InfinityPlusTwo Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I was sitting here at my desk and the cutest girl ever wearing the cutest little outfit peeked into my office asking for directions because she was lost. She was looking for some department that I didn't know about, so I started looking up any info I could find, then realized maybe she was a volunteer. 'Oh, it's volunteers," she said. There's a big sign and arrow a little ways down the hallway that says 'Volunteers.' She laughed and she was on her way. Real cute. I kinda hoped to see her again. Well, a little bit later after my boss arrived she stopped by again asking if she left her keys in here. They weren't here but she thanked us anyway and as her face disappeared down the hallway our eyes locked and she was smiling straight at me - that moment was heavenly. Afterwards my boss was a bit perplexed at the whole 'keys' situation and said, "I think she was just looking for you." "Eh, maybe," I replied, now really wondering if I would ever see her again. My heart feels sunk and burning; I HATE this. I feel like I just fell in love. Link to comment
Orange_County Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 OMG...why did you let her go? Link to comment
DN Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Find out a number for her and ask her if she found her keys because if not you would like to offer her a lift home. Get the convo going and ask her out for a drink. Move fast. Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Oh you should have said "I don't see your keys right now but if you leave your name and number, I'll call you if I find them." Link to comment
InfinityPlusTwo Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 what do mean why did i let her go? what was i supposed to do? 'excuse me boss, i'm going to go get this girl's number.' this kind of thing RARELY happens to me, or so it seems... i just hope I run into her again at some point on the hospital grounds... besides, she could just be flirting around, anyhow. she looks like junior/senior in high school - jailbait for me (22), but i'm thinking maybe a college freshman because high school students would be in class on a wednesday morning, not volunteering. i'm feeling really depressed all morning. Link to comment
Skylab Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Listen, even girls with boyfriends flirt with men just to feed their egos. If she can make you pay attention to her, she'll walk away feeling pretty hot about herself, caring nothing about what you feel. She may not even like you. This is one possibility. On the other hand, she might have felt an attraction, but if there's no way for you two to meet again, well, I empathize with you but it wasn't meant to be. Link to comment
InfinityPlusTwo Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 i feel like a stalker looking her up in the volunteer directory but i don't see anyone that matches her. she could be brand new. and i'd really feel like a stalker walking over to the volunteer department and asking about her... Link to comment
Skylab Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Oh you should have said "I don't see your keys right now but if you leave your name and number, I'll call you if I find them." That's a lot to ask of a man. He had just met her. Link to comment
Skylab Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 i feel like a stalker looking her up in the volunteer directory but i don't see anyone that matches her. she could be brand new. and i'd really feel like a stalker walking over to the volunteer department and asking about her... Don't beat yourself up over this. And I think your boss was just teasing you as men do. Listen, try to find out more about her, but there are more fish in the sea, surely. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 I feel like I just fell in love. :sad: Try not to get so stirred up about it. A good start is to call it "a crush" -not "love"... i'm feeling really depressed all morning. There's no need to feel depressed about something like this. You'll probably run into her again at some point. Don't worry about it. If it's meant to be, it will be.... BellaDonna Link to comment
InfinityPlusTwo Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 My boss is a she, haha. True, there are other fish in the sea...at nightclubs and such I always get hung up over a girl if I don't talk to her, etc...but I tend to forget about them the next time and such... but for some reason this just hurts so much more, I guess because this one acknowledged me, was smiling at me, i mean intensely... you have to understand i have "issues" including VERY low self confidence, so this made me feel real happy for a short time...and now it's brought me real down. i feel like curling up into a ball and just doing nothing. it doesn't help that another one of my female 'prospects' is letting me down lately. Try not to get so stirred up about it. A good start is to call it "a crush" -not "love"... I know, it just felt so intense afterwards. You need to understand this kind of thing is rare for me. Link to comment
pinksheep Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Listen, even girls with boyfriends flirt with men just to feed their egos. guilty but hey, guys do it, too! Don't get too worked up over her, cuz who knows, you may forget about her in a day or two. How much of a possibilty is there to see her again though? Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 That's a lot to ask of a man. He had just met her. Why is that a lot to ask of a man or of any person? People in offices do that all the time. If someone came by my office looking for something and I don't have time at the moment to help her look (i.e. having a meeting with the boss), I would say "I don't see what you're looking for right now, but I'll call you if I find it." Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Try not to get so stirred up about it. A good start is to call it "a crush" -not "love"... There's no need to feel depressed about something like this. I agree with Bella. You got butterflies because she was attractive physically and had a bubbly outgoing personality. That is not love. Plus, there is no need to feel depressed over something so silly. Disappointed you didn't get her number... yes, but depressed? I should certainly hope that your happiness isn't so fragile that some random girl you met for a few seconds is enough to send you into a depression... Next time you see her walk up and introduce yourself. Tease her about not knowing where she left her keyes. Ask her for her number and tell her you'd like to take her out for lunch. Link to comment
Orange_County Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 what do mean why did i let her go? what was i supposed to do? 'excuse me boss, i'm going to go get this girl's number.' this kind of thing RARELY happens to me, or so it seems... i just hope I run into her again at some point on the hospital grounds... besides, she could just be flirting around, anyhow. she looks like junior/senior in high school - jailbait for me (22), but i'm thinking maybe a college freshman because high school students would be in class on a wednesday morning, not volunteering. i'm feeling really depressed all morning. Well, It seems that you got captivated for this girl!.... as everybody is telling you...if it's meant to be it will be. I agree with skylab, sometimes people like to flirt arround just for her/his own ego. If you see her again is because it has to be like that. Dont get depressed...you couldnt do anything else! Link to comment
