I messed up

[luvlostnfound]

Where to even start, I'm going to try to summarize this. I met a guy last May through an internet forum/community. It was unexpected and somehow progressed to us meeting even though we live in different countries and 3 different time zones. We met in August. It was wonderful. We both had big changes in our life starting in September. We started fighting a lot, every night till all hours. I finally said I couldn't take it anymore and broke up with him. This devastated him. I found out that I was his first ever gf and that I had taken his virginity. We stayed broken up till early January. During this time, he continually wanted to be in a relationship again. I kept saying no, I can't do it. I ended up meeting other men, another online at the same internet community. We became friendly and exchanged pictures that became extremely graphic. We never met in real life or even talked on the phone. Things kind of died off and I got back together with the first guy. Things didn't feel the same, I talked to him about how I felt, that I didn't want to be in this relationship. He begged for one more chance to see me. He felt like if I saw him again, I would know for sure how I felt. We continued to fight, I started having anxiety attacks about the impending visit. But I told myself to suck it up and do it for him because he was such a nice guy and truly cared about me and wanted this to work. Then, to make a long story short, he found out about the "graphic pics" I sent the other guy yesterday. I denied it but he discovered my lie. I had continued talking to the picture guy and sent more pics. I don't know why I did it, I guess for the thrill? I've completely blown it, I hurt him for no reason bc I couldn't put my foot down and say that I wanted the relationship to end months ago for good. I don't know what to do. Please help

 

I'm 22 and he's 24 if that means anything.

[Dissed]

Sorry about your troubles luvlostnfound.

 

I think you have to be strong & tell him that it is over & to cut all contact with him.

The fact that you are argueing so early in the relationship does not bold well for the future.

I assume you are not in love with him & although most of us do not like to hurt others, in this case you have got to "be cruel to be kind" & tell him it is over.

Also the fact that you are his first girlfriend will make it harder for him but he will move on.

 

Everyone for themselves but is it really a good idea to be sending "graphic pictures" to a guy you have never met.

 

I hope it all ends well for you - Good Luck

[RebeccaChow]

But you aren't even together with this guy, why should he care why did you do during the period when you're not together with him? It doesn't concern him!! I broke up with my ex-boyfriend and what I do now with my current fiance has nothing to do with him! If you still like this guy perhaps you two can start over, if not, just move on!! He should move on too, why on earth is he hurt when its over between you two? Take care!

[luvlostnfound]

The thing is, is we got back together in January and have been maintaining a long-distance relationship as best as we could. I was supposed to see him next month and I was planning on telling him, in person, that I would rather be friends. So I basically cheated on him I guess. This is escalating beyond control. I can't believe I messed up this bad. I basically did what my exbf did to me. ](*,)

[midnightrambler]

emotions are a strong thing. I had a married woman who I had dated 3 times sent me nude photos of her and told me "they are just between you and i " and the next week i found out one of them was being passed around a message board community through pms. I reacted like your "friend"---not happy

[luvlostnfound]

Ok, this has sort of come to a peaceful end. I think, as bad as this is, it's the best possible thing that could have happened. Thank you for the support.