Are his lines guileful crap or sincere?

[Serpent Queen]

I met a male suitor at a punk show. We kissed, all was well. He said he'd call me, he did. I called him back and told him I am not interested in a relationship but would enjoy (ahem) cuckoldry, which we did.

 

All seems good right? Everybody's happy, eh? Well, I'm starting to fall for him, hard, and I don't want to. I promised myself after this recent horrific break-up I went through (a/b 4 months ago, but we were dating for many years) I would spend a year being just me, and happy with that. But damn it, I've fallen for him. Can I undo this?

 

I am hoping his lines are insincere (ie. your beautiful, smart, I can't stop looking at you ect) are all these lines just duplicitous crap that guys say when they want to do it more?

 

On the other side of things; he has so much education it is so sexy to me... (considering I always wind up with high school drop outs that expect to become famous drummers or something)

 

Some lines :

You have beautiful eyes, what is going on behind them?

I love looking at your face.

It's so nice to be with an intelligent woman.

I can't think when you kiss me.

 

Are these fer real?

[mintblossom]

they don't sound real to me. seems kind of buttery.

[Daddy Bear]

That first line makes me want to puke up my liver, but I've said the other three and meant it.

 

By the way, nice use of 'cuckoldry'. *+1* I must admit I've never heard it in that context before.

 

EDIT: That's also the only example of the use of the word on ENA (at least in extant posts). *+2*

[finewhine]

Oh, to be twenty two again. You're not an English major, are you? You sound like I did at twenty two. I'm not making fun of you - I LOVE my twenty two year-old self. She went to punk shows and dated dumb, hot musicians and was jaded and was an awesome writer, too.

 

Look, either this guy is a rebound or he's not. He's either sincere or he's not. If your feelings are super strong, no sense in not exploring them and him.

 

Things you can't do:

 

1. Continue having sex with him without falling for him, because you obviously are.

 

2. Predict the future, i.e., determine whether or not he's feeding you a load, or if he'll break your heart, or if you'll break his.

 

3. Continue to date beneath you.

 

Also, there's a good chance he's being sincere when he tells you these things. I mean, young guys are full of pablum. So are older guys. There's nothing wrong with this - it's the clever, cynical ones you have to watch out for.

[caro33]

I love you word people, I even had to look up pablum .

[finewhine]

Probably an Americanism. Don't feel bad

[Daddy Bear]

Hey, Pablum was invented in Canada. Don't try to pin that one on us Yanks!

[finewhine]

Well ya learn something new every day

 

I suppose if it were a real Americanism, it'd be "gerber."

[Serpent Queen]

good advice, retired the PBR and picked up the wine lady.- I guess I should keep it nimble*(for you, bloke) - Keep dating him but tell him I don't want a relationship.....is this confusing for the male species?

[Batya33]

Why is it duplicitous of him to whisper sweet nothings knowing that you told him you want nothing more than sex? If he does have feelings for you, aren't you the duplicitous one (under your definition, not mine) by withholding how you feel when he tells you how he feels?

 

It's possible he wants more than sex and it's possible that when he is in the moment he has romantic feelings for you. You set up this situation to be just about sex and thereforeeee he is behaving consistently with your expectations.

[finewhine]

Ouch, Batya. You make a good point. You don't spew gerber. Eeew, sorry for that image.

 

You're picking up on a key nuance: the OP is trying to trick herself into thinking she doesn't want to be in a relationship with this guy.

[Serpent Queen]

you just thrust my foot so quickly into my mouth I think I lost a tooth.

 

however- I did tell him that I liked him, and returned his compliments....some of them. We even went to the movies. His birthday is tomorrow and I think I will buy him a kazoo... is this not a step towards showing him I am interested?

[finewhine]

You are showing him you are interested, yes. I'm afraid you're just going to have to be in a relationship with him until it ends. Sorry.

[Serpent Queen]

Oh applesauce.

[Daddy Bear]

Now yer talkin' mah lingo!

 

image removed

[Batya33]

you just thrust my foot so quickly into my mouth I think I lost a tooth.

 

however- I did tell him that I liked him, and returned his compliments....some of them. We even went to the movies. His birthday is tomorrow and I think I will buy him a kazoo... is this not a step towards showing him I am interested?

 

But this is all in the context of "I only want sex" so you cannot expect him to be a mind reader. And, since you claim to not trust him to have your best interests at heart - why do you want a relationship with him anyway?

 

In my experience, men typically do not want a relationship with a woman who just wanted sex from them.

[Siriana]

You said you want sex only.

Now you need to say you want a relationship with him if you want that.

If you had guts for saying sex only, than you can say I am interested in something more too.

He's not a mind reader!

[ghost69]

ur implying that all men are bland? lame

 

his lines seem weird. i've never really said any of those. not in love or especially having just met someone.