Gf pregnant, still smoking pot

[Hondadonkey]

My gf and I didn't exactly plan on getting pregnant, but I luv her to death and we are both exceited about this baby. its not like we partied lots but we did both smoke pot alot. when she first got pregnant her doc said it was OK to just wein off of it so it didn't shock the baby by going cold-turkey. She stopped when she was 2 months. But lately I have been noticing that some of my stuff is missing or like the pipe has been moved, and I saw her lip gloss on it. She is due at the end of this month. i know alot of ppl smoke when theyre preg, but especially at the end u have to stop or the baby will be addicted. She is doing it in secret. I want her to stop so the baby at least has its last month without chemicals. I dont no now to confront her tho, i am so mad but i care about her so much. i no she is in alot of pain from being so huge, but this is just wrong. What should I do?

[BellaDonna]

Hi there.

 

But lately I have been noticing that some of my stuff is missing or like the pipe has been moved, and I saw her lip gloss on it.

 

STEP 1: Do not bring this into your home anymore- at least not now. You are inadvertantly feeding into her behavior by having it so readily available.

 

STEP 2: Tell her you know what she has been doing, and provide her with materials so she can see what she is potentially doing to her baby: link removed

 

Note this part of the article too:

Ideally, a woman and her partner should quit long before they try for conception.

[chickidee23]

You want her to stop, you stop too. Just because she is the one carrying the baby doesn't mean you shouldn't have to make sacrifices, too. You really want to support her? Then do it and you guys can quit together- do it for your unborn child.

[Cyprian]

No offense, but this is sort of ridiculous. She needs to stop smoking immediately, and you should join her commitment to not smoke while she is pregnant.

[Jetta]

You have no idea the amount damage you can cause your unborn baby. Brain development (1st trimester), Lung development (3rd trimester). It's only 9 months. My parents both quit smoking as soon as my mom became pregnant with me. They never smoked again. My dad used to smoke unfiltered cigarettes. I'm not even sure if they make those anymore. Man I don't know how OB's do it, they know the damage that can occur from this and yet they stay so composed. I just want to chew you both out right now.

 

I see the problems in my son that my selfishness caused. It was my 21st birthday, everyone gets to drink I'm going to drink. They don't really know what's wrong with him someone suggested fetal alcohol. He's 11 years old, major problemed behavior that I couldn't manage. I rarely drink but when I do I drink to excess and I got drunk twice during that pregnancy (once before I knew I was pregnant). I regret it to this day.

[Jayar]

Not to mention the fact that the baby doesn't really need to grow up under the influence (quite literally) of a couple of pot-smokers. Jeez, give this baby a chance! You guys have a kid coming... Time to grow up. Now. And forever, not just for 9 months. When the kid grows up, finishes university, and is established in a nice career, home, and family situation THEN you can go back to smoking pot, if you so desire.

[rocio]

This post makes me angry. You two don't seem to have any idea of the consequences of what you're doing:

 

when she first got pregnant her doc said it was OK to just wein off of it so it didn't shock the baby by going cold-turkey.

 

Were you present in the room when the doctor said this? If your doctor really did say this, then you need to get a new doctor immediately. A baby won't go in shock from quitting pot cold-turkey. Also, smoking pot is the most detrimental in the first trimester - especially the earlier weeks.

 

 

i know alot of ppl smoke when theyre preg, but especially at the end u have to stop or the baby will be addicted.

 

There are alot of stupid people out there doing alot of stupid things. Not relevant.

 

Stop smoking pot. Stop bringing it into the house. You are just as guilty as she is and you are negligent parents. Pot is not even addictive. Before I found out I was pregnant, I smoked several times each day. I haven't even had one drag since I got the positive result on my pregnancy test at 5 weeks. It's not that hard.

 

Also, please don't smoke in front of the child. And if she continues to smoke pot after giving birth, tell her doctor. She should not be breastfeeding.

[Kalika]

I'm sorry, but pregnancy "pain" is normal. And it's ridiculous to suggest it's so bad that one might need to smoke pot to deal with it. Unless there's something wrong physically with your gf, I'd even go so far as to say she's lying about being in pain. Being pregnant is uncomfortable, not painful, and she's being ridiculously selfish.

 

Go out and read the literature on kids born with drugs in their system. Everything from asthma and poor development to ADD/ADHD and mood disorders has been linked to this type of drug use during pregnancy. Time to grow up, both of you. Put a stop to this immediately.

[caro33]

I am with the other posters 100%. The pot smoking must stop, for both of you. It's a shame that it went on so long. If a doctor told her to wean off the pot to not shock the baby I think they should be reported to the nearest health authority.

[Hondadonkey]

Wow I didn't realise that so many people would agree that alot of it is MY fault. Point taken. I think i will talk to her about it when she gets home today and vow to quit with her. I guess I knew I would have to quit when the baby comes but I was looking at this time of smoking pot as my last days. It isnt really fair to her to expect her to quit when it is infront of her. I'll give the rest of my baggy away and my pariphenalia. I read that site that was posted. I dontn think we were educated enough about it. We knew it was a no no but not to that extent. Its just not taken seriously where i live. We really do care about this baby and I feel stupid for being so uneducated about it. I hope you dont all hate me.

[BellaDonna]

We don't hate you.

 

We just hate to see anything bad happen to you, your baby, and your family. It's not worth it over pot.

