purplekangaroo Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Folks~ I really enjoy this forum. I'm uplifted by the things I read here. I wanted to post today about a situation I'm dealing with, and maybe get some responses and shared experiences. I lost a man I truly loved several months ago...he gave me standard reasons for leaving: "future incompabilities," etc, though he did express deep emotion at the breakup. (I started a thread earlier, before I realized what may have really happened between us ->) I realized later that these were probably not the real reasons he left me...I'd been depressed for months and hadn't noticed. All the symptoms were there--weight gain, change in sleep pattern, reduced interest in the future and sex--but I missed them. (My mother, who I am very close to, is terminally ill, and I didn't realize how poorly I was handling the situation until too late.) I became somewhat naggy, needy, irresponsible, and just generally smiled a whole lot less. I'm sure I was no longer a pleasure to be around. I'm very regretful because I understand many things now that I simply DIDN'T before in the relationship. Obviously, I cannot be blamed for being distraught about my family situation, but I CAN be expected to deal with it in a productive manner. Furthermore, I feel like we're just not at the right stage of life to really fight for love (at least, he isn't)--we're somewhat young (both 24) and he has very little relationship experience. Since the breakup, I've regained my grip on my grief, lost the weight, gotten my sex drive back, looked forward to the future, and otherwise improved things. But I don't know how to show him this without freaking him out. This person is someone who I'd like to spend the rest of my life with, but I feel like I've lost him because of poor timing, etc. I saw him today for the first time in a long time--we shared an enjoyable lunch with some level of chemistry, but I feel like he'll never see me as a person he could be with again. Anyone have any advice on how to deal with these regrets or how to make them go away by winning this person back? I know I need to move forward, and I'll look for others simultaneously...but he is someone about whom I care deeply. I'd also appreciate shared experiences...I love to hear others' stories. Especially others who look like this: because it is just awesome Link to comment
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