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so im sat here 3am on fri night, cant sleep been trying to for 3 hrs. i feel absolutely stupid. i want to slap myself and tell myself to snap out of it!

 

after 4months then my ex comes back into my life, practically saying she wants me bk then after i tell her to think about what she wants, a week later shes off again!... with this fantastic life all set out infront of her!

 

i have gone through a lot since november but i feel like im right bk where i started... we spoke last night and i made sure it was all amicable and friendly... but i feel like i have done her more of a favour than myself... i feel like i have just lifted all of her guilt off her shoulders!

 

i want to be happy for her and get on with mylife but all i find myself doing is thinking about her and her future... its driving me crazy... i dont want to feel like this .....

 

im not drinking, im not hiding from the pain but the pain will not go away

 

i cant see anyway forward, i cant see any positives, why am i doing this to myself.... i feel like i am stood clinging to a hold at the top of a cliff clinging onto my ex's hand; if i let go not only will she be gone forever but i may lose my balance and fall too! i dont want to stare into her eyes anymore but i just cant let go

 

i know theres nothing you guys can say i just feel like a lost cause, i think im verging on insane... and while im thinking like this i kno she is feeling great, free and optomistic about her life and future... why do i have to come off worse. i dont want to feel pain anymore

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i know theres nothing you guys can say i just feel like a lost cause, i think im verging on insane... and while im thinking like this i kno she is feeling great, free and optomistic about her life and future... why do i have to come off worse. i dont want to feel pain anymore

 

I know that feeling!! I've had it many times. I sat at home crying over my ex, wondering if he was thinking about me, wondering if he was missing me, and then I hear that he'd been going out to the pubs, with MY friends!! He'd been going out having a great old time with MY friends while i was sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. There's nothing worse...I think the best thing you can do is force yourself to go out. Even if you don't want to. It gives you something to do, so you're not sitting at home alone with your thoughts, and if you see your ex out, you can look like you're having the time of your life without her. The best revenge is living well as they say, and the more you go out and do things, and have fun, the less you will think about her, and hey, you're not going to meet anyone new sitting at home are you?

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ye i kno what you are saying jess,,, i just feel like its deeper than that!

i really dont want to go out, i'll never bump into her as shes over 100 miles away and i really dont feel like meeting anyone or even getting drunk!

 

i look at other women, and i think to myself,,, ye she is better looking than my ex etc etc,, but they all seem like air-brains,,, i really cant be bothered with it all!

 

in the nxt 4 months ive got some real big career decisions to mke aswell, i just cant stop comparing myself to her, why cant i be the one whos happy and has a geat easy life.... i dont kno if youve read my earlier threads but i feel so frustrated because she has everything on a plate!

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ye i kno what you are saying jess,,, i just feel like its deeper than that!

i really dont want to go out, i'll never bump into her as shes over 100 miles away and i really dont feel like meeting anyone or even getting drunk!

 

i look at other women, and i think to myself,,, ye she is better looking than my ex etc etc,, but they all seem like air-brains,,, i really cant be bothered with it all!

 

in the nxt 4 months ive got some real big career decisions to mke aswell, i just cant stop comparing myself to her, why cant i be the one whos happy and has a geat easy life.... i dont kno if youve read my earlier threads but i feel so frustrated because she has everything on a plate!

 

 

I know what you mean. You are lucky that there is no chance of bumping into her!! I wish there was no chance of bumping into my ex, but as he seems to be out with MY friends every weekend, the only way to avoid him would be to sit at home...

 

"why can't I be the one whos happy..." I have thought that to myself over and over. It's so unfair. They go out, have fun, they are "free" whatever. But they are happy without us. That is what kills.

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It's hard to find the ones you really like. It took me years to find one I really wanted to be with but she hurt me in the end. I'm in pure agony as well, knowing my ex is out, having fun with her new boyfriend while I am sitting at home drinking scotch and water watching COPS and chatting it up with me mum.

 

At least I don't have to deal with the agony and guilt knowing I cheat and lost one of the best people to ever come into my life. That has to be an awful feeling. It must be overwhelming for my ex!!!

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I'm in pure agony as well, knowing my ex is out, having fun with her new boyfriend while I am sitting at home drinking scotch and water watching COPS and chatting it up with me mum.

 

haha sorry, but that made me laugh out loud. hang in there. soon you'll be out, drinking scotch and water, and chatting about your mum lol jk.

 

Nah seriously, its a horrible feeling and I know it well. It gets better. trust me

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