My boyfriend is breaking up with me! HELP!

[Applegirl]

It's like it says and I'm in need of help.

 

I've been seeing this guy for about 4 months and I thought things were going good. We just got back from a weekend away with his parents in which I had a really good time but things started to get a bit funny just before we went away.

 

We met through my sister as it's one of her close friends but the catch was that he use to like my sister. He met me in May last year and kept in contact with me as I was living in another state. When I came home for Christmas, we became an item. He even booked a flight to where I was living the day after I left to visist me. I came home in Feb due to family problems and he became very supportive, looking after me till I got a job.

 

About a week or two ago, he started to become distant and since we got back from our little break, he has been ignoring my texts and being very blunt. I messaged him today to see if anything was wrong and about half an hour ago, I received the message 'We have to talk!'. So I'm going to see him tonight and talk.

 

My family and friends say that I could be wrong about him, they think something might have happened but I've had a feeling for awhile that he is going to break it off. I think it could be about my sister and he might still have feelings for her. I know it was a mistake to start a relationship with a boy who liked my sister but I couldn't help the feelings I got when I first saw him, it was like being hit with a hammer.

 

I'm so scared as it's the first boy I've ever really had true feelings for and now I'm scared that it could stress me out even more.

 

Please help me!

[Honey Pumpkin]

Hmmm, I've got to say that the classic line 'We've got to talk', given his coolness etc doesn't sound good. It does sound a bit like a prelude to breaking up. BUT it could be anything, it could be that he wants more space, that he wants to go scuba diving, that he's moving to the other side of the world, that he thinks you should go out for more meals etc.

 

Try to stay cool and don't anticipate what he's going to say. Do something nice for you today, pamper yourself. Whatever he has to say to you, you can definitely cope with it, no matter what.

 

Good luck tonight!

[eleanorrigby1]

Its weird because we always 'know' but when it happens we say "It was out of the blue i thought everything was okay..."

 

My ex always sent me a text in the morning saying "good morning beautiful! love Bob xx" and this particular morning he sent one saying "morning! have a nice day, bob" just the absense of 'love' and kisses got me, I knew.

 

An hour later i got a text saying "we have to talk.. come to mine tonight" I texted back "Are you gonna wait to give me a lift?" he said "no, catch a lift with my mum, see you at my house" I texted back "sounds ominous i'd rather not wait til the end of the day and come to your house, can we meet now?" and he said "lunchtime then" and then he dumped me.

 

I was glad i didnt go to his house which was miles from where i live to receive the bad news, Im glad that i got it over with and i spent that evening with my mates.

 

It feels like the world is ending at that emoment and im sorry for you, i wouldnt want to re-live that pain. I remember having a chocolate egg in my bag that i had bought for him (he had a weet tooth) and when he was giving me the whole "its not you, its me... i don't have time for a relatinship...." speech i just kept thinking "what am i going to do with that chocolate egg? what am i going to do?"

 

Its feels so horrible but you will get through it babe.

 

Be brave. x

 

one word of advice. meet neutral dont go to his house. you are gonna wanna get the hell out of there within seconds when the pain kicks you in the heart xx

[BetterKarma]

Its weird because we always 'know' but when it happens we say "It was out of the blue i thought everything was okay..."

 

I remember having a chocolate egg in my bag that i had bought for him (he had a weet tooth) and when he was giving me the whole "its not you, its me... i don't have time for a relatinship...." speech i just kept thinking "what am i going to do with that chocolate egg? what am i going to do?"

 

one word of advice. meet neutral dont go to his house. you are gonna wanna get the hell out of there within seconds when the pain kicks you in the heart xx

 

You hit the nail on the head eleanorrigby. Everything you said is so true.

 

I'm with her on this one. I never waited either for the usually heave-ho speech. I force it out of them before they intended to tell me. Somehow you always know. Why wait all day to think about it when you can get it over and done with? But this is probably not the advice you want to hear.

[Applegirl]

Thanks for your support and mails guys.

 

The story so far.... and it's a long one!

 

After I posted, I got very angry and upset as he messaged me at work (my new job and I'm stressed enough as it is), I left early after my boss saw me crying and I rang him up and asked him to just do it know before I explode.

He said that he'd rather talk to me that night and be beside me. I left it at that, apologised for my distressed phone call to him and went home where my sister greeted me with open arms and I bawled my eyes out to her then and there. She said she knew what was happening and that she came so close to yelling at him for hurting me but she's staying out of it.

 

We did meet on neutral ground, at a friends place where we talked and I was so glad that I didn't cry in front of him. He said that he wanted a break and that he has some issues that he wants to sought out. I told him I understood and that I needed to be on my own for a bit as well. When I asked how long had he been thinking about it, he replied that it was on the day that we left for our break with his parents. When I asked why, he said that my insecurities was an issue to him. Fair enough but we all have insecurities andI know that I did voice them alot when we were away.

 

So we're not together, it was a pretty good break up. I told him not to get my hopes up on a second chance but he said that there might be a chance but I'm not putting my money on it, even though I love him and I would love to try again with him but not yet.

 

I told him that if we find other people, then we go our separate ways but not to play with my feelings. We have the same social circle and I told him that if we turn up to the same house, that I will make friendly conversation and that I wont be immature. I also told him that I'm not going to text him first so I can give him the space required. He said the same thing and we hugged and went and got drunk together.

 

It was a good night, we talked more when he walked me home (he offered to which I almost didn't want to take), we do have feelings for each other and he is friends with my sister so we can't avoid each other totally. We hugged when we said our goodbyes and he messaged me early that morning to see if I was okay but I had past out by this stage. He then messaged later that afternoon and once again early this morning when he was drunk. In this mornings messages, he asked how I was and that he was scared. Whe I asked what he meant by being scared, he said he was sorry but he didn't remember sending that message.

 

There is mind playing going on his behalf and I am not taking too much notice of it and tomorrow he's coming over to drop over a chest of drawers and a dvd for me.

 

I'll see how I go but I'm not going to chase after him but I need to be on my own now which is very exciting now that I have been thinking of things to do! I would like to be with him again someday because there is something about him that calls to me; I've known it since I first met him.

 

Thanks guys, if you have any feedback on this, please don't hesistate.