needingadvice Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 After splitting with my ex 8 months ago and having a very turbulent relationship, I have now over the last fortnight began to realise that for me personally, what most people say on here about NC being the way to heal is totally true. I didn't want to or couldn't implement it before - I kept thinking if I go totally he'll forget me. Now I realise that NC is to help me and not to make him miss me. I wont lie - it would be nice to think that now I've finally stopped communicating with him he will think of me - but I have to do this to be able to move on myself as I couldnt continue the way I was - clinging onto false hope. I used to think if I just say this or do this he will realise he wants to be with me - he didnt. There was only so much I could say and I had began to realise I was making myself look so needy, as after the way he treated me he certainly did not deserve me asking for him back!! I still dont understand why I miss him so much. I do. But after 10 days total NC I have times now when I laugh and forget - even if just for a while. I still sometimes feel like it's hitting me like a wave - I am overcome with grief and jsut want to talk to him. I must admit the thought of him never having any part in my life ever is still terrifying. I do know that if I contact him and he doesnt reply I'll be hurt, if I contact him and he is fine and happy, I'll hurt, and if I contact him and he's missing me terribly and wants to be together, I know deepdown we won't work and I'll only end up back here - so NC is the only option. Also, as he has treated me badly, by contacting him I am making it look like I find his behaviour in our relationship was acceptable - it wasnt. I have to be strong now, and to anyone at the beginning of a break-up, I would say now, I do believe the sooner you start NC the better for yourself. Link to comment
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