NaNOx9 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 The inevitable happened and we crossed paths yesterday. Said hi to each other. Ran into each other again later in the day and exchanged a smile. Felt good yesterday, was getting tired of feeling like her mortal enemy. Today no contact at all until later, was almost another awkward brushing past each other with her head down, but she knew I was there. I told her bye and she said bye in that sweet voice that she seems to reserve for strangers. I wish I could just take off for a couple months and lose myself somewhere. But then I see her laughing and joking and I want my friend back. And then I want more, but I can't have that, it won't work now. God I wish I knew what she was thinking, her motives behind the attitude. Can she not handle being my friend? Did she manufacture the reasons for blowing up at me? Or did I really mean that little to her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
b2761 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 problem is, she herself may not know the answer to why/what she's doing 'means' either. I know the feeling of wanting to be able to fast forward til you can simply appreciate someone again in your life- 'get your friend back'- but then that sneaky 'wanting more' creeps up on you and you realize that you're still not where you need to be before you can think of someone in simply platonic terms. Not knowing all the details about your break up, I have experienced that people 'blowing up' isn't always about the reason they say it is at the time- many times it's just a general stress, uncomfortable feeling that makes them want to blow to get some distance from you for whatever reason. Which isn't the most evolved enlightened way for someone to be- but it's awful human of them. And again, they themselves might not realize a blow up is about something else. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaNOx9 Posted March 25, 2007 Author Share Posted March 25, 2007 Not knowing all the details about your break up, I have experienced that people 'blowing up' isn't always about the reason they say it is at the time- many times it's just a general stress, uncomfortable feeling that makes them want to blow to get some distance from you for whatever reason. Which isn't the most evolved enlightened way for someone to be- but it's awful human of them. And again, they themselves might not realize a blow up is about something else. Yeah the reason she gave was pretty weak. And she seems to be getting on like best friends with people she supposedly doesn't like much, like they're rebound friends or something. Honestly, that's what's really getting to me... here she is laughing with these people she has no respect for and she's treating me like a stranger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExarionUniverse19 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Very similar situation with me... she's not even smiling at me when we see each other (though we both try and avoid it). And when we did pass by each other once, we did have to say hi... but I could clearly tell that she was super uncomfortable about it. I want to believe her reason for breaking up with me (she doesn't like me "in that way"), but something tells me that isn't the only reason... or the reason at all. I too have very mixed feelings. Yeah, it does seem like we're mortal enemies or something... It's pretty natural to feel uncomfortable about what your ex is doing... such as talking with other people like friends... and she may just be trying to get over it, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NaNOx9 Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 I want to believe her reason for breaking up with me (she doesn't like me "in that way"), but something tells me that isn't the only reason... or the reason at all. I too have very mixed feelings. Well my situation is a little different in that it was a situational issue that drove us apart, it was like a LDR after that, not like we went our separate ways exactly. It was a little later that things starting going downhill. I've been thinking for a while now that she's reconciled with her ex but when I finally asked she answered in a very ambiguous way (didn't really answer the question at all) and then stopped talking to me supposedly because I asked this question, though she was already acting strange around me, and that's why I asked. Why can't she just tell me if that's what the deal is? Afraid she'll hurt my feelings? Yeah right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ExarionUniverse19 Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 Yeah, it's tough not getting an answer... in the case of my ex, I guess I can understand why she's avoiding me and not really explaining things... she doesn't want to face the awkwardness, and she's quite shy to begin with. She may not know the answer herself though. How long has it been since the break up? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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