finish off from last night

[darkpumpkin]

He called.

 

You have to read my last thread to understand what went on.

 

He basically said "I just didn't want to deal with anything due to stress" I told him he put me though hell and to never do that to me again. His attitude was "ya whatever" he wasn't very sorry. I just wanted to thank everyone here and I wanted to tell those who continue to be with someone who will disrespect you and won't make you a priority in there life are the ones who lose out. There are hundreds of amazing people out there with someone who for whatever reason can't appriciate or don't realize what they have.

 

I don't know what lies ahead of me from here on out. I don't know when I will walk up and walk away. Maybe I have. But I do know that I am able to be in a healthy relationship even if he can't be.

[kellbell]

Hey girl,

 

It sounds like you are in a good place right now. You realize you deserve better and that there is better out there. Good for you.

 

Now, the ball is in your court. You can either decide to stick around for awhile, feel out the situation a bit more and see where it leads you. Or you can say to heck with that, I want and deserve better and I am not going to bother sticking around. He had many chances. It is up to you.

 

Frankly, if your boyfriend feels you stress him out or talking to you stresses him out, then I feel your are better off without him.

 

Hang in there.

 

(((HUGS)))

[b2761]

try to think how you'd respond if someone else on this board wrote an email like that, and the threads you have about this situation. You might likely say by this point "Hmm- sounds like something you should get out of." Why not try to give yourself the advice you'd give someone else?

[Jayar]

try to think how you'd respond if someone else on this board wrote an email like that, and the threads you have about this situation. You might likely say by this point "Hmm- sounds like something you should get out of." Why not try to give yourself the advice you'd give someone else?

 

Agreed... And telling a guy that he (had the power to) put you through hell?! What are you?! Dependent on him or something?! Seriously, get some good books that have been recommended to you in the past and learn how to stop being a doormat. Your relationships will benefit from it, trust me!

 

I used to be put through hell by boyfriends... Then I learned to act like I wasn't being put through hell (even if I was) and now you know what? I can't really be shaken that easily by a guy... And the funny thing is, they sense it and don't walk all over me. Wouldn't that be a nice feeling for you to experience?

 

Short term pain for long term pleasure, you know. Best of luck!

[Batya33]

Imagine being in labor and delivering and he disappears because "I was stressed and didn't want to deal with anyone." Or imagine you invite him to an important friends or family function and he stands you up because he is "stressed." Since when is that a full blown excuse for rudeness? Would he tell his boss that "I didn't come in to work or call because I was stressed."

[darkpumpkin]

All super valid points. And truth I have a choice to make here and I don't feel that I have to make it right this second. With that I will also add I will not take forever to decide. I am in a really good place because I fully realize for the first time in any relationship or my life that it's not my fault.

 

As for him I don't know. There is no excuse for me to stay but I think some people would have to agree that you have to be ready to break it off and you don't need to make decisions at the very moment. I have a lot to decide in what I want for my future because really in the end only I can decide and I have to live with those choices.

[Batya33]

No you don't have to decide at this very moment but it depends on your values and standards. For me, when a person does something that egregious and more than once, it is not a tough decision in the least. This is not the first time he has behaved this way, yes? If you stay with him you have to accept that he will randomly "disappear" when the mood strikes him. If he is worth it otherwise, good luck. I have higher standards of how I expect to be treated and respected so for me it would be a no brainer.