Skylab Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 you have to understand i have "issues" including VERY low self confidence, so this made me feel real happy for a short time...and now it's brought me real down. i feel like curling up into a ball and just doing nothing. it doesn't help that another one of my female 'prospects' is letting me down lately. I know, it just felt so intense afterwards. You need to understand this kind of thing is rare for me. I understand everything you are going through and empathize completely. I can only say that it gets easier over time, the more girls you meet and talk to, the less stressful it will be and the better you'll feel about yourself. Hang in there, you're only 22 damn it! Link to comment
Dating Coach Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 My boss is a she, haha. True, there are other fish in the sea...at nightclubs and such I always get hung up over a girl if I don't talk to her, etc...but I tend to forget about them the next time and such... but for some reason this just hurts so much more, I guess because this one acknowledged me, was smiling at me, i mean intensely... you have to understand i have "issues" including VERY low self confidence, so this made me feel real happy for a short time...and now it's brought me real down. i feel like curling up into a ball and just doing nothing. it doesn't help that another one of my female 'prospects' is letting me down lately. I know, it just felt so intense afterwards. You need to understand this kind of thing is rare for me. My man, after reading this post I'd say that your self described "issues" need to be worked out before you're ready for a girlfriend. I'm sorry to hear that you have very low self confidence, and I think we need to get you on a path for remedying that before you're in a position to handle an adult relationship. Based upon your self decribed issues and low confidence coupled with the fact you said you were depressed over not getting this girls #, as well as getting hung up over not talking to random girls at clubs, and feeling "happiness" because a cute girl asked you a random question... an adult relationship is going to eat you alive. In order to be ready for a real relationship you will need to address these things. I would guess that you don't feel as a whole complete person right now due to the fact that you are attaching your happiness so strongly to random encounters with women... and if it doesn't go your way you're feeling unhappy. Bro, in order to be able to attract and keep a woman you're going to have to show them that you're somebody worth being attracted to. You have to have Self Value. If your happiness is dependant upon your success with girls you've just barely met then you're not showing Self Value. You're showing that you have such a low Self Value that you're trying to fill that hole with someone else. No woman in their right mind is going to want to get involved with someone who's going to place such a large burden on their shoulders. If they wanted to have someone in their life whom is so dependant upon them then they'd have a child. Women aren't attracted romantically to children, they are attracted to men. Right now you seem to be throwing all of your emotions into each girl you find attractive. This will not only send signals of Low Self Value but also of Desperation. You know all of those songs about "independent women" and self reliance? Well women dig that stuff from men too. An attractive man is a Self Reliant and Self Respecting individual with Self Confidence. This type of guy is happy with himself and knows he's got qualities. In order to be happy with himself and his life, he is not dependant upon someone else. If he has another person in his life, that makes it better, but his happiness isn't resting on their shoulders. He is in control of his own happiness. This is attractive. Please read the two links in my signiture regarding dating. I think they will have a lot of information that will help you. And please, PM me if you have any questions or need help of any kind. I'd be happy to do what I can to help. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 i feel that at least once a day. i get to feel that again when i go to the gym soon. saw a hottie yesterday and we made eye contact. anything will happen? maybe not. but it was nice to look. Link to comment
igwmuchas Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Arousal and attraction I can understand, but love. I hardly think so. Btw if you ever encounter yourself in this situation again know now that its a clear green light to ask for her number or a date. Personally, I think she had her keys all along but she came back to see if you had the confidence to ask her out. Why? Girls love guys with confidence, and chances are she was attracted to you in the first place. So dont get so down on yourself, you saw an attractive girl, she most likely thought you were attractive also, thats a plus. You made a mistake, but thats not the end of the world you "lived and learned", and thats also a plus. So the way I see it, the cup is half full, and this situation although frusturating, benefited you more than it hurt you. After reading my post over, I cannot stress confidence enough. Correct me if Im wrong women, but how often do you overlook a guys confidence level when "sizing him up" (not egotistical of course, thats a nono). Even a simple smile back to the girl as she walked down the hall is an expression of confidence, which will be noted by her. So my advice, is take this situation for what it can be worth and start working on that confidence. You already know you have the looks, just need a little better presentation. Which if you need any help with Im sure the links on this site or accross the web can help you with. Have a good one. Link to comment
Massari Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Listen, even girls with boyfriends flirt with men just to feed their egos. If she can make you pay attention to her, she'll walk away feeling pretty hot about herself, caring nothing about what you feel. She may not even like you. This is one possibility. wow.. is it just me.. or this could be soo true.. never thought about it like that. Link to comment
Skylab Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 wow.. is it just me.. or this could be soo true.. never thought about it like that. It's ABSOLUTELY true. No need for testimonials here, but believe me. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 women love driving men nuts. they leave them in suspense all the time. it's like a game women play, but none of them talk about it. they just do it. i'm sure they do talk about it...but you never hear about it. i don't think you were in love, but in lust. Link to comment
InfinityPlusTwo Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 Thanks. I wish I could smile more at girls but I'm afraid of getting that look - that 'ugh', disgusted look that makes me feel like trash. I've gotten it before. How do I deal with that? I wish I could post a picture of myself and get some feedback but the internet is too public to put myself at such risk. Sometimes I feel I'm ugly, other times I look in the mirror and see a good-looking guy. Which one is more delusional?? Link to comment
ghost69 Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 just deal with the look. who cares if someone gives you the uhg look. don't let it bug you. i've gotten it many times. i'm not a bad looking guy. but who cares. there are snot nosed people out there. Link to comment
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