bar35 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 I don't want to offend anyone here, but I am a psychology major and I had a question in three parts. My question is this. First Part Where did you and your ex come from- a family whose parents are still together and have a good relationship or from a family in which the parents got divorced? From an abusive (physically/emotionally) household? Second Part Who ended the relationship? Third Part Was your ex on any medication? Depression? Bipolar? Please answer like this, this would be my answer for the last two women who i went out with. Me-parents-together Ex-parents-divorced/abuse Ex-Dumped me Ex-prozac, welbutrin,cymbalta Link to comment
Bankers24 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Both parents are still together. I left him because he cheated on me No medications Link to comment
bar35 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 sounds like a healthy response to me. well done. Link to comment
GQstatus Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Parents divorced Hers were never married/abuse (emotional,physical,sexual) Dumped me after a year/got back, i dumped her after 4 months her - bi polar/not taking meds Link to comment
CarnelianButterfly Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 No offense, but isn't there questionable ethics asking people to discuss the mental health of others, especially if they don't have permission. Link to comment
bar35 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 No offense, but isn't there questionable ethics asking people to discuss the mental health of others, especially if they don't have permission. It would be questionable ethically if we were to disclose names, however because there is inherent anonymity in the forum privacy is maintained. Also there is no obligation on anyones behalf to disclose anything that they do not want to. If I were to disclose confidential records that would be unethical and illegal. Good question though. Link to comment
peaceseeker Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Ex's parents together and content My parents together and content Ex walks out..... Me SAD.... sound familiar Link to comment
bar35 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 that is sad. i hope your heart heals quickly and completely. Link to comment
Veepower Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Me-parents-together Ex-parents-divorced (ex left with grand parents at 3 months old her mother did not want to know her). Ex-Dumped me Ex-Has had depression and bulimia. Medication unknown Me-feeling depressed! no medication, only Hope! Link to comment
bar35 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 Hey Vee, thank you for sharing. I have lived that before. It's heart wrenching. You will be ok. Link to comment
chickidee23 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Me- parents divorced/abuse/mom remarried/more abuse (not as bad as previous abuse, though) Ex- parents together/dad cheated on mom a few times Ex- dumped me quite a bit but we got back together; I was the last dumper but I wanted him back for a long time Neither of us were on meds. Link to comment
Jetta Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 My family - Parents married for 33 years, mom widowed. His family - Parents together for 35 years. Ended the relationship - I did and regret doing so. Medication - Neither of us were, I am now. Link to comment
bar35 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 Chickadee, thank you for sharing. Speaking from experience the back and forth relationship is probably one of the hardest to endure. Jetta, I hope that the medication is helping you to cope. I am heavily considering it myself. I am sorry that you are regretting the end, I hope you heal quickly. Link to comment
bear12 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 i don't really think there's any connection in the context you're asking. i mean in one's lifetime most people will be both a dumper and a dumpee regardless of their family background or how prone they are to mental health issues, etc... there might be some connection when it comes to the break up of marriages or maybe even how many different dating relationships one enters into over a lifetime, but i don't think such a simple survey like this is really going to reveal anything.... sorry to be a downer! Link to comment
Dr.Amore Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Ex's parents divorced, Mom slept with her daughters husband, mom slept around, married for the 4th time ,sexual abuse, my ex is following in mom footsteps which i called her out on, but of course she denys it Mine- together and content, raised well, family has a very religious back ground. Ex- did the break up, took me back i changed, she broke up with me again a month ago and this time for good. Ex- social anxiety, shy, no common sense,= Lexipro Link to comment
Dr.Amore Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 i don't really think there's any connection in the context you're asking. i mean in one's lifetime most people will be both a dumper and a dumpee regardless of their family background or how prone they are to mental health issues, etc... there might be some connection when it comes to the break up of marriages or maybe even how many different dating relationships one enters into over a lifetime, but i don't think such a simple survey like this is really going to reveal anything.... sorry to be a downer! I disagree to a certain point, but there is sense to it. You will notice a pattern of the same actions done by the same type of people. Maybe i didn't word it right but to me i find interesting. Link to comment
