from getting back together, posting back in breakup

[emma34]

What I sent is at the bottom...I sent it first and got back the top one this morning. So it's not good news..what do you think?? I really wanted to tel him more - i still love him, please don't leave me...it hurts so bad.

 

 

Hey you,

 

You do not need to put blame on yourself for what happened. Yes it was frustrating for me, but at the end of the day I am responsible for making you feel the way you do. We come from two different places and sometime it seems that our lives dont clash very well. Obviously my feelings for you have not change over night, I cant even bring myself to take your picture down. Maybe time apart is all we need, I dont have all the answers. It seems too soon to say the words its over, part of me thinks it might be over and the other part is too scared to let go, the last thing i want to do is leave you hanging. I am really sorry but thats all I can say for now.

 

 

Jason

 

 

 

J,

 

I’ll make this short and sweet.

 

I’ve tried to figure out why it’s been so bad lately, and while I don’t know all the answers, I can see now that I am partially to blame. Putting myself in your shoes, I realized how frustrating it must be. I wanted to give it time, so that is why I’m e-mailing you now. Fact is, I love you, but I agree that we need to spend some time apart…honestly, I hate to say it, but I think I need to work on my insecurities and find out why lately I had been so resentful towards you. I won’t get to into it now…so basically the reason why I am e-mailing you is because I want to find out sooner rather than later if you are willing to work it out at some point or not, in which case I suppose I need to hear an "it's over" from you.

 

A.

[Jayar]

It's hard, but this is the type of response you'll get in 90% of cases... It's what my ex said (even though there was NEVER intention of getting back together). You see, it just sounds SAFER and maybe he feels nicer to say "maybe" than "no". What he doesn't factor in is how your life will now be on hold until he essentially LETS you go, which is neither safe nor nice for you. Often when a partner says "space is all we need" it really means "I want to see if I can do better, but if I can't I'll let you know and maybe settle with coming back to you" not in ALL cases, but in the vast majority. He may not be 100% ready to let go, but he was 100% ready (by the sounds of it) to try.

 

It's not easy, but YOU are the only one responsible for letting YOURSELF move on, not him. Believe me, take the opportunity now. Go meet people. See if what you had was really all that great (because he will certainly be doing the same soon if not right away). If anything, moving on makes him LESS secure and MORE likely to come back, whereas staying in this cycle of sad hope makes the opposite true. Best of luck.