DON'T read this if you're not stable (long).

[thursday]

Hi to all, it's been a while since I have been here, but I have been feeling much better (& wiser) since beginning this year!

 

It doesn't really matter what my problem of last year was. It's an all new problem now -yay!- ..

 

I'm dead serious on the title though, close this page right now if you're not emotionally stable enough.

 

I'm going to try keeping this as simple as possible in order to not convince any one of my conviction: -IMO- there's no meaning to life. We're just here to experience whatever we like. There's nothing like good or evil. It's all in our mind. Everything you are now & what you want of life is only based on your primary/secundary education (even the most useless things you experienced).

 

Everything you put attention to matters, it starts to become more important as you increase the attention. This can be very depressing but also very uplifting. As an example I can explain the idea behind God: God is created by the concentration/beliefs of billions of people (randomly in space/time). This collective conviction results in 'higher powers' which at the same time explains why energy healing even at a distance works.

 

Okay this might sound obvious for 90% of you readers , but I have never been thinking and experiencing as much since last year, so it's quite a victory for myself lol ...

 

What the hell is my problem then? The problem is that I don't have any problems anymore at all except this one: I can't stand my parents trying to put pressure on me & redirecting me in life/belief systems in general.

 

Mostly school stuff.. Since this schoolyear I started studying social work because I want to help out the people with lesser chances in life/society. But I don't feel the pressure to study that much anymore as there used to be last year. This is caused by the believe time is all relative & everything will be fine in the end.

There are some classes (labor justice) which I neglected to study because I have been having a lot of ups and downs. I'm not able to make it through this year, but I know I will have more power next year, so that's my plan. Just fighting for my dreams in general.

 

My parents (although loving me) have been consistenly referring to other students and people who study a lot and are oh so wonderful in life. This gives me the feeling I'm the biggest loser on the planet. It makes me frustrated they can't see they're destroying me instead of helping me! It doesn't motivate me at all, it makes me just stand still & do nothing and reinforce my past negative beliefs!

 

Hm this is getting too long.. I'll finish it now. I hope you're getting my point for anyone who reads this. Some advice would be greatly appreciated!

It would also be nice if someone just said I'm not delusional. I'm still quite insecure regarding beliefs thanks to my parents!

 

Thanks (& sorry for the long read).

[astaro]

as far as my personal belief system there is no grand scheme to things. we are all just grains of sand on an endless beach.

 

the "purpose" of life for me is to feel fulfilled and happy. the ways to achieve these feelings constantly change and you need to readjust your strategy all the time to stay in your happy and fulfilled place.

 

i don't believe in laying back and trusting faith though, i don't believe "everything will be OK". we weave our own lives, our own destiny. our actions directly affect how our life turns out.

 

we all live the life we choose to live. sometimes things happen that make it harder for us to achieve our goals and to live our own lives, but even through the hardest of times it is our decisions that weave the texture of our future life.

 

as for your parents i would sit and talk to them, tell them that what they are doing makes you feel useless. we are all different, every single person on this plant is different then all other people. if we want to lead a happy and fulfilled life we need to understand this fact and learn how to live our lives with people who are different then us.

[thursday]

i don't believe in laying back and trusting faith though, i don't believe "everything will be OK". we weave our own lives, our own destiny. our actions directly affect how our life turns out.

 

Yes! I'm not trusting faith on everything, I want to take action. I'm just saying I'm seriously demotivated in life because my parents want to control me & make me a puppet of society. This results in me getting angry & doing exactly the opposite as what they want to see.

 

I talk to them & it doesn't quite matter.. they say and think "it's just puberty". Maybe they need to see a psychologist? A man or woman with some status will probably tell them the same as I told them, but then they would actually think about it.

[Hardrock]

Your parents think life will be easier, and you will be more happy if you conform to many of society's beliefs. This is just an inbred parenting philosophy. Also, having the same beliefs, or the foundation of most of them, keeps the family unit on a firm foundation. You catch my drift? This is all just normal behaviour from all parties.

[thursday]

Of course it's normal.

 

I found the cause of all the misery: doubt about my direction in life.

I don't care about modern society, I don't want to become a social worker anymore.. I'll just be a tool to fix people up who probably don't even deserve it.

 

I might be better off working in a factory making boxes or something lol..

My mind is racing about what to do now & in the end I come to the conclusion I don't care?! WTH, I hate mood swings.

[soulse]

Of course it's normal.

 

I found the cause of all the misery: doubt about my direction in life.

I don't care about modern society, I don't want to become a social worker anymore.. I'll just be a tool to fix people up who probably don't even deserve it.

 

I might be better off working in a factory making boxes or something lol..

My mind is racing about what to do now & in the end I come to the conclusion I don't care?! WTH, I hate mood swings.

