w3rd Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 The ex and I started attending church weekly about a month before we broke up. She was interested in hearing about God but needed that extra push. Well I've been going every week since by myself and this up coming weekend is supposed to be a very moving and powerful service with Easter coming up. I would love for her to go, not with me but for herself. For some reason I feel like I should let her know. Should I send her an email telling her about the service or will the jeopardize my NC? We've been NC for 40 some days....Any opinions would be great. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Why? -------- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlander Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 w3rd, Im afraid this is your subconscious working, trying to get you to justify contacting your ex for "her sake". Just let it go. It's her choice whether to attend service or not. Remember,that real faith and devotion cannot be found in a church, but in the heart. Orlander Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b2761 Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 I don't know the details of your breakup, but I'd say you have to think about yourself most of all right now. What if she did go- would you try to be with her, would you see this as a sign of you getting back together? Would it hurt you if she said she didn't want to go? Do you think you're possibly at a point where you want to try to make a friendship happen- and if you think you are, would you be willing to hear her talk about a new mate? (the usual litmus test if you're ready to be friends or not). In the absense of knowing any of those answers, it would be really hard for anyone here to tell you whether it's a good idea or not. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w3rd Posted March 27, 2007 Author Share Posted March 27, 2007 Why? -------- I feel as if this would be a good service to go to for non-believers. I've told my other friends who are not Christian to come check it out as well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w3rd Posted March 27, 2007 Author Share Posted March 27, 2007 I don't know the details of your breakup, but I'd say you have to think about yourself most of all right now. What if she did go- would you try to be with her, would you see this as a sign of you getting back together? Would it hurt you if she said she didn't want to go? Do you think you're possibly at a point where you want to try to make a friendship happen- and if you think you are, would you be willing to hear her talk about a new mate? (the usual litmus test if you're ready to be friends or not). In the absense of knowing any of those answers, it would be really hard for anyone here to tell you whether it's a good idea or not. Thanks for the responses. Our breakup I guess was "typical" Dated almost 3 years broke up because she didn't "feel" it anymore. Honestly, I don't care if she responds to my email. I don't care if she goes with me, I would like her to go for herseld. She been through some hard times the last couple months and I feel like having a relationship with God would help her a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melrich Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 I feel as if this would be a good service to go to for non-believers. I've told my other friends who are not Christian to come check it out as well. I don't think that your recent ex is the person you should be targeting to convert to Christianity. If you have to do this, I think you should stick to people who you do not have such a difficult emotional tie with. It could be perceived that you are using your religion for other purposes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caro33 Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 I don't think that your recent ex is the person you should be targeting to convert to Christianity. If you have to do this, I think you should stick to people who you do not have such a difficult emotional tie with. It could be perceived that you are using your religion for other purposes. Completely agree. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w3rd Posted March 27, 2007 Author Share Posted March 27, 2007 I don't think that your recent ex is the person you should be targeting to convert to Christianity. If you have to do this, I think you should stick to people who you do not have such a difficult emotional tie with. It could be perceived that you are using your religion for other purposes. Thanks for the response I can see where you coming from. FWIW, I don't feel like I have to convert her.....she grew up in a catholic family but stopped going to church after high school. I just thought this would be a good opportunity for her. Thats the last thing I want....her thinking I'm using this as an excuse to speak with her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dako Posted March 27, 2007 Share Posted March 27, 2007 Thats the last thing I want....her thinking I'm using this as an excuse to speak with her. Bingo. I know it's hard to stop wanting to influence ex and our minds paint these scenarios of interaction, but you need to find yourself a future on your own. Believe me, I understand. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
w3rd Posted March 27, 2007 Author Share Posted March 27, 2007 Thanks for the help, I know the answer now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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