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And uncermoniously too?

 

We talk EVERY day - if not on the phone, then on the computer.

We last talked Sunday night, making plans for my upcoming visit. I was excited, happy and the conversation really was making look forward to the trip even more.

 

Fast forward to today...no word from. Not one. (No, wait I lie..I messaged him yesterday - he replied like an hour later, he was going to make dinner, and said he'd be back later - he didn't return)

 

Obviously I can't read his mind, but, could this be his way of sayong see you later?

Do I dare message him again? I don't want to come off needy and all, but a part of me is concerned, he was a bit down in the dumps. Another part of me is angry/hurt because if this is over (I really don't want it to be) I feel I deserve to know.

 

I know he's been online. No, I don't stalk him...he plays in a fantasy hockey league and he checks the stats everyday - he as obsessed with hockey as I am.

 

So...am I over reacting? Am I being a stupid girl?

This LDR thing is new to me and him...am I expecting too much?

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You suffer from acute paranoia , here's the deal. Show that you have a life of your own by bringing the power of your life back where it belongs, namely in your hands. Even if he goes out of your life, you need to be able to fall back on your own life, because now you are like ' i can't live without him' , thing is you should never go into a relationship with the thought 'it will work out' , reality is that a guy can pack his bags and leave any day. And in this case, he hasn't said/done anything that indicates that what is between you is over. Not contacting you isn't equal to a break up, heck the guy could be busy with school/work other things, you shouldn't go into a state of overexaggerated worry when he doesn't call for a couple of days.

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Yes, it would be our first time meeting.

 

The whole where to meet thing was tossed back and forth with a few places mentioned, including here.

Part of me still thinks a man should go see the woman first. The choice was pretty much 50/50 for me to go visit him. (he's paying - his offer - I NEVER once asked for that-wouldn't) Add to that,that I really want to see that part of the country...we just kinda fell into the ok I'll go to you.

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I think you need to talk to him to see if something is wrong... since you spoke on Sunday night, it has not even been 48 hours... he could not be feeling well, or distracted or stressed about something else...

 

people do sometimes dump people unceremoniously, but i would try to talk to him (on the phone, not messages) before you jump to conclusions.

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Yes, it would be our first time meeting.

 

The whole where to meet thing was tossed back and forth with a few places mentioned, including here.

Part of me still thinks a man should go see the woman first. The choice was pretty much 50/50 for me to go visit him. (he's paying - his offer - I NEVER once asked for that-wouldn't) Add to that,that I really want to see that part of the country...we just kinda fell into the ok I'll go to you.

 

OK - my guess is that you have put high expectations on the on line contact with this virtual stranger - calling it a "relationship" etc and he might be feeling a bit overwhelmed and backing off a bit. However, I agree that he has not been out of touch that long.

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You all have valid points. Let me address some.

I know I sound like I'm suffering from some sort of paranoia...honestly I'm not. I also realize that 48 hours without speaking isn't a week, a month or longer...I guess I miss talking to him, tho honestly I really try not to.

The distance is great between us and that fact is always in the back of my mind.

 

I spend time with my 'real life' friends' I would never ever push them aside. I know enough not to let the net dictate my life. (I learnt that watching someone I know fall into that)

 

He has referred to 'us' as being in a relationship. He brought up the idea of meeting. He talked about a cd he wanted to make of love songs...I swear - I was so hesitant about this...I was the one overwhelmed, believe me.

 

I think the part of me that thinks a man should come to a woman first is an old fashioned bit of me. As I said I am not averse to going to him.

 

I haven't put expectations on him..really. I think the only expectation I had was that we would indeed talk every day...and that therein might've been me being a bit clingy-I admit that. (Tho I've never verbally told him that I wanted to talk every day - I just got used to it)

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I would treat this as if you are meeting - for all practical purposes - a stranger and put aside the "relationship" label because, from the perspective of a romantic relationship, that is a label with little substance.

 

I agree that the man should travel to see the woman - for general reasons of safety. I also think you should get your own hotel room while you're there and not go in a car with him or be in a private place until after you've spent time together over a few day time period.

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lol, I can totally understand how you're feeling, I'm going through pretty much exactly the same thing as you described. I thought I was just being paranoid but after reading some of these responses, it made me feel better. I think you both will be fine. I know what you mean about missing him, I've felt like that a few times. Chances are, he probably doesn't even realize he's doing it, he's probably just busy.

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