Jump to content

Friends...?


Recommended Posts

Hey, just broke up with my girlfriend after close to a year long relationship.

Everything was great, we loved eachother, but it's our grad year, and she didnt' want to be tied down, and wanted to go out with her friends instead of sitting around with me i guess. I also understand, because we're both very social people, and love to go out with our friends and party, I'm just a bit less outgoing than she is.

Either way.......... my concern was, she and I really both wanna stay best friends, and watch LOST.. liek we used to on wednesdays and still hang out from time to time.. afterall, we are going to grad together anyways, so we want it to be fun right?

Is it a good idea to try to stay friends? or is it going to hurt us even more?

Link to comment

I'm sorry that you have to be going through this...Senior year is stressful enough without having a breakup on top of everything!

 

Usually friendship after a breakup isn't the greatest idea, since one of the people involved is bound to expect more (that would probably be you in this situation). If it's clear that she doesn't want a relationship (which is what you should assume unless she specifically says otherwise), your healing process may be hindered. That said, it may be difficult to avoid each other in these last few months before graduation. What I would say is, don't completely ignore each other, but don't push friendship either. If it's a Wednesday night and you feel like watching the show with her, you can give it a try...But don't EXPECT anything as far as friendship or a relationship...and if you're feeling uncomfortable with the situation, call things off. And whatever you end up doing, make sure both of you are on the same page.

Link to comment

You watch lost =\ ? oh well.

 

I see it like this, grad year is a year full of stress, and that people want time for themselves for study and whatever is only normal, personally i think that if this is what she wants that you just have to let her go and let her carve her own path in life. Can't mess with free will.

Link to comment

Yeah, the friend thing is working well so far... everything seems cool, she's still like my best friend, we still are hanging out, it's just weird not having any contact like we used to. And maybe you're right, maybe i should leave it alone..

Even though the friend thing is going good, my stomache still hurts like crazy every time i think of her, her smile still makes my whole body sink, I'm still so in love with her, I'm not sure how long I can put up wtih the friends thing wtihout doing something stupid.

All of her friends can't see her being able to do this for long, they say that we'll be back together in no time, but I dunno. I just really hope I can learn to cope and come to reality that it's not going to be the same, or heck, maybe a miracle will happen and she will come back. Who knows.

Link to comment

haha, my ex and I used to watch Lost too, when we broke up, he said he wont be able to watch it because I was something we did together as a couple.

 

I know the "being friends thing" is really hard because you still have feeling for that person.

Link to comment
haha, my ex and I used to watch Lost too, when we broke up, he said he wont be able to watch it because I was something we did together as a couple.

 

I know the "being friends thing" is really hard because you still have feeling for that person.

 

Exactly! ... She asked me to tape it though, and we're having a marathon as "friends" tomorrow night.... I really hope things go alright. I'm not going to get my hopes too high, but I really hope this hanging out as friends will remind her of how good we were together.

Link to comment
I really hope this hanging out as friends will remind her of how good we were together.

 

I don't think this will work. I have just heard of it not working out for so many people (including myself) that I have no faith in this approach as a way of making the ex realize how good you were together. I think the best approach for you to heal and be friends is to distance yourself until you feel indifferent toward the idea of being with her and then maybe start a friendship from there.

Link to comment

I did the same thing with a recent ex and it led to a lot of pain and confusion for me and a lot of unmet desires. We would get close but I would get the urge to kiss him and he wouldn't feel the same way. I tried to hold back on my feelings but I always ended up feeling frustrated. Now I don't hang out with him socially to avoid problems like that. You may feel like you can control your emotions and desires and just be friends but when you're in the actual situation, it may be a lot harder to hold back.

Link to comment
I don't think this will work. I have just heard of it not working out for so many people (including myself) that I have no faith in this approach as a way of making the ex realize how good you were together. I think the best approach for you to heal and be friends is to distance yourself until you feel indifferent toward the idea of being with her and then maybe start a friendship from there.

 

Yep, wish I would have done this.

Link to comment

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...