bear12 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 hey, dr. i didn't mean to criticize you. i understand why you would find it interesting (i was a psych major too!) i guess my point is just that (sorry to get dorky technical) 1) your sample is somewhat skewed since you're only surveying people on this site (ie people who maybe had a harder time dealing with the break up than some of the general public) and 2) i'm not sure that just asking everyone about their past break up would really prove your point.. rather, you'd have to follow two groups of people.. one with "normal" family backgrounds and one with abuse/divorce/etc. and track both group's relationships over time and see how often they break up with other people... sounds like a good doctorate thesis yeah, yeah, i know, sorry! well, in any case i'll oblige you: me: divorced parents (more than once!) ex: divorced, abuse he dumped me no meds... Link to comment
bar35 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 Hey Bear, you are correct in that the question and sample is not completely random, but i am not really trying to make a pure survey here. There does have to be some sort of consistent following of people from families that are still together and families which are fractured. It would make a great dissertation, you're right. Link to comment
bear12 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 yeah, i know. i'm just really hung up on making sure studies are reliable, since i feel like so many people these days make all these outlandish claims w/out much reliable support! bt i know this isn't meant to be super scientific or anything, but i guess i'm just not sure if you'd really be able to draw any conclusions from it! but if you do, be sure to let us know! i'm not trying to be a snob, i promise, i'm just a super big dork when it comes to research methods!!! perhaps i missed my true calling and sorry to confuse you and the dr. i couldn't remember who started the tread! Link to comment
bar35 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 I know you aren't trying to be a snob and of course of there are not going to be reliable conclusions from it. I appreciate your contribution. People do make outlandish claims, assertions based on correlations which have nothing to do with what they are claiming. Link to comment
sebastn7 Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 Me-Parents together n Happy Ex-Parents have gotten divorced but mother didn't want to be alone so she begged for him to stay with her and family. Father had a family before ex's family. He's very stubborn. Cold...Ex is just like father. My ex always compared me to her mother. She loves her mother, but she is just like her father. Ex Dumped me after 4 years Me- I've been dumped before...Pain is still as intense, but as soon as my heart failed, my mind and body took over. Been working out 6 days a week. Heart still in pain, but body and mind feel great. Link to comment
bar35 Posted March 28, 2007 Author Share Posted March 28, 2007 I am sorry man. Keep working out, the training is the best thing to get you through this. The bottom line is that you are taking care of yourself. Stay strong both mentally and physically. Thank you for sharing your background. Link to comment
ruby19 Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Me-parents divorced after 20 years of marriage, father dead from suicide, mother widowed after 2nd husband died Ex-parents-married 35ish years, seem quite happy and devoted Ex-Dumped me Ex-self-centred, young and hypcritical, smoked a bowl occasionally but nothing else Link to comment
scarew Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Ex- parents together for 20 yrs but divorced in the middle of our relationship Me- parents couldn't be more apart I left him, I am always on and off of medication (effexor, prozac, zoloft in the past) Now: Hubby- parenst together and content Me- Mother has remarried and I consider him a great father figure Neither of us are going anywhere, ever Although I don't really like the idea of categorizing people based on their past with universalistic assumptions, there is certainly something to be said for women being able to maintain relationships more easily if she has a stable father figure. Link to comment
bar35 Posted March 29, 2007 Author Share Posted March 29, 2007 Ruby thank you for sharing. I am sorry to hear that your father took his own life. I wonder how young your ex is. Scarew, thanks for you contribution. I am not big on categorizing people based solely on their families either. i am just curious to see. Congratulations on your soon to be born! That's exciting! (I'm a little jealous.) Screenager, you sound like you really did your best and your ex did too. Good for you guys. I don't think that there is anything wrong with breaking up when all options have been exercised. It sounds like you two really liked eachother. Link to comment
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