scotty77 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 I bet most shy people have been given this advice at some point in there lives in regards to dating/meeting women.Well,for me ,it isn't working!! For the most part I am not some guy who has an easy time approaching woman in bars,thus ''being myself'' usually means doing the wallflower routine.I wish there was an easier way to meet women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 how about volunteering, or joining an outdoor club or something? somewhere where you have to talk to the women that you are partnered with, but it isn't under the stressful situation of "approaching a woman in a bar or club." Since you aren't comfortable with the "cold approach," then meeting women in a more relaxed setting could be good for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpc28655 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 There is an easier way, but it is illegal, lol. When someone says "be yourself", they are telling you to be the person you are if this lady wasn't there. Are you always this nervous, even when there is no attractive lady present? Probably not. How do you act around your family? How do you act when it is just you and the guys? This is what "being yourself" means, at least to me. Note: Just don't do the typical male-bonging thing with her like you do with the guys. Most women won't understand this, nor do they care to, lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty77 Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 As much as I dislike the bar scene ,I don't see too many other places you can go with an abundance of single woman who are specifically gathered there to meet men.People doing volunteer work and that sort of thing may or may not have meeting someone as a reason for partcipating in a given activity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 As much as I dislike the bar scene ,I don't see too many other places you can go with an abundance of single woman who are specifically gathered there to meet men.People doing volunteer work and that sort of thing may or may not have meeting someone as a reason for partcipating in a given activity. Most times (95% of the time!) I am not at a bar to meet men, but rather to socialize with my friend or friends. In fact, I and many women, are annoyed when a man approaches us when we are right in the middle of a serious conversation with a friend. I think that many single people volunteer or join outdoor clubs specifically for the reason to meet other singles who are passionate about the outdoors, animal rights, politics, etc...... Not only do you meet single people, but you meet single people who have shared interests. This naturally gives you something to talk about. And plus, you get the opportunity to "be yourself." People can get to know you and you get to know them while you are working together or camping together or hiking together. It is not like in the bar scene where you have 30 seconds to "sell your product" or she loses interest. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cpc28655 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Not necessarily. People don't schedule time to go "mate hunting". It just happens when it happens. That being said, there are 2 main driving forces for the human race. Money, and social interaction. Almost everything we do is geared toward one of those goals. And since it is volunteer work, we know that it's not for the money, lmao. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Pumpkin Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Here are some places where I have met women in the past: 1. On the bus. 2. At salsa dance classes. 3. Friendster 4. College library (you don't have to go to college to meet women there..just go in and pretend you are a student...) Try finding a talk piece maybe that will get the girl asking about you. As I have written in previous posts, my "talk piece" is a tuna casserole dish, which often gets girls talking. Food, esp, yummy food with a nice smell gets girls interested... try to stay out of bars..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
galaxy71 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 I don't know why people are so down on bars. For some weird, bizarre reason, I have read how plenty of introverted, shy guys have flourished when they started trying to meet women in bars and nightclubs. It's just that you have to find the RIGHT bar and nightclub to meet women. Last night, I couldn't do anything at all because ALL the women in the bars were with guys. The competition was pretty fierce as there was two or three guys for every girl. Other times, there were plenty of women that I could approach. However, I did have a great time going to this church party. I was able to talk to a lot of young, attractive women. The party was a lot of fun even though I didn't get the girl. Most times (95% of the time!) I am not at a bar to meet men, but rather to socialize with my friend or friends. In fact, I and many women, are annoyed when a man approaches us when we are right in the middle of a serious conversation with a friend. Don't go to a bar then. You know that bars are pickup places where guys go to meet women. Confident guys meet women all the time while the women are having a serious conversation with their friends. It just takes the right skill to interrupt womens' conversation. I remember one time when I saw this tall, gorgeous blond having a serious conversation with an African-American women. I interrupted the conversation by asking for some dating advice. Once, they gave their answers, I immediately started flirting with them because I knew that I was more interesting than their "serious" conversation. The tall, blond woman ended up completing forgetting about the "serious" conversation while she was asking me all these personal questions about myself. Not only do confident guys interrupt conversations in bars, but they also interrupt womens conversations in churches, parties, and schools all the time. Most of the time, women don't find it offensive at all as long as the guy has the proper social intution to know how to interrupt the conversation gracefully. I have to be honest with you. The advice you just gave is harmful. As guys we are expected to inititate and start interactions with women. Since you are a woman, I don't think you would know what it is like to initiate an interaction with someone that you find attractive. Shy guys like the OP need to learn how to be confident and aggressive since women want men to take the lead. The reason why shy guys are so shy and timid is because they don't want to offend people. I used to think that interrupting conversations was rude. Then I noticed that confident guys interrupt womens conversations all the time without offending the women involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Altruist Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Well said galaxy. I couldn't agree more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annie24 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 I don't think that the advice I gave was harmful, I am simply telling the truth, just because a woman is having a drink in a bar doesn't mean that she is there to get "picked up." And yes, I have approached men also, and asked them out, so I do know how it feels to be on the other side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Pumpkin Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 Ya, a bar isn't a good place to meet women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dating Coach Posted March 29, 2007 Share Posted March 29, 2007 I don't think that the advice I gave was harmful, I am simply telling the truth, just because a woman is having a drink in a bar doesn't mean that she is there to get "picked up." And yes, I have approached men also, and asked them out, so I do know how it feels to be on the other side. I agree. galaxy, I don't think that is fair to tell someone "Don't go to a bar then" just because she gets annoyed when guys interrupt her conversation. My fiance' get's hit on at the Gas Station. Should she not go and pump gas? Seriously. A bar is a free place as any, and if you want to go and socialize with friends then fine. Sure you might get hit on and not like it, but that doesn't mean that bars are not for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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