Interesting vs. Intimidating

[rpare001]

Ok so this is something I've been thinking about recently because 2 women have now said it to me, one was my ex who said it 2 or 3 weeks ago and another was a casual friend I was talking too.

 

I think I'm a pretty interesting guy, I grew up in South East Asia, came to the United States for college, I'm well traveled, well educated. I've experienced things that other people probably never will in their lifetimes (for example I was living in Indonesia in 1998 when the government and economy collapsed and we had to evacuate from the country, stuff like that).

 

Now twice I've been told that its actually intimidating to other people to hear about my life, where as I used to just think it was interesting. Now my life and my experiences are all I know and all that constitute me as a person- and people find that intimidating? That kind of upsets me. I would try to tone it down or not say anything about my past, but thats all who I am, I'm just a blank page otherwise. I'm not even sure what to say, I almost feel afraid to talk about my own experiences now.

[annie24]

don't take "intimidating" personally. Maybe they are just threatened because you are an exciting man! (I don't know, unless you go around wearing a ski-mask or holding a gun or club, then you do look intimidating!)

 

In what context did they say you were "intimidating?"

[rpare001]

Both of them said it was sometimes intimidating to hear me talk about my experiences, I talk a lot about the countries I have lived in and visited, and I understand most of my friends can't really relate to some of these things.

 

I think I can kind of equate it like to when your talking to someone your age who seems 10 times more successful in their career than you or something like that, which I think can be intimidating.

 

and no I don't walk around with a ski mask haha

[annie24]

I wouldn't call it "intimidating." I would call someone like that "enviable" or "exciting" or "interesting." I think that the difference is the self-esteem of the observer. If they are comfortable with theirselves and their position in life, they will find you interesting. If they are not comfortable with themselves, the will see you as "intimidating."

[Night Pumpkin]

I can somewhat empathize with you. For me, some people find me intimidating because I am so tall, and because I only like to wear black clothes. Actually, on more than one occasion people have said I look like a rapist. A rapist ?? I am a virgin....oh well....people can think what they want. All you can do is love yourself and be confident, and not care about other people's opinions....

[annie24]

rapist? wow. that's pretty awful to say!!!!!!!!!

[rpare001]

yeah I'm not sure how I would react to that one, but I agree with you about loving yourself and being confident

[ghost69]

you have an interesting story to me. if some chick told me about the things that you have been through, i'd feel like i haven't done as much in my life. maybe that is why they say intimidating. it's a comparison thing.

[miramira]

Both of them said it was sometimes intimidating to hear me talk about my experiences

Maybe it isn't the experiences themselves. Maybe it's your (perceived) attitude about them:

 

I understand most of my friends can't really relate to some of these things.

 

I think I can kind of equate it like to when your talking to someone your age who seems 10 times more successful in their career than you or something like that

[ghost69]

do you tell the stories like you are indiana jones? and then it ends up so unbelievable people feel threatened to say anything?

[rpare001]

I don't tell stories like I'm indiana jones, however people do find some things unbelievable, my best friend told me he thought I used to make stuff up all the time until he finally came and visited my family in south east asia in 2005 and saw how different life really is for americans living overseas

[EvaGina]

I am intimidated by my bf, he has travelled a lot, always pointing out if something he was wearing was from equador and things (hes not showing off)

 

Its more I feel less interesting becuase I havnt travelled at all, so I feel kinda... young... and boring becuase of it.

[ghost69]

maybe your stories are unbelievable. maybe you should just stick to saying where you are from and spare the details for a potential gf.