Worried, what should I do?

[TheGuyNextDoor]

Hi, I am in a serious relationship with a girl that is considerably younger than I am. (I am 20 and she is 16). About 2 years ago we were hanging out somewhere and one thing led to another and I come to find out she really likes me. At first I was really kinda confused because I knew she was really younger than I am but on the other hand I found her to be extremely pleasant and a joy to be around. Well our relationship has grown great over the last 2 years and I really think she might be the one. But for some reason for the last few months she has been distancing herself from me and seemingly less and less intimate. And over the last week or so she came forward to me and said that she had a crush on this guy she knew and that she wants to know what it is like to date guys other than me (I was her very first and only boyfriend)... along with worrying about being unfaithful and that she may have a fear of commitment.

 

So I made the mistake of trying to latch even stronger to her by calling multiple times a day and getting depressed when she didn't call back when she was capable of doing so. We talked about it and I said I would stop smothering her like that and that I understood where she was coming from and that 'fantasies' and desires like that are normal seeing where she is coming from.

 

But I have this gut-wrenching feeling that she's lost what love she had for me and will never really love me again and that I will either lose her soon or end up hurt by a bout of unfaithfulness because she's afraid of breaking my heart.

 

Have I lost her, or is there anything I can do? I feel like I need to let her go 'test the waters' with other relationships... but I'm not ready to let her go like that knowing she may fall in love with someone else and I'll never have her in my arms again.

 

Please help.

[Locke2121]

She is sixteen....girls that age change their idea of cute and love as often as they change their socks. You were her first real romatic infatuation. Time to let her go bud. There are alot more fish in the sea, ones who are a touch more mature than her. So let her go, wish her well and go fishin'!

[Dubb]

Seems like she wants to be let go. Maybe have one more talk with her. If she does not want to stay together don't force her. You're gonna be 21 in a year man. When I hit that age the last thing I wanted was a relationship. I let a 5 year LTR b/c of it. I know you love the girl but sometimes you do just have to let them go. She is only 16 and will be changing A LOT in the next 10 years. The girl you know now will not be the same girl in 2 years. With the age gap you guys have it might be worse if she pulled this on you when you were 27 or 28. You might be left hurt and wondering where your 20's went to. Enjoy your life man. Don't resist it go with it.

 

I will give you a quick story. My best friend was with his GF for 7 years. They broke up when he was 21. He was crushed for a few months. Told me she was the only girl for him blah blah. 5 months later he had 4 girls and didn't even want to think about a GF. We had a good 3 years of fun before he settled down again. He still talks about how that was the best 3 years of his life. Notice he didn't say the 7 years with his ex were the best years.

[askauntamy]

She is young and wants to have relationships that don't last two years. She wants to try new things, and you just want to hang on.

 

I think you have lost her. It's best to part now and let her grow up. Maybe you'll return to one another when she's older.

[b2761]

regard this as a lesson learned. If someone pulls back in one direction, you do the same thing, cause if you hound them, they will only write you off permanently.