 

Yeah, your not delusional, Im going through the same thing right now too. I think about my the degree Im going for and just end up not caring at all. For some reason now, my degree is one of the least things I want out of my life. My parents are the same way too. Constantly telling what I need to do (even though I know what I need to do). Because of all this though, I've started trying new things, whatever I can get a hold of, trying to find what I really like. Also, I think sometimes people think that their career has to be the definition of their life when in reality it could just be a means of income. The best advice I can give you is to just try new things and find the things you like. Those things dont have to be a career, they could just be your reason.

[SexIsDeath]

I know the feeling of being demotivated, even though your parents think they are stimulating you with their 'encouraging' (notice the irony) words.

My advice is to not listen to them, whatever they say. Ignore them or go upstairs if they're talking again about other people and what they have achieved.

It sounds like you're quite optimistic, so it would be no difficulty to believe in yourself, right?

 

"I'm not able to make it through this year, but I know I will have more power next year, so that's my plan. Just fighting for my dreams in general."

 

I wish I had that positive attitude towards my studies and all other things in life.

IMO it seems you're happy with who you are and what you do in life, so if I were you, I wouldn't make troubles about your parents attitude. It only means they care about you and want the best for you.

Just keep up the positive thinking and you'll get there! The most important thing is to believe in YOURSELF; the rest will follow.

 

P.S. You're not delusional. Some people (not necessarily referring to your parents) are just not that open-minded.

[thursday]

Okay I screwed up this exam period, but now I'm quite sure I will continue the social work studies anyway. It's still not a priority.. that's why it's so hard to study everything in a couple of days. If it was a priority I wouldn't have any problems. Guess I'll have to force myself to study an hour or two every day throughout this last trimester. I'll be fine

 

Thanks for the replies!

 

My advice is to not listen to them, whatever they say. Ignore them or go upstairs if they're talking again about other people and what they have achieved.

 

I would say that's bad advice lol.. BUT you have a point there! This automatically happens because they try to control me/us

 

I wish I had that positive attitude towards my studies and all other things in life.

 

Hmm, why don't you reflect a bit more about what you want out of life? I'm sure there's something for all of us here.. even if it's all useless.

If life has no meaning (which again I'm starting to doubt because of the meaning I'm giving it atm if that makes sense hahah) you can still make the best out of it for yourself if you choose to attract the things you like. Life is all about choices & knowing what you want & who you are will help manifest anything.

 

btw: SexIsDead, you remind me of someone I know/knew.. coincidence or not?

[SexIsDeath]

It's not bad advice, it's more a 'juvenile' advice hehe. It's just what I do when my mother is annoying me... and it works! So why wouldn't I share such magnificent advice? Hehe

 

Well, I don't really believe life has a meaning. It's just something you got to do or what's given to you, and then you have to make the best of it. That's what I'm trying to do, but it's hard for a 17 year old.

And I do attract the things I like! But also things I really loathe, and it's difficult to get rid of them. Or do you know an easy way? But I guess that's life; with happy and a little less happy moments.

You are damn right about 1 thing though: life is all about choices. In every second of your life you make choices. "Will I type this letter or not?" "Am I going to drink water or juice?" (stupid examples, but you know what I mean)

The thing is: I'm very veeery very bad at making choices. Nothing interests me and at the same time everything interests me. Talking about knowing what you want, hu. But I DO know who I am! Which is great, cause if I look at other people my age, they have totally no idea of who they are. It makes me feel good about myself, it gives me the feeling I'm wiser than most of my fellow pupils (without sounding arrogant and stuck-up, of course, hehe). With 'wiser' I mean like knowing what it is to live, not having good grades or anything. Wellll, probably you know what I mean. I'm pretty bad at expressing myself.

 

And I have to correct you: it's SexIsDeaTH, not dead; huge difference! I don't know if it's coincidence. It's from a song I know... Of whom do I remind you? I hope someone extraordinary and fun.

[thursday]

-EEK- This is scary.. your writing/attitude/subtle humor..

Call me crazy, but you sound like an interesting person. Believe me.. that's a very rare thing for me to say to someone!

 

& Yeah I guess that's life..

 

edit: -wait a minute- I think I know who you are, but I'd rather be wrong about it..

[SexIsDeath]

Scary? The only think I found scary at the moment is YOUR attitude, not mine. And subtle humor? I didn't say anything humorous.

You might be scary, but not crazy. I really am an interesting person, no doubt about that. Besides, every human being is interesting in his own special way.

 

Edit?

[thursday]

I wasn't saying you are scary. The situation is though..

Nevermind I guess I'm not feeling well today.. I do feel delusional now

[SexIsDeath]

Hi, I'm sorry to say this here (on the forum) but I couldn't send you a mail. Somehow it was blocked... But I read it, and I can assure you my initials aren't LV or SM. I do wonder why you are so * * * *ed up (or should I say 'worried'?) about it?