huntmarsh Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 first off, i'm convinced i'm in a great relationship with a wonderful girl and i have no complaints about her whatsoever, and she tells me the same. BUT! sometimes she cracks jokes about how my future girlfriend is going to hate that i don't make my bed, or how my future girlfriend is going to hate my collection of music, or how my future girlfriend isn't going to like the fact that i hunt all the time. i know it may be a stupid question, and probly is, but why does she keep on referring to "my future girlfriend"? is she not expecting to be with me and be that girl in my future? should i be worried? someone tell me i'm being stupid, please. i'm over-reacting, right? Link to comment
mxfun Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 How long have you been dating? I do not understand, whatsoever, why she would say these things. This is not normal. I would come out and ask her why she gives reference to a "future girlfriend". Honestly man, this makes no sense coming from someone who is supposed to love you. I don't think you are being stupid in the least. Link to comment
spunkmaster Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 I may be way outside the lines, but in my opinion, that is probably her way of scoping out YOUR feelings about the future of your relationship. That's the impression I get from the context of what you're saying. So yeah, you're fine! When she says something like that, just respond "I guess you'll just have to get used to it then, won't you?" or something to that effect and see what she says...I bet it makes her smile. Link to comment
willow2900 Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 ^^ I agree. I used to say those things when I was younger! It's that little bit of insecurity and trying to scope out your partner and their feelings. Now I'm just a lot more blunt about the whole thing. I'll just ask the questions straight out. Link to comment
huntmarsh Posted March 23, 2007 Author Share Posted March 23, 2007 mxfun, we've been together around 5 months now. and i know man, it's weird. caught me way off guard, i never know what to say to that. but actually, spunk's remark doesnt sound too shabby, i may have to try that. see how she reacts to it, and if she continues, i may have to talk with her about this Link to comment
Scout Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 BUT! sometimes she cracks jokes about how my future girlfriend is going to hate that i don't make my bed, or how my future girlfriend is going to hate my collection of music, or how my future girlfriend isn't going to like the fact that i hunt all the time. That's odd. It could be a very passive-aggressive way of her expressing what she doesn't like about you. I'd ask her flat out if that's the case, and if not, what does she mean by that. That none of your PAST girlfriends have ever made any comments like that, lol. Link to comment
desert_rose26 Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 I think it is insecurity playing its part here. That's all. BUT, even though I'm a little insecure sometimes, I would never ever ever ever say that to my bf! You definitely need to give her a heads up. I think you have nothing big to worry about though. oh, maybe she's scared..going too fast? Link to comment
mxfun Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Five months isn't too long. Maybe there is some insecurity here, and maybe she is a little scared, but none-the-less, I think many of us agree that it's a good idea to ask what she means. I still believe the whole thing to be a bit strange. I do think it would be worth a shot though - to use Spunk's comment first. Link to comment
Invective Posted March 24, 2007 Share Posted March 24, 2007 Ohhh, my gf does this all the time. Well, she doesn't say it regarding things she doesn't like, but just makes little comments like sometime in the future when my future girlfriend sees me do something I can tell her who it was that taught me. She says it like a joke, with a smile on her face, although yeah it does bother me. I put it down to insecurity... We haven't been together that long yet, and I feel that while she's really into me, despite all my efforts I haven't been able to convince her I'm suitably invested in our relationship yet. So you're not alone. Link to comment
roverrunner Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 She's testing you in two ways (1) shes indirectly saying the things about you that she doesn't like (2) She wants you to react and say "but you ARE my future g/f" etc etc If I am WRONG then you have to talk to her Either way, you have to talk to her about what she means NOW Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 Definitely talk to her, straight out, and ask her why she says that. Communication is VITAL in any good relationship, and you guys need a good dose of that right now. Good luck. Dan on Long Island. Link to comment
EvaGina Posted March 25, 2007 Share Posted March 25, 2007 IMO, she says it as a self-protection mechinism... Too many girls are looked upon as clingy.. so its probably her saying "look, I love you but Im not pressuring you into staying with me"... I do it, a lot... Link to comment
caro33 Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 I used to do this sort of thing too where I was unsure of the guy's motivations and perhaps even thought he wasn't committed to me anyway. Trying to scope out and show I wasn't needy. I'm all for with spunkmaster's initial suggestion. Then see what she says or how she reacts. Link to comment
sweetharmony Posted March 28, 2007 Share Posted March 28, 2007 She's testing you in two ways (1) shes indirectly saying the things about you that she doesn't like (2) She wants you to react and say "but you ARE my future g/f" etc etc If I am WRONG then you have to talk to her Either way, you have to talk to her about what she means NOW I totally agree with this post! definitely testing and insecure about your status. i used to do this all the time. she wants you to respond positively and see where your head is. i think it's nothing to worry about. respond positively and see her reaction. don't get mad. if it continues to confuse you, let her know Link to comment
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