I Am So Scared -- I Am Not In Controll Of My Life

[rekrapshyguy]

Will my family die as pathetic white trash, or will God be actually kind and keep away this ghastly, seemingly imminent plague of living Hell?

 

September 15th, 2006, two days before his grandson’s 18th birthday, my grandfather fired his own son, my dad. He just completely cut off his pay that day. The reason he fired my dad is complicated, but my dad had done absolutely nothing wrong. The “crime” had only been a product from my grandfather’s twisted, megalomaniac mind.

 

My dad, being the optimistic man that he is, lifted himself off the ground, wiped off the dirt, and began to look for another job. As far as I know, not once did he sit there feeling sorry for himself about the fact that his own dad, whom my dad had spent the bulk of his life working for, had disowned him. He never looked back, but only gazed foreword.

 

Eventually, my dad found a very promising job. He was hired to be the head builder of a fast-growing city known as Mansfield. But before he could even receive his first paycheck, he was let off. He had no job. We had no income.

 

That happened in January… its been nearly four months since then, and the situation hasn’t changed.

 

In those four months, my dad, of course, has still not given up. He has desperately been trying to launch his own business. The only problem? He doesn’t have enough money to properly get his name into the public.

 

But he has gotten one job. These clients of his are willing to pay $10,000 for my dad to remodel their house. But here’s another problem… it takes time before he can get the money and start their job.

 

And we can’t afford time.

 

As of right now, we have, in total, only about $10,000. Each month, we have to pay approximately $7,000 on necessary expenses – food, water, gas, electricity, our cars, our house, etc. March has already been paid fore. But by the end of April, if that remodeling job hasn’t started, everything I have ever known is going to dramatically change for the worse.

 

Forget filing bankruptcy, we won’t be to afford it. We will have to sell my beloved house – the house I have spent 13 years of my life growing up in. If we are lucky, (which as you can kinda’ guess, that’s the last thing we are), we will be able to buy a trailer and live in a trailer park. My mom will have to find job at some place like IHOP, while my dad will have to abandon his business dream and work at somewhere such as Home Depot.

 

As for myself, my future will be shattered before it even begins. College? Ha… don’t make me laugh. Completely out of the question.

 

My life won’t just his rock bottom; it will fall through it.

 

Suicide will look increasingly inviting. And no doubt my mom will kill my (It feels disgusting to call him “my”) grandfather and then herself.

 

Our only hope? That sole remodeling job must get started.

 

And my dad has absolutely zero control over weather that will happen or not. It is in the hands of his clients. And they are having a hard time deciding on whether to initiate it or not.

 

If they don’t? Well, I might as well just pop a bullet into my brain right now. Because without a future, there is no point in living.

[scarew]

Sweetie, there is always a way out for people in your situation. Do you really want to go to college? Well I am sure you would be approved for a loan or grant considering that your parents don't make any money.

 

You can't let your parents misfortune transpire to you. If I did that, I would have certainly put a bullet in my brain. You are becoming an adult, your own individual person with your own goals. And once you reach them, you will be twice as happy because nothing was handed to you on a silver platter.

 

Please look into financial aid if you want to go to college.

[bouldersweden]

Don't hang yourself on your parents life and don't count yourself out. Make a plan (however impossible it may seem) and then take it one step at a time. Get scholarships for school, find jobs etc. Winston Churchill once said "It is no use saying, 'We are doing our best.' You have got to succeed in doing what is necessary." meaning that, sometimes doing your best is not enough. Something you have to do what is required. And this is coming from a man whose capital had been decimated by the Germans in WWII! Good luck.

[Aleadragonhawk]

Where your parents are at in life doesn't always indicate where you will be. Just because your parents won't be able to pay for college does not mean that it isn't an option - financial aid exists for a reason. You seem to be being very negative in this post. Story time.

 

When I was sixteen, I was living with my schizophrenic father because my mother's new husband decided that he did not want me in the house. My father was then kicked out of his home, along with my 20-something year old brother, who was also schizophrenic. We were homeless for months, and I was the only one working. I quit school, suffered panic attacks, managed to get a job, and struggled to support my family - because at sixteen, I was the ONLY person in my family who could do anything. My father turned into an alcoholic and attempted suicide, and, during a period of two years, made numerous passes at me. I also dealt with my increasingly violent and suicidal brother - and all this time, I was the only one working.

 

Today, I've gotten my GED, I'm in college, and I'm maintaining a 4.0. It's not easy. I've got no support from my parents at all. But if I can make it through all of that and still end up in college, I think that anyone can.

[Jetta]

Don't be killing yourself over this. Consider it a test from God. I've hit rock bottem recently, am still recovering, surpassed my deep desire to kill myself, doesn't stop me from asking God to take me, but I haven't taken myself out of this life despite how terrible it has gotten. You still have your family (I even lost that). I am filing bankruptcy (my mom loaned me the money to). I laughed because I knew I needed to file bankruptcy but I was flat broke. You even need money to tell the world you don't have any, ironic.

 

There are solutions to your problem. I lost my job and didn't handle it as well as your dad is. I handled it like you are, which only made things worse. Be grateful your dad has a good head on his shoulders. He's focussed on the solution not the problem.

 

Figure out how you can help. Can you get a job? Selling the house will bring in some money. Your family is healthy and together. You have more blessings in your life than you realize. Start counting your blessings.

[rekrapshyguy]

After reading all of these replies, I'm feeling a bit stupid about the whole thing. If there are people in worse ruts than I am in, who have still suceeded, I have absolutely no right to complain... let alone kill myself. I was having a panic attack when I typed that, and so alot of it was due to overreaction. My family is going to be OK.

 

Thanks for picking me off the ground.

[Luke Skywalker]

This is a situation that calls for allot of prayer, and it in situations like these, the only idea that comes to mind would be for your family to connect with Jesus for help.

 

If you have a legal claim for money, then sue these people and get a summary judgement - but I dont have too much faith in the court system since cases tend to drudge through and it will likely be distracting in your case - still sometimes you may get some sort of settlement because nobody likes being humiliated infront of a judge and you at least get that satisfaction if the other side is in the wrong and thumbing their noses at you.

 

You see, it doesn't sit well if you father worked for someone and got the boot before getting paid and I think there is a legal case there. Then if you enjoy doing it, perhaps you can be a paralegal I was a paralegal myself doing accident claims (not qualified to do it, but did it anyway) and made some small money off of referal fees.

 

Anyway I've been in situations where at the last minute something happened and I was able to see my way, and I still think there can be hope in your situation - God has always taken care of us and I'm sure He'll take care of you too so I point you in that direction.