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cant believe he would do this to me......


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hi guys n girls...i really dunno where i should begin... they say from the beginning,but will take it from bout 2 weeks ago....


me and my bf were in love but having some probs... well we both knew that i was prob pregnant,and then apperently i wasnt showing him enough attention while my body and emotions were all over the place... i do recall telling him how much i loved him but this wasnt enough and it really did start to drain me. i think it was that thing he was worried incase our 'exclusivity' changed and i understand that,and would never do that - id love the baby and him equally! but his emotional needs turned into demands then into shouting at me... i was in a mood or this or that.... then when it all gets to personal insults of my character etc i leave. (this happens everytime) and where id return and try again because he has got good qualities... but this time i just wanted to be friends,as something 'snapped' inside. i knew this was an emotional/abusive realtionship and i just needed strength. i also just loved him too,and i know his past two relationships ended by the gfs cheating on him,leaving him very insecure inside. but im getting the crap,his anger and hatred for them,put onto me. im no angel but i cant take the vile things he calls me. we did try everything to keep us going tho - even fcuk buds but we just both ended up falling in love again.


then last friday,he wants to go to drs,and wants me to go with him as 'he couldnt do this on his own'... he was given a sick note for 4 weeks and we went home. that night we had a good matey night and i had to write an email and then my mate on msn suddenly pops up... i speak for 5 mins wanting not be rude to her or my ex/bf... but she needs abit of support over her partner so i asked bf if he could pass my drink and roll me a fag as i was online.... then he just exploded.... i was too tired for his all night rants and went to bed. i couldnt believe it but he never followed me with the all night tyrade.


anyhow next morning he was nice as pie,making me fresh orange,run me a bath then next breath 'so when you leaving??' ...it was kinda jekll and hyde,and i was thinking you b*stard! so i didnt go in his bath and i just calmly left... to him shouting a sacastically cheery 'ok byeeeeeeee,c ya!!'


next day hes on his faceparty putting topless pics up of himself ....whilst putting messages on his msn saying hes got rid of my pets and then sending me vile offline messages.


monday hes still being vile... but i find out im pregnant and ask him to stop for fear of loosing the baby. he said ok but would i take down my msn message anouncing the pregnancy. i said no way! he said ok i'll say its not mine. i saved what he said.


by tuesday on faceparty,hes got a link buddy from america,this attractive woman,and on his myspace,it says hes a father of 3 interested in dating. as if to rub in the fact that our lil one didnt count but his other 3 kids did! now on faceparty he says hes in a relationship.... in a moment of emotional rollercoaster i contacted him,but heard nothing back.


hes just threw me away... i know we both have faults and issues but there was a genuine love here,and now it seems like hes punishing me because im having a baby that he dont want all of a sudden - last friday we were discussing how we would do an unassisted childbirth - be lovely,just us...and on the next day hes looking for Miss Next!


AFTER EVERYTHING i cant believe he would leave me like this like yesterdays trash...


i just hope that when he finds his new found cyber freedom doesnt match up to his expectations and thinks OMG what have i done...i'll have had the good sense to see that a man like that isnt worth taking back


but i love him (derrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr) and wantED him to be part of the babies life and even if we were at least just friends but not this utter coldness....


blah blah blah......








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I'm glad you can realize that he is emotionally abusive toward you. Once you realize this, it's much easier to get out of the situation. I think because of his tendency toward emotional abuse, all the myspace stuff is meant to hurt you. Who knows if he's really in a new relationship or not, but he knows it would hurt you to see that and that's probably a reason for it. Just remember, that if he really is with someone else, he won't treat her any better. Be happy that you got away and you are free. It'll take time to get over your feelings for him, but every time you start to miss him, just make a list of all the horrible things he's done and said to you.


As far as the baby, give this some time so that both of you can start to get over your feelings, then maybe contact him and say that if he wants to be a part of his child's life he is welcome to as long as he treats you with respect. Then it's up to him as to how to proceed.

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thank you all so much for you comments..... i know this man isnt a man,hes a pathetic insecure nasty vindictive spiteful piece of sh*t for the way he has behaved towards me.


i am in a vunerable place right now - of shock that he would think so little of me to do this to me,so im like drifting now and then into a lil fantasy if he came back all wanting to be there for me and the baby.... then i think NO..where was he/is he when i needed him????


once the hurt and betrayal subsides then i know this will have been Gods way to get him out my life. and now im going to do the unassisted birth all by myself (its amazing what our bodies can do when we listen to them and have faith in them) ...so when i acomplish that,i think its fair to say my self confidence/esteem/worth will just rocket! im already in awe of my body and the miracle its growing. told the ex that he can look at all the slim wh*res he wants...they have nothing on me - my body is now that of a goddess and he cant use slimmer girls as a weapon anymore - think he was taken back by that!!!


but still i will read this site for support and strength and hope this feeling goes



thanks again for all your replies xxx

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i am in a vunerable place right now - of shock that he would think so little of me to do this to me


Just remember, that it's not about you. He didn't do this to you because of how he feels about you or thinks of you. It's about him and his issues. That's why he never gets better, it's because the problem is within him.

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