numbhead Posted March 31, 2007 Share Posted March 31, 2007 so im sat here 3am on fri night, cant sleep been trying to for 3 hrs. i feel absolutely stupid. i want to slap myself and tell myself to snap out of it! after 4months then my ex comes back into my life, practically saying she wants me bk then after i tell her to think about what she wants, a week later shes off again!... with this fantastic life all set out infront of her! i have gone through a lot since november but i feel like im right bk where i started... we spoke last night and i made sure it was all amicable and friendly... but i feel like i have done her more of a favour than myself... i feel like i have just lifted all of her guilt off her shoulders! i want to be happy for her and get on with mylife but all i find myself doing is thinking about her and her future... its driving me crazy... i dont want to feel like this ..... im not drinking, im not hiding from the pain but the pain will not go away i cant see anyway forward, i cant see any positives, why am i doing this to myself.... i feel like i am stood clinging to a hold at the top of a cliff clinging onto my ex's hand; if i let go not only will she be gone forever but i may lose my balance and fall too! i dont want to stare into her eyes anymore but i just cant let go i know theres nothing you guys can say i just feel like a lost cause, i think im verging on insane... and while im thinking like this i kno she is feeling great, free and optomistic about her life and future... why do i have to come off worse. i dont want to feel pain anymore Link to comment
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.