mia1207 Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Thank you so much! all the advice is very appreciated! Just a couple of points to be added. I am not being shallow but the reasons I can possibly see that he does not give up are 1) It will be difficult to find anyone more perfect than me - I am easygoing, warm, independent, fearless, fun to be with and have a model figure, beautiful face and a phd in mathematics and a respectable job. Everyone tells me that I can get anyone I want... 2) He is looking for a wife 3) I want to build something strong before sex I so can relate. Did you ever think he might be intimidated by you and that he want someone more at his level? Is he as accomplished as you are in other areas of his life? And believe me, he will find other people who he feels more compatible with, even if they are not as "perfect" as you are. Were you doing anythign sexual at all beside cuddling? Link to comment
mia1207 Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 over 4 months though? that seems extreme. What if there were other reciprocal sexual activities involved other than intercourse? Would you have held on at least that long? Link to comment
Bethany Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 This is so simple. The guy is not gay. He had feelings of love for her and found out that hers were nowhere near as deep for him, which wounded his pride. The offer of sex only exacerbated his hurt, as it pointed up her lack of comprehension about his feelings. Now he doesn't know what to do. The End. Why was this stickied? Yup, I agree with this. I also think that he thought he was doing everything right but you told him that he wasn't. You have to tread very, very carefully here. If it were me, I'd apologise for saying it so wrongly and take all the blame. Then I'd explain that what you were trying (badly) to say was that you love and want him so much that felt ready to take the next step but couldn't find the words and that it came out all wrong. I might also say "Please forgive me" if I felt it was needed or appropriate. Link to comment
sk11 Posted March 29, 2007 Author Share Posted March 29, 2007 Bethany - You are right. He did everything right and it felt so perfect that I want him so much but I did not know how to tell him to take the next step.. I will apology and ask him to forgive me... Link to comment
sk11 Posted March 29, 2007 Author Share Posted March 29, 2007 He said he would call me last night but in the evening he only text me that he was too busy to call and delayed it to today... Link to comment
sk11 Posted March 29, 2007 Author Share Posted March 29, 2007 Bethany - I made a sincere apology via email but his reply was cold and polite and insisted that we need to stick to the original plan to think for a little while about what we are doing, although he understands a little more. Does it mean he does not accept the apology or he is playing the mind game? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 maybe he is busy. at least he didn't blow you off completely and tell you nothing. Link to comment
sk11 Posted March 30, 2007 Author Share Posted March 30, 2007 He called me last night at the time we agreed. I was in a club with really loud music background when he called. When I got out of the club, he told me he did not want to have any in-depth conversation as he needed the weekend to think about what he was doing. He just siad 'have a good evening' and hang up on me. Then he texted me straightaway that he was crap at talking on the phone and chat soon. And I replied that 'how deep I feel is no less than how deep you feel for me. Tell me if there is something else. I want heart to heart. No pushing and pulling. That is not love.' He did not reply. What is going on in his mind? Is he giving up on me? Link to comment
blemished Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 Now he is just playing games with you. I would find some dignity and stop talking to him. He will then try to get in touch with you, and after a few tries, he will then tell you what's on his mind. By that point, you'll be separated enough from the situation to decide what you want from it. On another note, your statement of perfection sure does make you imperfect! Link to comment
sk11 Posted April 1, 2007 Author Share Posted April 1, 2007 blemished - thanks for advice. I know am not perfect at all, although I wish I were though... It was purely for a full picture in order to get fair advice He did tell me what was in his mind and it turned out that he was concerned about 1) he does not want children as he has one (he told me he wanted babies before) 2) if I am adventurous enough in bedroom. Argh! Link to comment
blemished Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 How would he know about #2 unless you had slept together? This sounds very strange to me. He also sounds flakey, especially considering the inconsistency in #1. I would drop this guy. PS - There is no such thing as perfection-- being perfect is in the eye of the beholder. You don't wish you were perfect-- you just need to meet a man who thinks you are perfect for HIM, and vice versa! Link to comment
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