early sex can cause problems, but at the same time, i don't think it will kill a really genuine attraction where things go deeper than just sex. the other problem with early sex is that there are lots of people out there just looking for quick sex to satisfy physical needs (i.e., quick first date sex rather than paying for a hooker), and they intend to move on to someone else regardless of what you do on the first date, once their sexual itch is scratched and curiosity satisfied. so waiting a while will weed out those who are not really interested in relationships to begin with... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
agent1607307371 Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I think it depends on your attitudes towards sex. And if a guy thought I was easy, I wouldn't be seeing him again anyway. I don't accept the double standard that has women giving something of value up (because frankly, we have more going for us than as a source of sex) and of men being cool when they get laid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cordelia Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 I think for girls, its always a good idea to wait until you get to know each other first. There is no set time limit, just a matter on how comfortable you feel with the person. Having a lasting relationship after sleeping with someone on the first date, is very rare ! If you feel a connection and you agree that you want to continue dating only each other, then what's the rush ? On the other hand, if all you are looking for is a one night stand then go for it but be safe !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegasus Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 girls, be smart with who you pick, and save yourselves for the guy who will wait until the marriage bed. I would just add - sex is only for reproduction purposes and never have one with other intentions. LOL. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Siriana Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 I would just add - sex is only for reproduction purposes and never have one with other intentions. LOL. image removed Ćemo da ga peremo il' da radimo novo? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonhart Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 I would just add - sex is only for reproduction purposes and never have one with other intentions. LOL. Are you serious?! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegasus Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Are you serious?! lol LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mia1207 Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 I think for girls, its always a good idea to wait until you get to know each other first. There is no set time limit, just a matter on how comfortable you feel with the person. Having a lasting relationship after sleeping with someone on the first date, is very rare ! If you feel a connection and you agree that you want to continue dating only each other, then what's the rush ? On the other hand, if all you are looking for is a one night stand then go for it but be safe !! Agreed, it's all about communicating where you stand early in the relationship. BTW I think 6-8 months is a good rule of thumb because it takes at least 6 months after you last had sex for the HIV virus to appear on tests. Plus, what's the rush, if you liked me enough to have sex on by the 4th date, if you really want to build a lasting relationship you'll still want to have sex with me after the 15th or 20th date. It's not about time, it's about timing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altruist Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Save Sex For Marriage Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegasus Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Save Sex For Marriage This is a really good idea - finding out that after being married you two are sexually incompatibile. Maybe divorce rate would go even higher then.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 This is a really good idea - finding out that after being married you two are sexually incompatibile. Maybe divorce rate would go even higher then.... Or, it could be higher if women or men who wanted to wait were pressured to audition (sexually) before marriage and felt resentful going into the marriage. Hmmmm. My parents waited and so far so good - only been 51 years so I guess they're still deciding if they are compatible . . . . . ;-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pegasus Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 Or, it could be higher if women or men who wanted to wait were pressured to audition (sexually) before marriage and felt resentful going into the marriage. Hmmmm. My parents waited and so far so good - only been 51 years so I guess they're still deciding if they are compatible . . . . . ;-) That is why it's so good - you do only what you WANT to do, not what others think you should do. At least if you're a smart enough and appreciate yourself enough. After all this, I would just say - it's pro-choice and every person have to make that choice for him(her)self no matter what we say here in this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
i_love_chocolate Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 To me, I don't recommend having sex on the first date. I like to wait for it but not too long. I think that after 5-6 dates it's appropriate to have sex. I can't believe it when some girls make a guy wait for 6 months! I personally won't be able to do this. Maximum is one month. I had sex with my girlfriend after one month. We are so in love now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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