MyNinja Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 What's Up?? For those of you who remember me from the recent posts, well I back again, lol!! My boyfriend asked me a serious, life-altering question today. He asked, "I need to ask you a serious question, would you be my baby's mama?" I told him that I don't know because I really don't know!! Having kids is a big responsibility and my life would be put on hold. I'm going into training for my paramedic career this july and I plan to move to San Luis Obispo sometime next year. Having kids never crossed my mind! Making the wrong decision could mean the difference between me being stuck in fresno trying to make the best life for my child or having an awesome career in a beautiful and plentiful town. I'm not saying that having kids would ruin my career and keep me in this dead boring town, but it would slow me down significantly and I'm not ready to settle down and start a family. From my boyfriend's point of view, he's been cheated on and lied to eleven times by each one of his past eleven girlfriends. He's so amazed that he found me because I'm an honest and good person who is in school and doesn't beg for money and walk the streets. He wasn't used to people like me. He thought that all females were the same based on his past relationships....players and users for money. When he found out that I wasn't like that he became emotionally overwhelmed and started planning his future with me. He's telling his niece to call me Auntie because he wants to marry me sometime in the future. Then he started talking about having kids and that just scared me.....he's my first boyfriend and I don't want to make any fatal decisions. I really like him and I don't want to lose him because of this! What do you guys think?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mia1207 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 If you're good enough to carry his baby, why does he not think you're good enough to be his fiance and eventually his wife? At least get some kind of commitment from him first! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daligal83 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 If you're not ready to have a child, then don't. It's as simple as that. If you think you want that with him in the future, then that's great and let him know. Otherwise, tell him how much you care about him but that you have a lot you want to accomplish before you want to think about having children. How long have you been dating for? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyNinja Posted March 25, 2007 Author Share Posted March 25, 2007 two months to this day, that's why it's freaking me out because I'm still getting to know him and he seems a little in a hurry. It's as though he has something to prove to himself or something Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jayar Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Two things to say: If he wants you to be his "baby's mama" then he can put a ring on your finger and do it properly. And INSIST on that! I mean, what the heck?! LOL Is "will you be my baby's mama" what has now replaced "I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you... Marry me?" Secondly, if he's in charge of the birth control, don't let him be. Get on the pill and don't trust him with keeping intact condoms. Best of luck. But jee, I don't think I would ever have believed THIS would pass for romance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batya33 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 It sounds like he has low and troublesome standards for what he wants in a relationship and a family. Not that you are not a wonderful person - just that his perspective is based on 11 women who seemed to have poor characters and values. I would date him for at least two more years consistently before making any life changing decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southerngirl Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 No ring on your finger no baby! Get your career going too first, that is your lifes goals.. it doesnt sound like you are ready or want a baby right now. If it is meant to be you and him have your life to spend together and plenty of time to plan all of this. I too wonder what all his rushing is for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Honey Pumpkin Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Too early to make that kind of decision, to be honest. Two months and you're only 21. I'm not knocking him, I think he was honestly trying to say how much you mean to him. BUT - too early. Try to be honest with him, but encouraging, I guess. I've had someone ask me about that a while ago, and it freaked me out as well, and I'm a lot older than you. So I *do* know how you feel, a little bit - sort of, whoa, this is too big and too committed, and yet... You guys should carry on dating and building trust in each other, get to know each other and learn each other, without having to make big promises. You've got years ahead of you, dont' rush these fabulous early months, which are just so damned nice! Good luck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MyNinja Posted March 25, 2007 Author Share Posted March 25, 2007 thank you guys for the advice, this site is so awesome!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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