Girls especially...time to role play

[heartbroken23]

ok girls ...pretend that you have been with me for 4 years. We are both 23 years old. After 4 years, things start to get comfortable. We have talked about marriage before and I was once the man of your life. The man you knew you wanted to spend the rest of your life with...then during a summer class, you become attracted to a guy. He is really nice and you feel a connection with him. You decide to break up with me, to see what this guy is like, which leaves me devestated. I promise to be a more caring and more romantice boyfriend. I beg and I plead, I send flowers, notes, and cards and out of guilt and pressure you tell the other guy that you want to try with me again. We try again, and to me things seem great. We are having a great time...but you hang out with this kid as friends (me knowing). Thoughts of this kid come into your head. (I think she is infatuated). You then decide that it is not fair to me to be with me while she has these thoughts. You say that you want to be with me only if you feel the same amount of love I have for you. Its not me, its you. You say there is still a chance for us in the future but you are not sure...you don't know what you want. Is it possible that you will ever come back to me even though you are testing the waters with a guy you are infatuated with and I am not in the picture? HAve any of you ever had a similar circumstance and what happened. I know I have to just let go and if it is meant to be it is, but I can't stop wondering...please reply Thanks

[crookster_man]

Been there done that my friend. Nothing good will come of this. If your woman starts to wander you have 2 options try to address what is going wrong in the relationship (which is causing her to wander) or break it off.

 

Now in my situation the relationship was rather new and quite frankly I wasn't willing to put up with this level of BS, so I walked away. However, after 4 years I would take a different approach. I wouldn't guilt her into being with me because then she wouldn't have dealt with the issues that you had (hence her wandering again).

 

All you can do is tell her that you love her and want to work it out. However, she has betrayed you by wandering. She has broken your trust by telling you she wants to test the waters. Let me translate what this means "Test the waters" = "I don't trust/respect you enough to work through whatever issues we have so I'm going to go do my own thing and have fun while you wallow in pain. Why? I don't want to hurt you but I just don't have the time or energy to deal with this stuff right now".

 

Does that sound like a loving partner? I say give her the space she "needs". When/if she comes back I'd tell her to keep on walking, there isn't no second chance here. Would you really want to be with someone who has disrespected you so much? It might be nice knowing she wants you back, but really in the end who are you selling out? (yourself!)