 

It isnt really fair to her to expect her to quit when it is infront of her. I'll give the rest of my baggy away and my pariphenalia.

 

Make it even bolder than that- by giving it away you're still assigning VALUE to it.... throw it away, flush it down the toilet.

 

If you both stop now you can still have a positive impact. At least you're making a change and taking steps in the right direction.

 

BellaDonna

[Kalika]

It isnt really fair to her to expect her to quit when it is infront of her.

 

To be honest, before I got pregnant I used to smoke a LOT of pot, all day long, all the time.. Luckily I stopped a few months before I got pregnant (just because I was working so much I didn't have time to sit around and get high, not because I actually wanted to stop) but I was still associating with people that would get high even when I was pregnant. I was offered it all the time, and I still refused. I haven't smoked pot in 4 years, even though sometimes I really really want to. It's all about what kind of parent you want to be. During my pregnancy you could have put me in a room with 10 pounds of the best hydro in the world and I still wouldnt have touched it.

 

Consequences, my dear. Your actions have consequences.

 

And no, we don't hate you at all. Just the fact that you're posting about this says you're at least somewhat interested in the health and welfare of your unborn baby. But please, do something about this. It's just not fair to your child.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hondadonkey - I just want to say - GOOD FOR YOU!!

 

It is a reeeallly hard thing to do - to admit what you've admitted. Its a BIG person who can admit they may have made a mistake, take in the adivce you have been given here and not be defensive.

 

I think you will make a great dad.

 

Stick to your guns with your gf about the staying away from drugs thing. It may not be the coolest thing where you're from, people may think you're weird for caring but you're in the right - Know that!

 

Please keep us posted about the birth and how everything goes. - And congrats to you both. Becoming a parent is the hardest but most rewarding thing you'll ever do!!

 

Best of luck

 

Awdree

[Hondadonkey]

Thanx you guys. So I talked to Rachel about the pot thing and she got pretty moody and defensive about it, but in the end she broke down and agreed that she shouldn't have started again and that we both need to stop together. So I threw out my paraphenalia like bella said. Except one pipe that was pretty sentimental from my friend who got it from Greece, so I gave it back to her. I almost died doing it (please note the sarcasm) but together we flushed the rest of our green down the toilet.

 

We also decided that every time either of us has a craving for it we will go out and buy something for the baby. Even if its just a little pink pair of socks or something. Or else we will finish the baby room (still have painting and washing and stuff to do). I think we have a pretty good plan so hopefully all goes well. Im feelin pretty stone cold sober right now, not sure how I feel about it! ack! Its scary to be in my brain without anything slowing it down!

[AwdreeHpburn]

lol!! I hear ya dude!! Ya know - there are LEGAL drugs that can do that if you really, for real need help. But in the mean time, GOOD OF YOU AND RACHEL!!! This is HUGE and your child will thank you.

[caro33]

Good for you honkadonkey, you won't regret it. Best of luck to the (soon to be) three of you!

[Kalika]

Good for you (both of you). Not like it means anything coming from a stranger, but I'm proud of you both

[Cyprian]

I'm proud of you as well.

[CharlesF]

Hondadonkey,

 

I hope you stay off of pot forever. Now that you have a child on the way, it is more of a problem (if for example you get arrested or your child finds out, etc).

 

I wanted to point something out. You mentioned the baby being addicted, but it is impossible for anyone to be physically addicted to pot. This is because your body does not naturally produce THC and you will not have withdraw from quitting. So remember that when you have craving, it is just psychological.

[Cyprian]

Yep. Chocolate is more addictive than pot...and it tastes better too!

[southerngirl]

Good job on quitting! I hope you stay off it forever. Just think of all the extra money you'll have and the higher quality of life. Really, you'll have a little person that will look to you for everything. So think everytime you spend money on that, your taking money away from the babe.

[Mejane_83]

BOTH of you need to stop smoking pot! Get it out of the house and do not bring it back. Do you really think you'll be able to care for a newborn baby if you're both baked? I don't think so.

 

You're both being selfish. They will test the baby for drugs and if any are found they may not let you take it home.

 

*edit*

 

Sorry, didn't read through the whole thread.. GREAT job quitting, that shows a lot about you and your girlfriend. Keep it up!

[girlie353]

I don't think you'll miss the pot at all - I used to smoke quite a lot with my housemates in Galway, literally everyday I'd get home from work and light up a joint, and that would be me gone to another planet for the rest of the evening.

 

But don't you find that smoking so much just makes you lazy in your whole life? You don't bother getting anything done, it's just a case of "ah yeaaah I'll get to it someday..."

 

I got sick of that lifestyle, I wanted to be more active in my own life, and I moved out of that house and out of the city to Dublin and I tell ya, it was the best thing ever. I got a job I love, I met my wonderful boyfriend (who doesn't do drugs or even drink all that much), and things have just gone up and up... I still have friends from back then, and they are worse than ever, waking up for a bong at 9am and getting into coke and LSD and all sorts of stuff - not the way to waste your life!

 

This is the best decision you guys have ever made, and will make the world of difference for your new child - your life is going to get so much brighter and better from now on and you won't regret it at all! Well done!

 

And can I just say, I think it's best idea EVER to go buy something for the baby when you get cravings, that is such a sweet thing to think of, and really shows that your baby is coming first for both of you - you're gonna be great parents

 

Congratulations and hope all goes well for ye xxx