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How do you move on from love?


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I fell so hard for this guy I divorced my husband. Well the thing is he views me as having cheated on him so I know I ruined that relationship before it really started. I never loved a guy like I love this guy. I can think of a ton of faults, but love knows no bounds.

 

Anyway I haven't seen him in probably a year. I really need to move on but I don't want to just date anyone. I want to feel that spark again and so far I haven't. How do you let go of something you never really had? Being around him gave me really strong feelings including happy, glowing, etc. (mostly positive) that I had no control over. Since he's been gone from even sight it's been a big downer. I was high around him, he was too. He used to get giddy happy and dance around. So I know it was mutual, plus a few other things. But it never progressed into a full on relationship (too many games for one). Yet this is the guy I can't let go of. HELP.

 

I know he's a soulmate. How do you let go of a soulmate? So much has happened in my life since metting it's unreal. I really need to release this but he's the guy that made me feel so happy I don't want to let go of the happy. What can I do?

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Jetta,

 

Not to sound harsh..YOU KNOW NOTHING of a soulmate. You THINK you know....you want to FEEL as if he is the one because of the way your feelings are so "up in the air so to speak". I believe in love....I believe there is a "one" for us all. I am also a realist. I used to think this theory of "the one" with several women I was in love with....

 

If you didn;t know, I am a single, never been married 35 year old man. I am extremely happy with my life. I am happy with who I am and I live my life to the fullest. I think you are refusing to let go of the idea ....of him being the one. He's gone.....possibly not forever mind you, but right now...IN THE NOW....he is gone. It takes two to love and STAY in love.

 

You divorced your husband for a man that is no longer in yoru life...you haven't seen him in over a year...

 

 

You asked ..."how do you let go of something you never really had?"

 

 

If you NEVER really had it....there is nothing to let go!! Make sense? YOu are the creator of your own happiness. YOU ARE!!

 

No one can make you happy..yo uchoose to be hapy based on the feeling of NEED....not want. If you truly loved this man.....and I mean truly..you would love him enough to let him go..and be happy with whomever he chooses. You never know what can happen...he may come back..but I would live my life in the present and open my eyes to tdoay and realize HE IS NOT THERE...

 

I wish you the best....again, I did not mean to sound harsh...but I want you to snap out of it..you can do it and be happier that you ever were you if choose to be!!

 

 

Your Friend,

 

 

SuperDave71

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I don't think he views you as the same. More often than not, when a man fools around with a married woman, at first he's completely into her and justify's it because the husband is such a "bad guy" but after she leaves her husband the guy suddenly realizes "Hey! what if he wasn't so bad? she could do the some thing to me, she's not relationship material". It's too late jetta, try to move on. You're free to find a relationship that has a chance as long as you let go of the one that doesn't...

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SuperDave - Not harsh at all, and that's exactly what I need to hear (even if I don't believe all of it). LOL My feelings I can't control and just thinking about him makes me happy. I do know what soulmates are.

 

Answerguy - We never had sex. He told me he didn't want to be my rebound guy, he waited around for me to divorce but I wasn't sure he really was interested (too many mind games). I found out after I slept with another guy he was really hurt and felt I had cheated on him (I was still married when I did that). I totally wanted to have an affair with him, he wouldn't do it. I am trying to go with the viewpoint that he wasn't really interested because we never were official. Still I can't control my feelings just want them to be for someone who will share them. So far no guy makes me feel the way that one did.

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