first time being dumped

[emma34]

so i've been dumped. and i'm wondering...how exactly does this work...because before i've broken up with ppl, and i deal with my sadness by falling back on this false sense of liberation that i just dno't have this time.

 

does one just go on foreever wishing that they will be taken back?? and then eventually forget about it. I know one day I'll get over him, but I really feel that I will always want him back

[greenmonster]

sorta depends on how long the relationship was and how serious.

 

it hurts, very much, and yes....you do go on for a while wishing they would take you back.

 

but what you have to remember and keep in mind is why would you want to be with someone that doesn't want to be with you??

 

coming to terms with and accepting why the relationship ended is something that may take a while...but also remember that you should learn from this and take something with you.

 

don't change yourself just to please someone else...you are who you are, and someone in a relationship should love you for that.

 

just my couple cents...

[StillClimbing]

i'm 2.5 years out of a 5 year relationship and I still cry over my ex.

 

very sad.

 

I think of all the stuff that has happened in our lives in the time we've been apart that each of us has missed out on. There is so much I want to share with my ex-bf. But then I realize that person that loved me and knew me so well does note exist anymore.

 

That guy was gone the day he decided he didn't want to be with me anymore.

 

I don't know when the pain will subside totally. I have dated guys since but they all seem like imposters. It's almost like I'm waiting for the real deal to come back. I feel anger towards him...how could he do this? I feel disappointment...what happened to our perfect love? I feel fear....what if I never find love like that again? I feel self-doubt...was I really so horrible that he left and never looked back?

 

It's a terrible thing to experience...HEARTBREAK. I never thought it would happen to me.

 

Good luck. I have no advice. Just needed to vent.

[Jess...]

I feel anger towards him...how could he do this? I feel disappointment...what happened to our perfect love? I feel fear....what if I never find love like that again? I feel self-doubt...was I really so horrible that he left and never looked back?

 

It's a terrible thing to experience...HEARTBREAK. I never thought it would happen to me.

 

All I can say is...same. I feel exactly the same. Sometimes I think "i'm so over being sad all the time im sick of this, who cares" but most of the time I feel like what you described.

[lpdreams]

Well all I can say is that the first time I was broken up with was the biggest shock of my life. I remember the first time it happened feeling as if the world I knew was going to end. My first relationship was 2.5 years and then one day he decided that he no longer wanted to be together. I was devastated!

 

I can vividly remember the feelings of diminished self worth and also feeling like I would always want him to either take me back or that I would always want him back.

 

It took me about a month (way too long!) before I started to take care of myself again after the break up. I started going to the gym every chance I had and started to do things that I wouldn’t have done while I was in the relationship such as art fairs, and hanging out with my friends more often.

 

I can tell you first hand that the feeling of always wanting him back does completely go away in time if you are willing to allow yourself to heal. How much time? That depends on you and your natural healing time. But know that it does go away! I can say that every once in a while I am curious to see how he is doing in life, but simply from a friendship stand point.

 

I just was broken up with for the second time in my life from a 5.5 year relationship. The pain is horrible, however having the understanding that the pain does subside and I will love again keeps me going.

 

I am sorry that this is the first time for you to feel the effects of being let go by another. I hope that you can find some relief from other people's experiences like mine, and know that you will heal in time! I wouldn’t think of it as being dumped, it is more like you are being released to find what truly makes you happy in life, and then to find someone to share your happiness with.

 

I promise that you will come out better for this. It may not feel like it but he actually did you a favor because you wouldn’t want to spend the rest of your life with someone who didn’t want to give you the love you deserve.

 

Hugs!

 

Lindsey

[coco_angel]

emma I know exactly how you feel and I am sorry! It teh worst feeling ever.

 

What I suggest is trying to remember what you loved to do before he was apart of your life. And do them, go to the park, watch movies with friends.

 

Don't be like me and sit at home crying. It is ok and normal to cry alot but at some point you will need to get up and smell that fresh air!

 

You will be okay in time. For me its been a year and I am now over it! A whole year!

 

After we broke up, he was with someone else and for almost 6 or 7 months, I still wanted him back, i was still crying. And also at some point you wont have those feeling or the roles will be reversed. I know how it feels to love someone and not get that back and be hurt in return. I thiok you should start finding out what makes you want him so bad and try to find ways other ways to make yourself happy. For me it was jokes, hugs, trust, love, sex lol But I realize in my friends and family I have all of that and then some (well not the sex).

 

Also don't feel like you ahve to be over it tomorrow or next month, give yourself time and really understnad your emotions. You were hurt but at the sametime you have your own beautiful life!