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help!! what is this really about??????? over 40's


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Recently, over the last month, I met a man online,through a dating site.....he was very sweet and refreshingly easy to converse with. We got along great, and were physically and emotionally attracted......[FYI.. although no sex, it was too early we decided] .. Also,.I coincidentally work with a friend of his, and she told me he was very picky about who he dated....and shared with me,..it was really something out of the ordinary for him to be so interested...after about 1 month.....she also shared with me he told her he was crazy about me,..and it seemed so..he persued me, and we spoke at least every other day by phone and went out maybe 2x's weekly..A week ago, I had stayed up talking to my sis,. over the phone till late...and went to work the next day.. tired...On this day he popped up at work to ask me to go for dinner,..that eve...I declined very politely,..and told him I really needed sleep tonight...Things drastically changed,..after...this ..we had already set up a date for the weekend,..but he waited until the weekend to call and leave a messege to say he was feeling ill with allergies he would call the next day.. to reschedule....which he didnt...again...to make this a bit shorter,...even after me explaining, to him I did want to see him,..and was being truthful about that night,..things got worse,..to the point,..after much talking,..and after I asked him to communicate clearly to me what was going on,..he repeated what had been done before..he waited till late that eve. to call ,....and confirm for that nite.. Once he saw I was uneasy I was so he then asked about the next night instead....I hesitated,...and said I felt uncomfortable the way he was acting....,..after I had asked him to communicate,....before dates,...and didnt want to see him that night..It was too late in the day..I was angry he wasnt more respectful of my time........H e seemed really nervous and wanted off the phone asap!!!..he ended things right then &there.........by saying ''lets just leave it at that''... Later he sent me an email saying he felt rejected and didnt know what I expected of him..................does anybody understand this behavior??? thanks

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I hate to be the relationship police here, but I am seeing red flags..


First, you already heard he is picky about who he dates. Maybe it is his expectation that a woman should drop everything for him at a moments notice that makes him picky. Meaning well this one didn't drop everything for me when I called and asked her out 15 minutes before, so I'll move on.


Also, I can see some insecurities here. You didn't drop everything for him and instead of thinking to himself "Hmm, I really didn't give her much notice." like an adult. He internalized it and took it personal.


I could be wrong, but I think you should follow his suggestion and leave it alone.


Or is that if it smells like cologne, leave it alone?


(Sorry it's a bad day to be a man in my world)

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