err...a little help???

[setsuko1981]

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ON robowarrior's response:

"If you expose your heart while its not mutual, you are just opening yourself up for a lot of pain."

 

When he said that, it struck me me really well. That's the mistake that I had done in the past and I think that's the mistake that I'm doing now, with this girl that I'm interested in. This girl in the past has caused me to close my heart on a chance for romance, that is until I saw this other girl that I'm really into now. From what I'm seeing with her and I, she knows that I like her, but she's still on that "getting to know me better" friendship stage and yet with me, I feel like I already opened my heart to her, that it would hurt if I get turned down. I've tried backing down, but nothing seems to work.

 

So my questions are:

 

Is there a cause that makes a person to open his/her heart to another person too early?

How can you prevent yourself from opening up your heart when the feeling is not yet mutual?

[Dako]

How do you know it's not mutual until you express yourself?

If you care for someone and they don't reciprocate, staying silent won't ease your pain, it'll only hide your feelings from them.

I suspect fear of rejection keeps people silently waiting for reassurance.

 

Your first signature quote seems to cover it.

[Scout]

Is there a cause that makes a person to open his/her heart to another person too early?

 

How can you prevent yourself from opening up your heart when the feeling is not yet mutual?

 

I don't know if there is one single cause, but I know in the past when I rushed pell mell into relationships without giving enough to time to really know someone before I handed over my heart, it was typically at a vulnerable time in my life. I was lonely, or insecure, and the new relationship seemed like a lifeline to boosting my self-esteem again - or just satisfying that human need for affection and companionship. In other words, I was impatient to have my negative feelings gratified, so I put the new person/relationship on a bit of a pedestal...before I knew if it was really warranted to do so. I wanted it to be like, so I hurried into it.

 

I guess to answer your second question, once I was really aware of the above, it helped me to check my emotional impulses a bit the next time such a situation presented itself.