Flashman Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Hello I am a 48 year old man from Norway. My English is far from perfect, but I will try Last Christmas my wife and I separated from 16 years of marriage. In the beginning it was wery hard times, and I was willing to do anything to get her back. I was a desperate and sad middelaged man. For 8 weeks ago I decided to try NC. It was not easy, we have two boys. 11 an 14 year old. I tryed to have minimum contact, only the necesarry contakt about the boys. The boys lives with me half the time. NC works......in the last two veeks I start to feel better. And I begin to enjoy the new freedom. It is greeat to eat, and drink what I want. I dont need to keep my apartment so shiny all the time I have plenty of time to go to the shooting range, and have a good time with my fellow pistol shooters. And I have a wery great time with my two boys, doing a lot of fun, and have relaxing quiet evnings after homework is done. My exwife have start to call mee more often. And today she had a wery sweet woice. She want mee to come home Sunday for a chat and a cup of coffe. And she need help with the computer?????? (With two boys in the house?). I played cool, but I say Yes.....I will come and help you. But I am not shure I want her back again. Life is starting to get better. Dont give up, time heals. We dont need anybody, we just want them Link to comment
mxfun Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 You seem to be doing a pretty fine job with your English. I agree with you that NC works. I'm glad life is getting better for you; having the boys is a blessing i'm sure. I really liked your comment about not "needing" anybody...this is so true! If you feel that life is getting better without her, maybe you are correct in not taking her back. Good job. Hang in there! Link to comment
DN Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 If she does want to get back together then think it through carefully. Your life apart right now may be better than it was before you left. But you would have to decide what a reconciliation might bring you. In other words - your marriage after you reconcile could be a lot better than before you split if you both really work at it. So it is important to not only look back at what was but also to look forward to what might be. Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 That is a very good point DN! It sounds like a good sign that she is interested in reconciling and I am really glad to hear that you are doing well, and enjoying the single life. But maybe if you two decided to get back together, you could work things out so that things will be better in the marriage the second time around. Maybe you two could work things out that you continued going to the shooting range and spending time with those friends? It might feel "right" to not take her back right now.... but how would you feel 20 years from now? Would you feel lonely not to have a wife around, or would you feel relieved. I can imagine that you are enjoying the single life right now, as you've been in a marriage for a while, but there was a reason you got married in the first place, right? Link to comment
Flashman Posted March 24, 2007 Author Share Posted March 24, 2007 Yes there was a reason She is 10 years younger than me, and a wery good locking woman. She is also a leading Nurse, and working all the time. She is also stubborn as hell And she was the dumper. I will allways love and respect her. But right now it is best for us living apart. We need the time separated, to think tings ower. But......i loved to hear the smile in her woice. And I am loking forward to meet her Sunday. We cant go around hating each other. We have two kids together, and they want us to be friends. Anyway.....I recomend NC. It is a good method to cool things down. And it also give you time to clear your mind Link to comment
kate111 Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Good for you. Good luck. Let us know how it goes. Link to comment
Flashman Posted March 25, 2007 Author Share Posted March 25, 2007 Good for you. Good luck. Let us know how it goes. Pleasant afternoon with my EX. I enjoyed a cup of coffe, and a nice chat. With my ex, in the spring sun. I was a bit nervous. But we had a god time. I will come back tomorrow, and help her with the boys bikes. Spring has come here North, and ewerything looks better. NC is the thing to do, if you want a better relationship with your Ex Link to comment
istillluvu06 Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Nice to hear you have gotten through the rough times and can see so much more clearly now. Take things slow and best of luck to you! Link to comment
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