Old flames, wanting new relationships

[4answers]

After a period of no contact and or relationships in between, you bump into an ex from ages ago and the ex wants you back.

 

Question: So why did you end it ? They dont answer!

 

I am sure this has happened to others, Why does someone do this ? They bump into you and remember the good things about you and want to be in a relationship with you.

 

So why not sort out the problems/ issues when it matter. Ie in the relationship. Surly they must know that the actions of ending a relationship with someone will kill of that persons feelings for them !!! Then to here them say, but I just want someone to love me.... Eh !

 

They had that, gave it up, hurt someone who loved them. So clearly that statement is a lie, because they dont want that.

 

Has anyone experienced something similar and what did the ex say ?

[kate111]

I've never had one want me back.

[Goldfish6888]

My best mate split up from her ex, who just wasn't ready for commitment - she said she just wanted him to see a future with her - even if it was 5 years down the line. He ended it because he didn't see a future with her. 10 months later he was back and wanted her back.

 

He said he found during that time he REALLY missed her. She of course, I must say was so strong on NC - she totally blocked him out of her life and got on with it as best she could. It was hard. One day, she bumped into him on the street, said hello and smiled and chatted to him as if she was really happy, then as soon as she walked away from him, she felt the tears come...as she realised he still held a part of her heart, but she knew she couldn't give in now - as he just couldn't give her what she was looking for.

 

They got back together 10 months later - ON HER TERMS! They are now happy and trying for a baby. She really wouldn't have got back with him unless he had changed and that he could see a future and was ready for the commitment she so readily offered him. Needless to say, they are living happily ever after.

 

It was meant to be.

 

But again, I suppose the lesson I learnt from her story is that she stuck to her guns. Even when he called her at 2.30am from Chile, drunk and wanting to be friends - she ignored all his calls.

 

I talked to him at length on his side of the story and he said - without her life felt down and although he had innumberable flings during their break, he compared them all to her.

 

Ah....the path of true love is never smooth, but when the crossroads leads you back to them and they have truly changed - for the better and are willing to meet you halfway...then it is something you should consider!!

If they are still the same person, you are still the same person and nothing has changed - it will be like groundhog heartbreak!!

 

I hope you make the right decision for you.

[eleanorrigby1]

i had a guy that broke my heart at 17 and then again at 18 and 19, he would dump me and then reappear when he knew i had someone else. I ALWAYS dropped the guy i was with for him because i adored him. i was pathetic!

 

anyway finally he disappeared and i was gutted but i finally got over it, then when i was 23 i bumped into him at a do and he was fawning over me saying how gorgeous i looked and trying to get me to talk to him in private, i kept flirting, teasing, then gave him my number, he rang and texted, i said "of course i would love yo go out with you, meet me such and such"

 

i never went!

 

ha ha ha ha

 

he got stood up and FINALLY i won!

 

the idiot was blind to all the pain he had caused it was as though he had forgotton!

 

Saw him last year at a do, i was with my boyfriend and this ex of mine couldnt take his eyes off me all night.

 

 

sometimes though, they dont want you back and that has happened to me too and thats poo!

[kate111]

Great story.

 

It gives me the motivation to continue with no contact and block him out of my life. I feel this is my best way of dealing with things.

[HDD]

that is a great story Goldfish!

kate, do NC for your own healing. dont do it to get him back. Thats what i am trying to do as well. he's history. not my concern or worth my time. that stupid phone call was it, i'm not going to take any crap from him anymore. we will make it! NC is for US.

[bear12]

well, i think it's either the whole you don't know what you have until it's too late mentality OR that as time goes on you only remember the good things and they forgot the reasons why it didn't work out then and only remember the good times. i've had two exes want me back (one falling into each category, i believe) but by the time this happened, i didn't want either of them!!!